Halfway through my TWW and looking for company. Anyone in the same boat?

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I've still got about a week to go before I can POAS. DH and I have been trying for about 5 months, but I have very irregular cycles so it's all really hard to judge. I usually go about 2 weeks between periods so following that, AF should be due to arrive before the end of this week. But I'm thinking that would be too early to test and am very impatient! I've also been taking agnus castus this month on the advice of a medical friend so I'm feeling tentatively hopeful. Anyone around who wants to wait it out with me and not read too much into every symptom and definitely not take a test every day this week?

haquoi - I get what you mean! Glad you don't routinely wet yourself! It's bound to be on your mind with the date etc but I can't tell you how much I am hoping your symptoms mean a bfp this week for you. Xx
I'm twitchy too, even I know I'm out really I can't help but hope.
Had date night with dh tonight and a lovely meal out - feel so bloated - wish it was a symptom- not the fact I ate too much!
Dh has asked when we will know - I always play it down and stay vague about when I will test as I feel I put enough pressure on myself without dh wanting to know too. He seems happy with it like that. Although he has said he hopes I don't get too down if it's bfn - how can I not be too down?

Haquoi I hope you get your bfp this time (and all the other ladies too).

Diamond, I sometimes play it down too with dh because I don't want him to have the same disappointment. It won't lessen it for me if he's suffering as well.

Update is that it's cd 16 today and I take my last oestrogen supplement of this cycle (2 more cycles of clomid to go). I'm feeling twinges where I imagine my ovaries to be and they feel generally a bit sore. I'm taking that as a positive sign. I haven't detected any ewcm this time however.

Morning ladies. I'm out . Pre af spotting started today so it's game over. I feel utterly broken. I can't keep torturing myself like this every month. I'm sick of allowing myself to get excited then come crashing down. I'm not sure if I even want to ttc anymore as it is affecting my whole life.
Good luck to everyone- I really hope you all get your bfps - you all deserve them so much, I obviously don't. haquoi - cycle buddy - good luck for Saturday xx

Oh diamond, I'm sorry! You absolutely deserve your bfp, don't in anyway think you don't! I did a bit of searching online last night and a lot of people said reflexology kicked in after three or so months. Obviously its up to you as to whether you give yourself a rest, but please don't give up on yourself. Does spotting always mean AF for you?

finding twinges seem like a good thing. How long are your cycles usually? (as in,are you in yor tww)? Are you checking internally for your ewcm? When I started checking internally I found a whole heap of cm that I would never have known about! I have my fingers crossed for you.

diamond, I also reckon you should see you GP, they might be able to help xx

Thanks haquoi - your kind words are a help. I'm sat at work and keep crying. I knew it was going to hit me hard this month. I'll think about GP but I really don't think they'll help. I can't talk to anyone about this but you lot. DH has just said I need to relax more and it'll happen. None of my friends have any problems with conceiving so I'm lost and really upset.
Sorry for the me post.
I'm really hoping for you - any more symptoms? Xx

Diamond - I'm so sorry for you. It's a fresh blow every month and it's almost unbearable at times. How long have you been ttc?

Sometimes you just need to cry and let it out of your system. I hope you'll want to continue ttc. Everybody deserves the chance.

Thanks finding - I'm sorry I'm wallowing in self pity today. It is a massive blow and I just needed to share. Yes a good cry helps.
How are you doing today? The twinges sound a good sign, I'm keeping everything crossed for you xx

We've been ttc nearly a year now - I came off the pill in June 2014

diamond don't give up after a year. I think your dh might have a point about relaxing (easier said than done).

I'm feeling sore and very "full" around my lower abdomen. This might just be a side effect of the clomid though.

diamond, 'me' posts are all good :) Just allow the pain to come through, I don't blame you in any way. I think absolutely try your GP. They might be able to give you some support. Did you say you're 37? They say if you're over 35 you should seek advice earlier than a year, and you're well within your rights (regardless of your age) to get help from your GP. I've only been trying 6 months and already it's getting to me. And if they're not supportive, go to another one! www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2295.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=127

How have you kept going finding? That's really hard to have been ttc for 7 years.

I felt really dizzy today (I had to sit down while I was teaching one of my students. She looked very strangely at me), but I accidentally skipped dinner yesterday (ate half a chocolate brioche loaf instead ), and had a small breakfast, so I think maybe that was it. Now I've just got the weird taste feeling. Slightly tender womb as well, but I tend to get that before a period. My chemical pregnancy has completely put me off testing though, I feel no urge whatsoever, so that is a small relief.

Thanks finding. I hope the full feeling is positive for you.
haquoi - thank you again and thanks for that link. Yes I'm 37.
Your supportive comments are really appreciated.
Dizziness sounds a good sign, I know you don't want to get your hopes up but it does sound good. Yes it's good you don't have the urge to test yet too - makes it slightly easier to bear the wait

Wow. Just had my reflexology and am completely zonked! I definitely fell asleep during and tried to have a nap after, but couldn't, so am in that weird zone of not really able to be awake and work, and not being able to sleep. I'm boiling some eggs instead.

