We may all have the --rabies-- crazies, but we don’t need no ‘hints’ thanks! Grab yourself a (small) cider, get your sex towels at the ready, it’s Just Shagging 47!

[5hell]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 46 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2374301-Sod-the-elections-we-want-erections-Were-hoping-our-miroids-will-deposit-their-seed-in-our-lady-gardens-and-well-all-end-up-growing-giblets-Come-and-join-us-on-our-magical-new-bedsheets-its-Jus?pg=1" target="_blank">HERE </a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2380377-JS-viroids-are-here-in-their-28th-outing-complete-with-exploding-belly-buttons-Theres-royal-foofs-and-jiffy-bag-gifts-but-most-certainly-NOT-x-rated-colouring-books-at-the-VAGINA-party-HQ" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2355867-Weve-no-time-for-JSing-Were-battling-green-nappies-sleepless-nights-x-box-playing-men-and-trying-to-hide-our-sling-addictions-Fuck-it-lets-do-a-runner-on-a-golf-cart" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

So my mum picked up dd a little while ago. Off to visit family so I won't see her again till tomorrow lunchtime. Burst into tears the second I closed the door.....The house is eerily quiet!!!
Dh might be home early. Contemplating getting in a stag before work, purely to cheer me up and make most of child free time. A has just finished so nowhere near baby making stage

Scrap that. The minute I hit send I started spotting again. Bloody af keeps ruining get child free time!!

Happy birthday honey and jc!

Still no AF and bfn here (AF was due Sunday). Not pg and no AF either. I think my body is trolling me.

How're you getting on ain?

Happy birthday honey and JC

5HELL, thanks, we already have 2 boys (aged 6 and 4), i have been thinking about #3 for about 2 years to make sure i really did want another and it wasn't just a i want i want thing.

it was only about a month ago that i said to dh that i really wanted to ttc#3.

Ain, yes we have 2 boys. In september youngest will be at school (oldest aleady in year 1).
I have said all the reasons why i want another (when youngest was born i can't remember the first 3 months and i want to remember again iykwim, i'm worried about my age, am 34 in July and am wanting to ttc next year when i'm nearly 35. It feel right to me to try for another, i can just picture us with a 3rd, for me it just feels right, i have said that if it did not happen then i would be fine with that but i would regret not trying and i want to have lots of sex with him)
I have said that i would want to come off the pill august time with a vire to ttc next may onwards. When ttc#1 it took me 13 months to have a bleed so i am very aware of that too.
All i got from him was and i quote ''i don't want any kids erm i dont want anymore kids'' - i didn't get any reasons why.

As for house size, we are waiting for our builder to come back to us about extending bedrooms (so if thats too much to do it would be a no anyway), as for car we need a new one and want a bigger one so no problem their.
We have a cot bed, a toddler bed and a single bed and a spare double bed, we have the newborn car seat (and 2 bases for it to go in), and a travel system and 2 strollers and we I have kept some lovely baby toys from the boys. so for spending money we would not need much.

He does worry about money, but this is why we would ttc next year to give us time to clear a couple of CCards.

Thanks ladies your just what i need when i can't talk to friends in RL.

Right enough about me,

Happy Birthday Honey and JC! x

Happy birthday honey and JC

I got the sex last night.

So my app is putting me at 2dpo and my skittletits seem to agree! Think i've covered my bases, cd4, 7, 9 (twice), 10 (twice), 11(twice), 14 and 15/1dpo
Bit worried about missing days but got positive opk cd13 so hoping its covered! Opk still pos though!

radley no great advice to offer so

sarah poor you, glad dog looking after you!

jelly it will be fine, prob just the distraction you need

just if opk is still positive keep shagging. post us a pic so we can debate your dpos!

Bad news on grads thread.

i can't beleive it, i've been sitting at my desk almost crying all morning :(

radley sorry! i do pay attention honest! but i dumbly tend to assume most of us are ttc #1

just that is some super effort of the JSing front - 10/10! as lil says might as well keep going whilst you're on a roll :)

What's happened honey, I don't read the grads thread. Find it hard enough to keep up with this one.

:(

pickle Chat's baby was stillborn this morning at 36 weeks. It's utterly devastating.

its so unfair!

Just awful.

Oh god that's terrible. Poor chat and family, I can't even imagine what they are going through

Thanks just yes DDog is very good at comforting me!

jelly i cant even find words, my heart goes out to her

Oh poor chat, how awful

Oh god that's so awful, I can't imagine how you can deal with it, poor chat

oh that is so awful. That poor woman. I don't know how you bear that. Can we get together and send her some flowers or something so she knows we are thinking of her? I'm happy to organise.

Seems innapropriate now but here is my pic....carried on with cb ones after peak too and that says low so maybe the ic isn't? Dtd just in case. I am impressed with our effort too! I'm also looking forward to the break when I go away to visit sis tomorrow!

That is horrible. Poor chat and her family. I am all teary.

How awful

I'm in just! What are others thoughts?

Unable to do my just incase shag as dh is out tonight. This months efforts have been poor and my temp is doing funny things

country I believe jelly only dtd 5 times this month...just saying! I am happy to organise flowers, I could set up a paypal thing if people think its appropriate.

Yes just that sounds like a nice thing to do.

country this months efforts have been pretty crappy over here too but there's always hope