We may all have the --rabies-- crazies, but we don’t need no ‘hints’ thanks! Grab yourself a (small) cider, get your sex towels at the ready, it’s Just Shagging 47!

[5hell]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 46 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2374301-Sod-the-elections-we-want-erections-Were-hoping-our-miroids-will-deposit-their-seed-in-our-lady-gardens-and-well-all-end-up-growing-giblets-Come-and-join-us-on-our-magical-new-bedsheets-its-Jus?pg=1" target="_blank">HERE </a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2380377-JS-viroids-are-here-in-their-28th-outing-complete-with-exploding-belly-buttons-Theres-royal-foofs-and-jiffy-bag-gifts-but-most-certainly-NOT-x-rated-colouring-books-at-the-VAGINA-party-HQ" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2355867-Weve-no-time-for-JSing-Were-battling-green-nappies-sleepless-nights-x-box-playing-men-and-trying-to-hide-our-sling-addictions-Fuck-it-lets-do-a-runner-on-a-golf-cart" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

5hell, don't worry about it i'm amazed you all can remember anything as this fred is so fast paced.

Just, thanks.

OMG I have no words for Chat, i just can't even comprehend those feelings.

shitting hell, poor poor Chat!

just it's a lovely idea to do something, although I dont suppose anyone knows where she lives and it doesn't seem right to be asking her for her address right now? sorry i dont have a better idea or solution, just rambling really :(

I would like to contribute too if us JSers can manage it.

Just horrid.

I feel weird talking about the goings on in my fanjo.

I've just been for my first smear in years. Wasn't too bad and I am phobic but dildocam from miscarriage with bad news meant it didn't seem so bad.

I used my first opk today for whatever that is worth. ROC - lid to dry shampoo. Negative. It's weird how POAS makes my heart race.

Yes i did think that. Hmm.

stoat my roc is the same! Glad smear was oK. Must book mine.

I had an update today from Sunshinepickle, she's still lurking and wanted to let you all know she's ok, back in the UK and is sorting things out with a lawyer xx

I can't believe this has happened to chat. I am shellshocked and totally utterly devastated for her. Life is so so so fucking unfair. So fucking unfair.

Thanks for the update Jelly, good to know that Sunshinepickle is doing okay.

I'm sorry for your friend everyone.
Even considering it gives me the fear.

I hope everyone is ok

I know jelly I can't stop thinking about her. Where do you even start on your recovery from something like that? Im loving the support on here today. Just another example of how caring, supportive and lovely you all are.

I'm glad sunshinepickle is still lurking and managing to sort things out. I hope she's got a kick ass lawyer and gets everything she deserves. Xxx

Glad to hear that sunshine is lurking, is in touch, and is getting legal help.

just I think that's a lovely idea and if we can make it happen I'm in! I wonder if mnhq can help. her address may be on her account, they could arrange the actual sending. I think chat is in Belgium. will Facebook give us any details? depends how locked down her profile is.

pickle hi! glad you are in touch with a lawyer. sounds like it went to the point of no return. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. don't be a stranger

La and Dulcet have suggested on the grads fred that we make a collective donation to a stillbirth charity as getting a card/flowers to chat would be quite tricky. I think it is a really nice idea.

So do I pud. I wish there were more we could do.

Such a terribly sad day.

I know

That sounds like a lovely idea pud. I'm in for any flower giving but agree think that it would be difficult re addresses and things... I'm in for donating towards a stillborn charity.

sunshinepickle I'm glad you got in touch with one of us. Feel free to message one of us any time. Stay strong beautiful.

pretzel I have no af. Didn't poas today. I don't know when af is actually due though. Any news from your side?

Thats a good idea.

sunshinepickle

Happy birthdays JC and Honey! Hope you have had lovely days.

So glad to hear sunshinepickle is lurking and sorting legal advice.

Utterly devastating for Chat. I can't imagine what she is going through and would absolutely be part of a group donation to a SB charity.

On a selfish note it's also made me (more) paranoid about my own early pregnancy. I know that's totally inappropriate but I suppose it's bringing home the fact that life/creating life is so precious.

Jelly - again, don't want to say this on the grads thread as it's not the time or place right now...but I also cannot stop peeing, waking up at 5am every morning and have super heavy feeling painful tits. Scrap that. They're not even tits anymore. They're wobble-tastic blancmangey anvil-heavy droopy domes of pain.

feathered I don't think that's selfish. I think every single one of the grads is clutching their bumps and bellies and little tighter today.

I think we should start a new grad Fred, I just don't think it is right to start talking about pregnancy on that thread any more.

Dulcet and Pud are sorting the donation everyone I'm sure they will update when it's sorted.

I think the idea of a donation in Tinychat's honour would be good. They are just out in Belgium for Mr Chat's work aren't they?

Yeah moved last year I think.

Not to lower the tone but my boobs are bloody sore!

I have to say I gave my boys an extra big hug tonight when I got in from work. Love my boys even dh when he's a pain!!

I have no words for poor chat, utterly devastating.

How utterly awful. I don't know Chat well, as I am a relatively new JS-er, but my heart goes out to her.

Oh god just caught up how awful for chat sending her lots of love and hugs!

Also in for flowers or any type of donation

Evening all. I know some of you wanted to know if you could do anything for chat. It is hard to send flowers or anything as we don't know address details so a charity donation is the next best thing we could think of.

There is absolutely no pressure to donate, it doesn't mean that you feel any differently, this is completely optional and is just a gesture from all the JSers regardless of if you donate.

Donate to SANDS

Thanks dulcet I think we all just want to do something even though there's nothing that will help. Charity donation is a great idea, agree no one should feel they should, it's not a measure of your compassion