Viroids get your Miroid to stick his manjo in your fanjo and the jizz-bombs will go off! They're famous for their super support (and butter fannys), there will be BFPS...it's JSing 44!!

[Hobbit19]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

The link to Part 42 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2349170-Our-new-greeting-cards-are-here-Were-making-vaginal-butter-and-baking-in-a-sneaky-shag-from-behind-Our-skittletits-cant-hold-us-back-its-JSing-43?pg=1" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2356300-The-nice-weather-is-making-us-crave-burning-meat-on-an-outdoor-fire-maternity-leave-is-causing-headache-and-we-are-all-soldiering-on-as-the-heat-is-getting-to-us-here-is-JS-26?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found [www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies? HERE]]

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Dudettes.

I don't normally like sweets too much, but these cookies are fucking amaze balls.

My husband is going to get back tonight to find me sitting in the kitchen surrounded by crumbs, with chocolate all over my face, with me about 12kg heavier.

I think I might have just orgasmed from them.

Why can't we get pregnant by stuffing our faces with cookies?

So sorry to hear that 5hell

So sorry to hear that 5Shell I'm guessing it's the not knowing and the waiting that are so hard. Sending hugs.

5hell so sorry it's dragging on for you

I would finish that tub of ice cream and buy another one as if you haven't touched it. Then you get to share the second one too

Oven baked cod with cajun (or maybe jerk) seasoning and fresh salad here.

Can't decide between a banana smoothie with lots of spinach and seeds (tastes way nicer than it sounds honest!) or a mozarella, basil and tomato salad with lots of olive oil. I eat a lot during the day so my dinners tend to be smaller if you don't count the handfuls of revels and dorritos I sneakily shovel in

Just wondering, out of you viroids that have been on the TTC for longer than me (all of you seeing as my first go won't be for another 2 weeks), how many have stopped or reduced your booze intake and who avoids sashimi/sushi, rare meat etc?

If so, is it only during icing and the TWW?

Not that I'm planning a massive sashimi, rare fillet steak and champagne fest 2 days before I'm due to ice

I don't drink an awful lot in any case (maybe 2-3 glasses of wine a week) but when I have red meat I like it pink. Also got a huge thing for sushi and oysters. Obviously I wouldn't drink/eat the oysters during my TWW or if I knew I was pregnant...but I do have a special occasion meal coming up and wanted to know what your views were.

feathered I wouldn't worry too much until you've been trying 6months. then perhaps think about changing things. that said be sensible about it and avoid tww if u can but if u can't don't stress.

5hell so sorry

I'm on my way to ivf follow up appointment. I am expecting it to be disappointing!

I would advise not to act as if you are/about to get pregnant. It can take a while, so enjoy your life. But then out of all "dangerous" products I only eat brie. That's just my personal non expert opinion though.

Cor blimey, I bugger off for a few days and all he'll breaks loose! I so wish I had been around when that thread was posted, well would have been in there. For the record yes the titles are "in jokes" as in something discussed on the thread, but you horny bitches have been very welcoming to me!

Page 10 and posting stats... so late to the party!!

Wine
28
DS and 2 fur babies
MC Nov 2014 and ready to start trying again!

According to FF AF is due in 5 day, and then shagging shall commence!

5hell I'm sorry things are so rotten, big squeeze.

laa I love a good spreadsheet, well done!!!

Interesting point on the smear tests, I had one last week (booked it early as it was meant to be due during the TWOT) so glad I had it done!

Thanks lil and do hope the appointment goes well. Let us know how you get on.

My BF in RL has just found out that IVF is her only likely option. She and her DH have been together since they were teenagers and decided to get TTC last year... after no luck for over a year, they had some tests and she found out she has prematurely aging ovaries/eggs among other problems. Really feel for her, but on the plus side things seem to have moved pretty quickly. And she laughed when I told her this time next year, she could be the UKs answer to 'Octomum'!

I never realised how common fertility issues were until this year (when people I know started trying/when I started lurking on MN).

tail that must have been such a blow for her bless her. Yeah I didn't realise how common MCs were either, when I had mine it felt like this horrid thing that couldn't be talked about

Gouda - my period is due on Friday and I have a fairly regular cycle - think I may do a test on monday morning if it still hasn't arrived by then.
5hell - really sorry you are having such bad news it's a real pig and unfair that it's happened to you.
Feathered - the only change I am making to lifestyle is to take folic acid - so still eating everything and drinking moderately - even had steak tartare the other day - yum yum! With first DD we were away in hotel for weekend when I suspected I was pg - we got a free bottle of champagne in the package and I insisted I could drink it all as I didn't know for sure if I was pg (I knew!)

