Positive OPK today need a buddy 38-40s

[FlourishingMrs]

Hi I am nearly 40, positive opk today,need a TWW buddy

Thanks Reni that made me feel a bit better .

Could you tell me why it is you decided not to pursue IVF?

The reason I ask is that I'm not that keen on the idea myself, either. I can't put my finger on why, and I've never researched it, so I don't really understand what it entails. I've seen threads on IVF and all their talk of blastocysts and stimming(?) is all Greek to me.

I'm not sure what it is that I'm not keen on. I don't know if it's the drugs, or the low success rate, and potential disappointments - I just can't put my finger on it.

DH is also not that keen on the idea. In fact, after six months we got referred to the fertility clinic for tests so I've had the ultrasound, am getting blood test results in August, DH is doing his sperm analysis next week etc. So we will do all the tests we can have done, but DH actually said 'they're not going to hurry us into IVF are they?'

In his job they write strategies on things to do with ex-looked after children, so he's very aware of kids out there who need homes, and I think we're both inclined to the adoption route (if it came to it, and understanding all the difficulties that it entails).

So just wondering what your thoughts were on IVF as someone who probably knows a lot more about it than I do.

(NB. Sorry for the essays this morning )

I have just seen too many couples going through IVF, the strain it puts on their relationship, the health impacts during (artificial menopause anyone- followed by re-starting cycles hormonally?), not to mention the costs and the enormous emotional stress, and all of this for a slim chance of success even for young couples. It is easy to forget that more couples walk out of these clinics without a baby than with. I really wanted a baby back then and I want another one now, but I could always imagine a life without them, so it wasn't for me. If a baby had been the only thing to make my life complete it might have been different.

Really It can be hard to stay optimistic when you read about stuff going wrong. I can empathise with how you feel, although I am lucky in having DS already. I will say that I have had a chequered medical history and had been told that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant and that pregnancy itself would be risky, yet it did eventually happen and DS arrived safely. So it does happen against the odds. Fingers firmly crossed for us all, even if it doesn't happen this month (it won't for me now as I have definite cramps now. AF in 4-5 days I reckon. Grr!)

reni Same here. We were set to try IVF first time, then I conceived, but it wouldn't be an option now. No way we could afford it apart from anything else. Mother Nature it is!

Thank you both for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I have to say I liked this thread because it's for older mums/mums-to-be but seemed to be free of all the IVF chat on the other threads.

I think I might consider Clomid if it turned out I wasn't ovulating (haven't tried temping yet to find out Reni - must buy a thermometer!). But I just can't see myself going down the IVF route and it's good to hear others in a similar boat!

I ended up raiding the cupboard for chocolate biscuits after my 'moment' but your posts were much more comforting than the biccies.

Sorry about your cramps Fridge. That's like me with my sore nipples. Bloody early warning systems!

Agree clomid would be worth a pop if no ov. AF is here, bloody witch.

OH poor Reni, I really thought this was your month. I did POAS and it's a BFN 9DPO. First response so not baba for me.

Really, please don't get yourself down, I am I right I. Assuming that its your DH's baby you won't not any mans baby. In the case your decision was right. It's good to be sensible and have a less complicated life. I am sure your PHD gives you a lot of other satisfaction, perhaps more that shoe shopping does for me?

Success is more that money and babies.Nice as both things are, some baby's do grow up into not very nice people so let's not get too carried away. Now cheer up or I will right a desitation about you... You see I sometimes wish I did not have my DD at 19 and missed out on academia. I would not swap her for anything though, she has inspired by business skills. So there is always the other side.

On he subject of IVF, I feel like I don't have a right to an opinion as I am not childless. I do however worry about too much interference with nature. I worry about the impact on the babies. I thought it was about the strongest swimmers making it to the egg? If they get helped too much could we not open our children to all sorts of trouble?

That said I don't know enough on he subject to really have a view. If I was in that situation I would probable look at adoption or surrogacy if I had a sister to do it for me.

Everyone has to find their own path and set their own boundaries. For some people adoption is the right route, for example, and others say they know they just couldn't do it. The problem comes when people don't recognise others' limits and valid choices. I read a thread where someone's mum had told them she didn't see her IVF-conceived grandchildren as 'real' grandchildren and I felt both sad and angry on that poster's behalf.

