Come join us on the bumsnet conception bus

[loopylou1984]

Reinstating the gin deck from a previous bus for AF arrivals, and stocking up on pineapple juice and Brazil nuts, fx for lots of BFPs this month.

DizzyM, if the specialist thinks you are problem free then you probably are. This is a really good thing, as it means there is nothing physically stopping you getting pregnant. I know how frustrating and heartbreaking it is, and how you feel it will never happen, but you will get there in the end. In the meantime, we are all here to hold your hand. I definitely find some months are harder than others, so maybe you are just having a bad one.

I know you won't get any help as you already have DD, but would private IVF be an option? Maybe you could agree to try for 6 more months, then go for IVF for example. That way you would feel like you had some control over the situation, plus if you knew you had a back up, you could relax a bit more.

Sorry, I just noticed that you are scared of IVF. I completely get that you are worried about looking after DD, but bear in mind that most people don't get ill while going through it. It might be worth looking into natural cycle IVF if you ovulate regularly. You don't need all the drugs, so are far less likely to get ill. X

Thanks ladies you're amazing. I always know I can pour my heart out here as nobody in rl would understand. I haven't left my desk this afternoon and just kept myself quiet for fear of anyone thinking I'm a loon! I do think I need to have the conversation with DH and plan ahead. You've all been so helpful and yes I would feel better if we had a plan of action.

3 days of light, brown spotting and still no AF. arghhh! But at least I am now resigned to this not being my bfp month.

I'll probably get a birthday AF tomorrow. Woo.

I always check my cervix at work. Might as well get paid for it...

DizzyM I know how you feel. I feel super greedy and pathetic as I have 3dc already and some are struggling to conceive one. Our main reason for wanting another is that there is a big gap between 2 & 3 and the older boys just aren't interested in the toddler. I don't think that will ever improve much as they are at such different stages. Plus the older two are 17 months apart and from a previous relationship so I feel they have that special bond. I want that bond for my youngest. Although the gap is now getting bigger and bigger. I know soon I'll have to give up ttc we have given it until March time of next year as I'm 35 and had my first at 23. I just have a feeling it's not going to happen for us.

It's so hard at times beautician. It's lovely your eldest two have a special bond and I can imagine at their age they won't be too interested in the little one but I bet they're very loving and protective of their younger sibling. Fx you won't be waiting too long now. We have these moments but they will pass and bring back the positivity.

DizzyM Have a good chat and tell him it is starting to affect you and that you need him to poke his head out of the sand to ground you a bit and help you through this.

Kir not sure what is going on with all your spotting!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow Brilliant comment about getting paid for checking your cervix

Beaut stay positive! You conceived the toddler so there is no reason you won’t this time round too.

Beaut, there are 9 years between my youngest sister and me, yet we are still super close. I think as your children get older, the age gap won't matter as much.

I also don't think you should give up when you are only 35. I am 37 & trying for our first, but we have had ladies in their forties get pregnant before on this thread.

More snot like cm. but cervix now lower and harder.

Oh my cervix is now back in touching distance. Maybe it withdraws upwards for a siesta?

I'm also 37 and ttc1, 35 is virtually a spring chicken these days.

I am going to have to go investigate mine in a minute, I am feeling left out!

I haven't read back yet (stupid work got in the way of mumsnetting) but just wanted to say, DizzyM - please don't be out off by my experience after egg collection.... That is not the normal reaction.
Throughout the injections I felt absolutely fine :). Feel free to ask anything you like, am happy to share (up to the point of egg collection!)

Because we froze all the embryos we owe an extra £1000 to the clinic... I guess this means the original price we had did not include the freezing of any left over ones :(. That's £1000 after they have given us back the money for not having the transfer... So there'll be more for the FET too. If this works we're not going to have any money for the baby!

Hi ladies

dizzym sorry you're feeling low chuck, how long have you been trying for dc2? A friend of mine had to wait 7 years for hers after all tests were normal. But it happened. Hope you don't need to wait that long though!!

beaut I've just conceived my first at the grand old age of 35 :-)

pixa great to see you and glad you're open to options. You'll get your family x

Oh no nothing wrong with conceiving over 35 I'm not concerned about my age but about the fact the gap will be huge. First at 23. My friend conceived her first at 39 she's 40 now and they want to fit in 3 if possible

We're on cycle 15 chops. I'm just feeling very sorry for myself today but hopefully it'll pass. That's a lovely story of your friend. She must have been over the moon after waiting so long.

Sammy along with worrying about the effects of IVF I'm also worried that my eggs won't be so kind to me and there isn't much left! That's a lot of money but fx it gets you the outcome you want and then you've got 9 months so can start slowly getting the things you need.

I just think it's time we moved forward and started investigations but DH's positive attitude is starting to annoy me and I don't want to be the one initiating everything and him just going along with it.

Kir I hope you get a birthday BFP

Wow beaut good on your friend and I say go for it! I don't think it's a huge gap. My DSIL had her youngest when her eldest was 14 and I know people with age gaps of up to 23.

Dizzy, my DH was the same for a long time. Even now, he still thinks I will get pregnant when the time is right, which drives me mad! I think it is because men don't have the time pressure we do & they don't feel the same desperate yearning for a baby.

I am also terrified that by the time we finally do have one, I will be too old to give them a sibling.

I think you need to sit down with DH & have a serious talk. It might well be that he just doesn't realise how badly this is affecting you.

Beaut, I have also known people with gaps of 20 years. I say just try not to worry & go for it.

I just did another OPK & it was much darker, so think I will IV either late tonight or early tomorrow. CoC again!

7DPO here (just like mummyofonesofar) Nothing to report except my back hurts because I pulled a muscle. I stopped temping after I confirmed OV so no idea what my temps are doing... so we shall see!

fingers crossed for all of us

Nomio they definitely don't see ttc like we do. We've had 40+ bfps on the conception boards and it's definitely not too old. My GP actually suggested we start ttc when DD was 3 months old as apparently after a birth you're most fertile at that time. The thought frightened the hell out of me but now I wish we had started trying much earlier. Enjoy CoC!

Thanks, Dizzy.

I can understand you not wanting to start trying when you had a 3 month old!

bbh, Dizzy & Boris we are all 7DPO! Fingers crossed for us all.

Lovely story of your friend chops

I'm currently packing. Why oh why do I leave it to the last minute?!?

Really painful and heavy AF got me last night.

STATS
##kirjava, 31 (), ttc#1, cycle 5, bfp due 30th aug##

I'm going to take SI this month to try and bring fwd ovulation.

Happy birthday kir really sorry about birthday AF xxx

Temp back down to normal levels now after yesterday's spike.