Don't mess with the Bumsnetters they have Angry Pubes!

[juneybean]

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purdie I love my DS.

Were your childcare fees more than your salary?

I went back to work on a 'jobshare' basis after dd. I work 2 days one week and 3 the next. I have a good salary and my mum has her one day (or 2!) and my mil the next. I felt better that way because I like that they get quality time with her.

I can honestly say I wouldn't have returned to work for £48 per week.

Work is my sanity though and I have a lot of respect for full time mums and their patience!

I was lucky that I got a childcare grant to allow me to do a course when DS was 1 and then age 2-3 my childminder costs were high until I got the free hours in nursery. Then I moved nearer family who then helped more so I had more of an income again. After I moved up north for a few months before DS started school maybe I was worse off but I didn't think about it really, just paid it knowing he would be in school soon. And this time I'll take a year out again then be paying £550 a month in nursery fees but we will still be better off and I enjoy working and being able to afford a holiday every couple of years.

Wotsits, I'd love to do a job share so that I felt I was stretching myself intellectually whilst also being a good mum to Nancy.

I'm not criticising mums who work - it is mind-numbing being home with a baby all day every day; that's not what my rant is about. It is about women coming to tell me how work is 'honourable' and 'the right thing to do' when they're living in a detached 17th Century cottage in Bucklebury (yes, that Bucklebury) and they've got other halves bringing home a fortune. Anyone can tolerate a purposeless and tedious job when they are being paid shedloads to do it. I also don't appreciate the feminists telling me it's a great way of empowering their daughters by showing them that mummy can graft just the same as daddy. Babies don't give a shit about feminism, they just want their mummy.

But the thing is that babies become children who need social interaction with children of a similar age and one they are too old for baby bump etc, nursery is a great way to do that. And DS knows we have to budget because we aren't on good wages and live in a council estate in the middle of nowhere but that if I save I can afford to buy a new bike when he needs one and that is because I work so he know when he grows up that he wants to work so he can afford things too.

..I'm not resentful of women with glittering careers, by the way. I am in awe of, and greatly admire, the women on here who have worked hard and excelled at uni and PhDs and stuff to get where they are. I am hugely envious of that kind of success and don't begrudge anybody who has succeeded through graft and determination. I am where I am because I made some stupendously bad choices in life and became an alcoholic. Dropping out of uni just before I graduated was a consequence of that addiction and everything that has followed is a result of that too. It is what it is, but I resent being told that I should really just suck it up in this job because it's the 'right thing to do'.

What's tormenting me is the notion that this job with the council is probably as good as it gets for me. I am 43 with a baby and a shocking CV; an eight year gap of not working having been an alkie and a long criminal record. I do not look good on paper. I am grateful that someone has given me a chance of work, to be truthful, although I still feel I'm being exploited. I just want someone to tell me what to do instead of saying 'do what you feel is right'

Hi spinning well I tried to tell dr that I ovulate late but she didn't listen so I thought ok, ill have it done on day 21 like you've told me and you'll see ive not ovulated! Do you think I should change my appointment till after ive ovulated? Dunno what to do for the best

IMO I think you should try to work because Nancy won't always be a baby at home and you may not be given another opportunity to start working again if policies change and Councils aren't trying to give more jobs to unemployed people with little prospects. I did a placement in a council in 2010 and they then gave me a job, whilst doing a course and my career may only have progressed slightly since then and my wage only increased by £3k which isn't fab but it is better than nothing. Which means that this time round I get a maternity package so I may actually be able to do things with the baby and not just walk around with my pram like I did with DS.

Anyway...what is everyone up to today? The preggos will be wafting around in all their glorious pregnancyness, refusing to eat paté and weaving lentils I will be sowing cornflower seeds and planting pompom dahlia tubers and seeking part time work...

If you wanted an opinion if not - just do what's right for you

Mummy, I appreciate your input and I think you're probably right, which is why I said this opportunity is probably as good as it gets (my job only rises to £17k anyway; this isn't a job for climbing the career ladder, which I don't want anyway).

