Oh honey I hate the fact that I know exactly how you feel, why is life so bloody unfair sometimes?
There are no words, people don't understand, they don't realise that we've lost a part of our future, the plans we've already made in our heads, girl or boy, fair or dark hair, blue or brown eyes, so many things, you start to plan a whole new chapter of your life and you start down a new exciting lovely hopeful path and them wam, everything has changed you've lost so much.
To be honest I'm really struggling, so emotional, crying at the drop of a hat, feeling overwhelmed with the whole situation, also have unfortunately developed a bit of PTSD with regards to the hospital and the thought of ever having a scan again, I also struggled going back into my bathroom as I was obviously haemorrhaging in the evening before I collapsed and kept replaying that in my mind.
I didn't hardly bleed after the D&C at first, it was really light and gradually got a little heavier, mostly brown after the initial red colour, no period as of yet, the brown is virtually gone.
We have (against advice of waiting for a period) slept together once, mostly as I felt like I needed the closeness, but I'm terrified now at the prospect that I might conceive just because of the worry now associated.
After my blood transfusion they said my iron was 68 which apparently is incredibly low, so ive been on the iron tablets and I'm leaning towards the idea of giving it 6 months and trying to get back to a more healthy state before trying again.
I just don't know, it's an impossible situation when your heart and your head are in conflict with each other.