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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Bumsnetting Angry Pubes

999 replies

juneybean · 22/04/2015 12:22

Mass piss on a stick commencing Saturday!

If you don't get a BFP then you can't sit with us!

###STATS###

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12
ethelfleda · 25/04/2015 00:14

Thank you eskimo I would imagine that would put your collective backs up! That is definitely not me... I doubt I even am 'upduffed' as you so eloquently put it Grin

purdiepie · 25/04/2015 00:15

Which hole did you use?

eskimolaura · 25/04/2015 00:16

Well that'll learn me for trying to be nice. Now that's proper grammar innit?

ethelfleda · 25/04/2015 00:17

Not sure, it was dark and I was pissed... Not even certain if it was my other half to be honest. It could have been anyone. Might have even been one of my many, many sex toys. I don't think you can get pregnant by using sex toys... can you?

ethelfleda · 25/04/2015 00:19

eskimo I honestly got the niceness of your post... I actually really did! Just didn't want anyone to think I was one of those people what done those 'orrible things B4 ennit.

purdiepie · 25/04/2015 00:25

Depends what kind of sex toy. A butt plug ain't never got no fucker in t'family way.

Nomio230 · 25/04/2015 00:27

I am suddenly seeing the immaculate conception in a whole new light!

purdiepie · 25/04/2015 00:29

Sharing the bath water with your grandad after he's had a wank can be quite dangerous. Especially if he's still in it.

ethelfleda · 25/04/2015 00:29

Is a turkey baster classed as a sex toy? Did they have those in biblical times?

purdiepie · 25/04/2015 00:32

No they did not have turkeys in biblical times. Only camels.

ethelfleda · 25/04/2015 00:35

You'd need a massive device to baste a camel.

purdiepie · 25/04/2015 00:39

True dat.

purdiepie · 25/04/2015 00:40

So what names have you chosen for the baby?

Sparkly123 · 25/04/2015 01:10

Right! Here's goes! I realise I'm replying to things from 11hours ago...!! And you will all now be asleep but I wanted to catch up so when you all awaken at some god forsaken hour you can see my replies! this has now taken me over an hour and a half to compile catching up with you lot...chatty bunch! Smile

Mummy oh PUPO one! How are you?! How's dh?! Such an exciting day for you!!! So pleased for you and just reads Purdie opinion of your chart- hilarious! Congrats on car sale!! What a great great day!Grin

Lucie the TWWbegins sweetheart! I shall absolutely keep you in my prayers! I know this next two weeks you are gonna need distractions so I hope you have plans in action! Safe journey home tomorrow, hope you are feeling ok! So exciting! Frers at the ready! The pics are amaZing, it must be mind blowing to see it all right before you! Magic!FlowersStar

Juney oh love. Sorry for bfn!!!! Give it a few days let's see what happens. Hope lovergirl is keeping you occupied! Wink

Purdie you have a DVD?! Wow! You know you can alter the format to watch in uk right?! So glad little NDolly is much improved!! Warrior that she is! Thank you so much for the info on yolk sac etc. I had no real idea about any of it so it's def helpful. I think I was panicking earlier because I thought I was further than they were estimating so was worrying about things not being right. I need to just chill a bit now...you all must have thought- what is this girl complaining about of course she ain't gonna see a heartbeat! Due to Trunchpants, the fact I'm so clueless and thought I was further than I am, I think I had my expectations wrong..now I know what I should be seeing at this stage and that I'm less than I thought I feel much more confident! think im gonna look into scan for next week like you said. Thanks so muchFlowers

Boris any improvements today?? And is dh looking after you? Oh just saw you argued!! Urgh! Sorry lovely. Hope Tomor is better. Flowers

Pikz and you lovely? Any better? Thanks so much for that link!!Flowers

Nomio nephews are the best that's hilarious! Essay sorted? how did docs go? Referral updates? You are never gonna be left here lovely! I'm staying forever for a start.. Ha! And you are well on your way now.. Plans in place, it's all looking positive for you love. You too Sammy you are also moving closer to your baby, your app is soon yeh?Flowers

Woolly wooo for joining temping brigade! Wink

Rice sorry for your rubbish day! Hope Tomor is better!Flowers

Glittery AI or dtd night?! HaGrin

Purple hope OV pinpointed soon!Smile

Dizzynorth new thermometer needed lovely!!Confused

Eskimo such quick sperm results ! Great all in normal range ! Star

Pixa how's things with you today love?Flowers

Oyster hope AF stays away!! Your favours sound lovely!!Smile

Thepug how are you? I haven't seen any updates from you on how things progressed? Sending so many positive thoughts to you. So sorry you are going through this. It will get better and your BFP is not going to be far away I know it.Flowers

Spinning night out Tomor! Woo! Where you going?! Wine

Sunny hope those legs are shaved!
Wink
Froggy wooo for minor spotting stopping!!back in the game! Oh bollocks .. Sorry, I see it's stop start .. Keep strong lovely! As I've proved twice now .. Spotting doesnt necessarily mean no BFP! There's always hope my lovely. We are all here for you Flowers