During a slight spat with DH yesterday I yelled that, in the not-too-distant future, the Benefits Agency will be kicking him off his sickness benefit and lobbing him onto JSA where he will be forced to find a job and then I can stay home with Nancy 'like it should be!' His reply: 'Fine. I'm happy to go to work. But don't think for one minute I will be working some crappy job just to pay for a bank loan for your IVF.'

Morning everyone,

I will read back in a bit, I took my bbt for the first time this morning, going to try really hard to do this , only thing is the bleeping woke up oh, I took my temp an hour later than i would normally do but found a temperature adjuster ,

Oh Purdie grr! sorry he said that - if he gets a job that has progression opportunities he may be able to afford the ivf which is for both of you!! - unless you bump off your parents of course

Oh and I hate pâté anyway

Rainy, don't use the temperature adjuster, it's not accurate.

Mummy, me too, it looks like dog shit. Oh and 'Pa hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!' at DH being able to land a job with opportunities. His CV is worse than mine

Purdie it does! Bleurgh!! Oh well, if not then he should speak to the bank!

I hate pate too, and swordfish (?!)

Dh has been swanning around this morning claiming he upduffed me because he grew a beard. Apparently the beard made him more manly and must have increased his testosterone. Wtf?!

I'm off to get my locks chopped off for an extortionate price. Happy Saturday people! X

Purdie should i use the temperature that i got when i took it, or just start a fresh tomorrow ?

Who really eats swordfish?! Stupid thing on the list.....

I'm off to soft play today for my friends 2yos birthday. And getting my glasses from specsavers. Cause I do my contacts through them, I managed to get a par of sunglasses for a tenner!! Haven't had prescription sunnies since I was little. But it's not sunny enough to wear them - may stick them on anyway.

Chops! I never answered your message to me on fb about hair! I'm so sorry. I cut mine every six weeks otherwise I lose the gamine pixie effect and start to look like Julie Andrews in The Sound Of Music I love short hair, it's so liberating.

Rainy, I would start afresh tomorrow and ignore the protestations of your DH

Mummy, yesterday's meet-up with DH's son and his foster parents was held at Rascals. I almost had a panic attack when I entered; I loathe those places: all the gaudy primary colours and protective matting and yelling tots and ill-educated staff. Not to mention the pervasive stink of lard and coffee coming from the food area. Ghastly. I've never watched a clock quite so intently.

Rainy, I don't use the temp adjuster anymore. I really done think it's very accurate. Just make a note if you wish that you took it earlier/later.

Purdie, as you've said some one should tell you what to do then I think you should finish your placement. I know you hate it but it would give you new skills and would look good on your cv. I appreciate it's easy for me to say this, I gave up a very boring job and I was getting paid for it! It was super busy and you'd think the time would pass quickly but every minute felt like an hour, I couldn't understand how everyone else working there could be so happy and jolly when it was the dullest job ever! But will it really help you if you stay for the 8 weeks if you're going to look for a little job in a garden centre or shop then what benefit will the computer stuff be? I think your personality will get you the job hmmm now I'm not so sure you should stay there......I'm no bloody help at all am I

Thanks Purdie, I have agree with what spinning has wrote, if you do see out the eight weeks, that is something worthwhile to put on your cv, and will help you to move on to a job that is more suited, I totally get you your reason for not continuing the job after the 8 weeks as the money is rubbish and you will not be bette of financially, If you can stick it out it will be good to have on your cv,

Purdie, 49 and pregnant!! That's too old for me, I've given myself until the end of the year and then I'll except it's not going to happen. Not sure if I'll feel the same when I get to the end of the year though!
Yes I saw your FB post, I was chuckling at the replies! There's no way I'd go back to work to be £48 a week better off in a job I hated.

Purdie I love soft play and normally spend my time chasing the kids around and throwing them down the scary slides. I will be safe this time and sit on the side chatting with my friend.