That's horrible Would, I really don't like the idea of having to keep something so emotional - and physical - a secret. Hugs Regardless of whether MC happens 4 weeks into a pregnancy or 4 months, it's still going to be a huge loss and something that Mum to be is going to grieve for. It's why I don't like the secrecy until 12 week scan rule... If I'm pregnant and MC, I'm still going to need/want support from my friends/family/employer (if poorly) and wouldn't want to feel as though I don't deserve to grieve just because I wasn't past 12 weeks

Feathered sorry about our friend. I hope there is treatment and they can have their much longed for baby.

Regarding telling before 12w or not - each to their own. We haven't told anyone about mc. I just felt like a wounded animal who wanted to hide in their cave licking their wounds and come out when it's all healed. I feel I can talk about it now, but not then.

Lil hope your appointment isn't completely disappointing.

Spotted pant snot yesterday. Planning to shag today. I guess I might be icing a bit earlier this month. Last month I've actually noticed icing pains or the first time, I hope I can notice them again.

nut how could you eat that?! Tom
feathered I only got my bfp a few hours before so no one really knew, but it was like nothing had happened with DP - not in a nasty way. But he just didn't have that emotional side to it

Tom?! Vom...

feathered from someone who has been ttc for a while I would continue as normal in the tww, within reason of course. I tend not to drink (don't drink much anyway) in the few days before AF is due but I love Brie and continue to eat that.

I didn't tell anyone I was pg and told only a couple of people that I MC. I would have hated telling everyone and then having to go through the pain of un-telling them. I also don't want people to know we are ttc, My mum knows and asked me this month if AF had arrived - I told her that if there was something she needed to know she would be told so to stop asking questions - don't like the pressure. I'm also at the age where people are constantly asking if we are going to have kids, I'm good at telling them I have a lovely furbaby in my life so why do I need a child, but at some point someone is going to catch me on an off day and get a mouthful.

Oh and it's chilli con carne in my house tonight - booked on gym class later and totally regretting it!

Hello all, Can I join in?

I have one DS who is 4 & starting school this year

TTC since August 2011

Cat that's exactly the reason why I don't like telling people something that is still a "plan" - not only TTC related, anything - looking for a job, buying a house, etc. Because so many people just don't think that if there was anything to tell them, we would already have done so. I know it's only because they care, but I just hate the pressure.

Welcome sea!

I don't tell anyone about ttc either, iv had a few people ask when I'm going to have a second and I just say I'm not sure yet. Not only do I hate pressure and questions, but to me saying "I'm ttc" = "I'm having regular unprotected sex" ad I don't like the thought of people knowing I'm having nookie lol

Carot and Cat agree, each to their own with when to tell. Just annoys me when people assume it has to be a secret and that it's such a risk telling people before. I've never been pregnant so I really don't know how I would feel either way so my grievances are all a bit theoretical! So sorry you had to go through MC though.

I'm also at the age (and now almost two years married) where people are starting to ask about children and keep getting harassed in a totally unfunny jokey jokey way by my FIL. I know he means well but it really REALLY gets on my nerves. MIL also drops not so subtle hints when she talks about mutual friends who "may be waiting a bit too long - she's nearly 33! She doesn't want to leave it so late. She might leave it TOO late" meaningful look at me Phhhhhttttt!!!!! Thank goodness they leave 200 miles away eh?!

Wish I had a dog so I could use the furbaby line. Sob.

Dh has told a ton of people we are ttc, I dont really mind as I think if they weren't warmed up they wouldn't believe we were pg until I was fit to burst! and i think it helps him get used to the idea (keen shagger, reluctant father)

had told a very few friends and boss we'd had a bfp, and it's been good to have a coupld of epople to talk to in RL, but I can defo see i wouldn't really want to tell lots of people id had MC

feather only changes I make are not drinking excessively, conception vitamins and eating relatviely healthily

hi sea hell if that's not a typo you've been ttc longer than me!

well appointment was as expected on the sense of "we don't know why you mc" but we can do our next cycle on my next cycle if we wanted to! we are probably going to wait until July for me to go on bcp so actual ivf cycle will be August. that gives us this cycle and next to ttc ourselves. need to fet back on the diet, do some s exercise and lose some weight!

ARGH to clarify - when I say it annoys me when people assume it should be a secret, I didn't mean the pregnant people - I meant people like my MIL who would say it's premature to tell people without having past the 12 week mark!

Didn't mean to offend anyone - just a bad post writer ;)