I'm sorry if I missed anyone.
You lot fretting about me today, sorry about such a delay for update!BlushFlowers You are all so lovely thinking of me! My mum was the same.. I turned up at her house after 3 and she said she thought I had been away and whisked in for some procedure as she hadn't heard from us! Our hospital has no mobile phone service or 3G network either Actually none. How rubbish is that?!
I can't recall who asked what but- no epu didn't reassure me about bleeding etc. They pretty much said it could go either way. I had myself as six weeks Tomor and they say scan as 5+2 which is slightly less obviously but they said doesn't mean 100% accurate. They just sent me away with a leaflet that dh tried to hide from me in the waiting room as it detailed the four different types of mc! Not ideal reading for keeping a positive mindset! We had the same old debAte again about January with them too... Joy! Apparently a chemical isn't a pregnancy at all..?! Oh right ok love.
Can I just reiterate what I said to Purds so you don't think I'm an ungrateful idiot!... I think I was panicking earlier because I thought I was further along than maybe I am. You all must have been like eh what planet is she on?! of course she ain't gonna see a heartbeat! Well i know that now.. but because of what Trunchpants had indicated I could expect today and as I thought I was six weeks -having no previous pregnancy experience- I think it all worried me when I came away feeling confused from yet another app where the nurse was rubbish and not reassuring in any way! I now know what I should be seeing at this stage and I guess my dates must be wrong so i feel less worried.. Sorry for coming across like raving looney!
Blush

Oh and ps. Can't believe I was the most rock and roll of you lot tonight.. That's hilarious. You need to up your game. When the girl who is pretty much a hermit is out on a Friday and you are all in it's time to have a word .... Ha ha Wink

Night night/Good morning for when you get this! Grin

Sparkly123 · 25/04/2015 01:12

Oh Dizzymerry also hope things are a bit less intense for you today been thinking of you Flowers

coffeenut · 25/04/2015 01:43

Just jumping on to give these Flowers to sparkly & read your update. I hope things keep progressing for you; it seems cruel to have to wait another two weeks, hopefully you can arrange an earlier scan. Sending positive thoughts x

DaisyDuckSW15 · 25/04/2015 05:51

Ladies, I've been utterly rubbish at trying to keep up with the bus this month. I had to get off for a while and switch to the "Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh! Ofsted are coming!!!!" bus as such...
It's been a stressful week although I'm very glad to get it over and done with and feedback was positive.

So, hopefully I'll have more time to check in here and try and keep up with you all.

I haven't managed to catch up properly, but just wanted to send sparkly some virtual hugs. I can't imagine the emotional roller coaster you must be on at the moment.

In my own TTC news, I'm going to start OPK kit tests on Sunday so getting ready for our monthly shagathon.

Queenbee30 · 25/04/2015 06:35

daisy urge to ofsted. Glad it turned out in the end, but SO stressful.

So BFN for me. Hope AF comes soon. Hate these unknown cycles Sad

Queenbee30 · 25/04/2015 06:35

*Urgh not urge!

Mummyofonesofar · 25/04/2015 06:40

boris why was DH an arse again?

nomio well done for getting your assignment in!

Purdey I think my biggest faults are being walked over and saying too little. I wish I could be more opinionated but this shyness is cripplin Grin hahahaha

sparkly this pupo one is fine thanks, you rock and roll Pupo one! But I got up to pee at 5.20 and forgot to take a stick then couldn't wee on demand at 6 for dp as he wants me to prove it with a 'proper test' before he keeps his end of the deal and throws away a pair of boxers that I hate - we made a deal they would go once I got a bfp. Yesterday was the best day Grin

It was quiet when I went to bed then I missed all the drama! I see we had a little visit. I searched the name as she has started threads yesterday asking when to test after drunken fumble with DP. So was on jsers, a buddy up thread, the April 2013 longstanding thread and her own so not a prank, just someone who clearly has no idea what a bfp from a stranger would do to longtimers on here. I see it was well handled though!

daisy I'm glad ofsted is over for you but yay for opks!

queen sorry for bfn Flowers

auxiliaryauroch · 25/04/2015 06:49

Wow sparks you ought be writing novels girl! Grin

auxiliaryauroch · 25/04/2015 07:15

Hi guys! I'm still semi absent from the threads at the moment. I'll be heading into the countryside for a week too with the plan being NO internet! Unlikely I'll keep to it, but since the connection will be shoddy I might just read rather than post.

auxiliaryauroch · 25/04/2015 07:20

Fact of the day. Positive opk yesterday! Four days earlier than aa-aaall my previous cycles postpartum! Grin I'm choosing to believe thinking that the soy isoflavones worked? Hmm if my cycle stays the same length then I'm increasing my LP from five days to nine which is a lot better, right? bites nails nervously

Yokyil · 25/04/2015 07:25

Babysitting the nieces last night, conked out after the fighting, it's like the bloody hunger games as to who gets to play on a tablet lost the will to live So thought I'd try and catch up before they are awake again

mummy big congrats for you!!! Grin
Sparkly I know being told another 2 weeks is unbearable but it's positive news the sac is there and slap bang on time. Praying wee one is growing inside. As purdie said if going a week early would settle you a bit then def do it-otherwise the extra week means you can hear a hb!!!
lucie fantastic news - fingers crossed for your baba/babbies!!!
juney any symptoms? When is AF due? Think I'll hold off til at least tomorrow to test...I'm scared Confused
Nomio what was your essay on?
thepug it's going to be a crappy weekend, but look after yourself and give yourself a lot of tlc. Hope you're being looked after Flowers
aux increasing that LP is the goal - another couple days more and it'll be perfect for a wee 'un to cling to for 9 months. Any side effects with the soy at all??

juneybean · 25/04/2015 07:31

Temp has Fucking plummeted here!

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