I think with ttc its about trying to find something else to focus on, isn't it? It's so all-consuming that there's got to be something as all-consuming to get in the way of it. Don't forget about the Sperm Meets Egg experiment diamond (although I completely understand if you're taking some time off). Look after yourself this evening, thinking of you xx

hi everyone ,- I'm sorry a lot of you are having a rough time.

diamond def see your gp. if you have been trying for over 6 months and had chlamydia or over 35 your gp can start investigations. it may be something simple they can sort for you

update for me. just ho e from gp - dh has pack to deposit his contribution to be checked for swimmers

I'm on cd4 near end of AF visit and I want to also try this experiment - on my phone and can't look up name - egg to sperm one

Hi Birchy

Absolutely do the sperm meets egg plan! There's more info about it here. I think you'll be one of the first, so you'll have to let us know how it goes! spermmeetseggplan.com/

How long have you been trying again? (Sorry I didn't understand the bit about your DH's swimmer, autocorrect?) xx

I came of contraception coming up 12 months but only really been actively trying for 7 cycles (this will b 7th)

gp investigations include looking at dh sperm aka swimmers sri for confusing

bless him he was so nervous going along today - gp was great though and was really good at putting us at ease

Trying to get some sleep but my stomach area is bloated and rock hard. It's the last day of my oestrogen supplement for this cycle (cd16).

The clomid is supposed to facilitate ovulation but I've still had no ewcm. I have absolutely no idea what my body is doing at the moment.

Thanks haquoi xx
Yes it is all consuming and finding something to focus on is good. I've had a lovely evening with my mum and her friend. Mum knows we're ttc and nothing is happening but she doesn't pry and to be honest it's been nice to have an evening not thinking about trying to pick myself up to start again and it's done me good.
Yes I'll be in the sperm meets egg plan -I can't give up - I would never forgive myself.
Thanks birchy - yes I think I will. Bless your dh, it must have been difficult but I bet you were pleased with him!
That sounds uncomfortable finding - I wonder if it's because the clomid is making you ovulate and there's some kind of (good) reaction going on in there - aren't our bodies a mystery? I hope it settles down for you soon

Morning all, haven't been on much this week as work has been crazy busy!! I've got my d21 blood tests this morning at 11am. Only got couple of work calls this am and a couple this evening so a long break during the day. DP is on earlies this week so alarm goes off at 4am so I'm shattered by about 9pm. Think I might have a bath and a nap if I can today to catch up on missing sleep.

No symptoms here still 13dpo except getting heartburn a bit more often than usual. Have been temping and its as steady as a chain of mountains but it gives me a start to next months data!!

How is everyone else getting on today?

Morning ladies
remember - what do those blood tests test for? 13dpo - when are you going to test? Heartburn sounds promising. I've never temped so don't have a clue about it! From what I've read if you af is due to start it dips below your coverline (whatever that is?!) but that's about all I know!

Morning all :)

finding that doesn't sound pleasant at all. Did you manage to sleep in the end?
How are you doing this morning diamond? That's great that you were able to have an evening off (and awesome you're doing the SPEM plan!) Has AF begun to visit properly yet?
birchy I hope your dh gets good results - I can see how that'd be nervewracking!
remember, bath and catching up on sleep sounds like a great idea. 4am is pretty darn early... Good luck for your tests this morning!

I tried to sleep yesterday after my reflexology, but just couldn't at all, but was so zonked I couldn't really work, so poor me took myself to bed and caught up on my tv series' . And then I couldn't sleep again, flashbacks of my DS's birth and us trying and failing to cremate him - we don't know what happened to his body. Not the kind of stuff you want to be mulling over when you're exhausted. Gah! Finally got to sleep around 1.30am, and only because I slept with my head at the bottom of the bed. So, reflexology had the opposite effect this time! But I suppose it's all good.

But the twitchy-ness is continuing! Symptoms-wise, I've got occasional distaste of smells... I've got numerous parcels arriving today - the BBT thermometer with okps and hpts, the she-oak and some music books that I thought - - my she-oak has literally just arrived! Hurrah! Anyway, so yes, I figured if I was paying postage, I might as well put some work purchases in there as well. So I've got at least that to look forward to. And I'm helping a friend move house on Saturday, so that'll take my mind off impending AF.

Has anyone else got AF coming in the next few days?

Morning haquoi
Sorry to hear about your lack of sleep and flashbacks to DS's birth. That must have been horrendous for you, I know I've said it before but I think you are amazingly strong in how you've dealt with all that xx
That all sounds good about your parcels and distraction good too
It's all very odd, af is playing tricks on me - I'm sure she'll be here in a bit - I can feel it. I've not had anything since some brown cm a couple of times yesterday - it's stressful - keep going to check. I didn't sleep well either - definitely an early night needed tonight!

Thanks diamond, it's really nice to hear that. I feel like I'm doing what I can to keep swimming and not drown, but the reflexology has given me such a boost that I feel like I can deal with these flashbacks and not be overwhelmed by them. It's great to be supported here by you and all the others - I've not really been able to find anything elsewhere, so thank you all!

To quote your words back at you: that brown cm starting and stopping yesterday sounds like a positive sign, even if you don't want to get your hopes up. Let's both test Saturday if AF still hasn't made an appearance? (I've actually been toying with leaving it another week if there's no AF because my not thinking positively has really worked and I'm now convinced that there's something happening just to make sure that anything happens I'm well past implantation... I'm going to be such a wreck when she turns up!!)

Sorry to hear about your flashbacks haquoi - the whole experience sounds trully traumatic.

remember I also have no idea what the blood tests are for. I hope you get the result that you want though.

brown it's so hard not to be secretly optimistic before AF makes an appearance. I hope it's good news for you.

I finally managed to sleep at about 4am. Luckily it's a bank holiday here today so I don't have to worry about work. My abdomen is still sore and bloated.

haquoi - I'm so glad the reflexology is helping you and you've got the support here
I'm trying not to get my hopes up - I feel like af will appear any second - I've been to the toilet a million times this morning to check - feel like I'm going mad! It will be very cruel when she appears.
If, and I really can't see it, there's nothing then yes, let's test together Saturday - we can hold each other's hand! Although I'm feeling far more hopeful for you than me - I want you to get your bfp so much