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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Who is the dad?

12 replies

d1157230986361b000875 · 14/06/2015 20:24

I don't know who the dad is!! I am almost certain it is my husbands but i am not 100% sure. We have been trying for a baby so this makes this all the more worse for me. my last period was 10.5.2015 (period cycles 28-29 days) We had sex week beg 18.5.20 all week and i had sex with another person on the sat 23.5.15. Took a pregnancy test before period and was positive.
Am i right in thinking (hoping) that if i had sex all week with my husband his sperm are most likely to fertilise the egg quicker? I believe through dd calculators i am due 14.2.2016 - so i would of been fertile sat/sun.
Any possibilities on who the dad is?

OP posts:
littleostrich · 14/06/2015 20:28

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it really could be either. You'll need a DNA test to know for certain.

sizethree · 14/06/2015 20:31

Tbh by the sounds of uiur timing is is pretty likeky the other man is the dad and not your husband. From the length of your cycles and bearing in mind average ovulation times, the sex with your husband would be a bit early in your cycle for him to have fertilised your egg. Although sperm can live for a few days inside you after ejaculation.
I'm trying not to sound like I'm shaking a finger and being judgey, but TTC at while you clearly have a very complicated marital situation isn't the wisest move. Plus it is unfair of you to risk your husbands (and your health) by having unprotected sex with 2 men - especially as k presume your husband is unaware.
I do hope you managr to work it out.

LumpyCustard69 · 14/06/2015 20:31

The first day of your lmp was 10/5/2015???

I've always been told that your fertile days on a regular cycle can be 3 days anywhere from day 10 to day 21, so would make yours 3 days between 20/5/15 to 31/5/15?

No one can say which man is most likely to be the father. I guess it'll have to be a wait and see thing. Sorry. I hope someone else can be more helpful (and maybe more accurate).

I did read an article once about the chances of getting pregnant when you cheat being higher due to the endorphines released from excitement or some nonsense, but I couldn't vouch for the credibility of it!!

I hope that the father is the man you wish it to be, for baby's sake if nothing else.

Good luck.

longlistofexlovers · 14/06/2015 20:38

Both partners were very close together, so it is impossible to know.

Condoms if you don't want to conceive though. Feels mad to have to tell an adult that, but here we are.

SolomanDaisy · 14/06/2015 20:44

It's too close together to tell. It's possibly slightly more likely that it is the other man's, as that is closest to your likely ovulation date and although sperm can live up to five days there is a much higher chance of success close to ovulation. But you really won't know without a DNA test. Does your husband know?

Grewupinafield · 14/06/2015 20:53

Does your husband know you're having unprotected sex with another man? You seem to mention is so casually.
You'll need a dna test to conclusively say who the father is. None of us can tell you.

MrsPCR · 14/06/2015 22:18

It's going to be luck going by those dates as to which sperm made the journey. Your husband's will have still been there and this other guy's probably got there in time. I think you slept with the two men too close together to make a decent guess. Even when it comes to dating scans, that's from implantation which normally ranges from 7-10dpo.

To counter the cheating argument, I heard another theory that you're more likely to conceive with your regular partner as the body treats sperm as a foreign body and therefore the immune system attacks it like bacteria, whereas your body will build up a tolerance to the regular sperm.

Oysterbabe · 14/06/2015 22:23

Get your best tracksuit on and head over to Jezza Kyle for a DNA test?

Peacheykeen · 14/06/2015 22:43

Are you definitely going to continue with the pregnancy? If so I think you should be honest with your husband from the beginning that he may not be the father. Good luck

FlourishingMrs · 14/06/2015 22:44

Gosh OP, assuming you are genuine I you question , you really have a very unique moral compass, unless your husband is part of this arrangement, in which case the 3 of you can go to to a DNA test appointment since you are very generous even in the most intimate of matters such as baby making, otherwise you would have (a) kept your legs closed (b) used protection with the man you don't want to father your child.

CarrotVan · 15/06/2015 08:41

There's no way of telling but when you have your booking in appointment with the midwife do tell her all this. You may need additional STD screening and other antenatal support such as counselling on your choices and how to discuss this with your husband and/or the other man. If extra-marital sex is not part of your marital agreement with your husband then they will want to provide additional support if your relationship is at risk.

You can have prenatal paternity testing but you may have to pay for it.

Number3cometome · 15/06/2015 15:31

Just one question, why are you having sex with another man if you are actively TTC with your husband?

Solid marriage you've got there to bring a child in to the world Hmm

Jezza Kyle will no doubt be able to sort you out.

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