Very wise words, fridge. My no to IVF and adoption is a no for me and for now. I might have thought differently about it if childless, but maybe not. I might again feel different 2 or 5 years from now..

Reni and Flourishing I'm sorry about AF! There needs to be a witch emoticon.

Flourishing you're right - I'd rather be trying for DH's baby than any of my previous partners (especially the one who was so messy you couldn't actually see his floor).

Interesting thoughts on IVF too, people. DH has an irrational fear of hospitals anyway so the less contact he has to have with medical science and big buildings with long white corridors the better, probably although presumably he'd have to get over this for the actual birth.

Re. surrogacy for my sister....funny you should say that. I'm seeing mine tomorrow for the first time in a year (she lives abroad). She's 42 though and thus far shows zilch sign of a maternal instinct. I can't imagine her wanting to babysit for 9 months for me .

Well lets challenge her, perhaps she could do it for the thread. It seems the ladies who either don't want children or are not ready just have to watch the discovery channel and they get pregnant.

Preparing my pitch to her! Will let you know what she says

Cd3. Boring. Waiting for af to leave town, then for ovulation.

Day 24 here, almost 25.

Just went through my Ovia app to see when AF starts and it's always 25, 26 or 27.

Oh, the tedium.

(We really need a yawn emoticon.)

The witch got me on day 27 ladies, I am never early usually 28-29 days. Well, we will be on holiday next fertile period. Having a nice glass of Malbec.

Cycle day 1

Sorry to hear that. Bring on the booze cruise.

It's tedious here too. CD27, no AF yet but I know she's on the way so just keep thinking BORED NOW, SHOW YOURSELF WITCH. Have a night out with friends Saturday so it will be all the way then. Bad luck flourishing and everyone else in the disappointment zone.

Show yourself indeed, witch!

CD 26 and she's not shown here yet either. Could this be the inositol I've been necking to try and lengthen my luteal phase? Maybe, but I am officially bored now.

Fingers crossed for you Fridge/Notreallyamorningperson... I cannot wait for morning sickness to get you. It surely must better than the TWW.

AF is really Heavy today, she has been really light and short since coming off Mirena in Dec. Assuming short periods hinder implatation? I think I am making up biology to just cope with this nonsense. Babies cry and interfere with your sex life... Lets not get to worked up about TTC.

I am glad you made it to day 27 Really. How many DPO are you now?

Ha - they do cry and keep you awake / interfere with sex life etc. I've got two sets of friends with newborns so I've heard all the gory details!

Thanks Flourishing I've only had one other cycle that's managed to last this long in 8 months. Normally I'd have also started spotting like a mad person 4-5 days beforehand too.

All month I was taking myo-inositol though to try and lengthen my LP (read about it on MN, no less).

I came off BC beginning of December too - mine was the pill though (Marvelon). I'd been on it about a hundred years. My periods have also been incredibly short (1-2 days.)

So can't be building up much of a lining. Why I stayed on the pill so long I'll never know something to do with worrying about spots

Oops missed that Q - I'm 11/12 DPO (if ovulation occurred on CD 15, and that's a big if.)

Okay it's CD 27 and still no AF or spotting. I feel like I'm tempting fate but seeing as I've never got this far in the cycle I'm wondering if I should POAS. Even if just for sheer novelty factor. Also my Ovia app is telling me it's CD 1 even though I haven't told it AF has come yet.

If so, which HPTs do you experienced persons recommend?

Having been a very sensible teenager I have reached the ripe old age of 38 literally without ever having to buy one.

I think I would prefer one that unequivocally tells me yes/no banana rather than one that I have to squint at/interpret different shades of pink. Also one that you can pee on in the afternoon. Any idea which might suit?

I'm pretty sure it's just the inositol that's lengthened my cycle. However, I've got the idea in my head now to POAS!

So I did my first POAS. I went for Clear Blue (non digital). Thought I'd keep it simple. I'm surprised by how much they cost!

Big fat negative. I'm surprised at how crestfallen I felt. I'd given myself a stern warning not to beforehand.

I only did it because AF is a day late. No idea where the witch is hiding. But am def not preggo. Ho and hum!