Our new greeting cards are here! We're making vaginal butter and baking in a sneaky shag from behind. Our skittletits can't hold us back - it's JS'ing 43!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

The link to Part 42 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2342663-We-let-our-miroids-tie-us-up-and-pee-while-were-in-the-tub-and-the-grads-often-visit-so-we-can-give-their-bumps-a-rub-Weve-a-syncro-pee-approaching-so-heres-hoping-for-a-BFP-filled-JS-No-42?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2344912-Our-super-healthy-fanjos-just-love-getting-their-five-a-day-but-we-draw-the-line-at-frozen-poopsicles-Were-the-25th-JS-Grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Oh jesus, that's maybe a little extreme Lil! He's just lazy!

He is a bit of a fucker though..
Generally, he's dreadfully kind and thoughtful. But since it's me asking for the sex, I think he's trying to push his luck a bit.

Classic example of man trying to be funny and missing the mark! I would be raging

my dh is so polite he asks for sex like a child its so annoying! just grab me and snog me ffs! lol
yeah maybe a bit extreme fluffy, perhaps just punch him instead then?

Let's not get started on DH/DP's bed manners or it might get ugly again!

Well Jelly, we really aren't impressed with Arya, what a meanie! Well done Tyrion, but not impressed with her at all.

ooh jel you've made me really fancy kievs now (healthy or naughty!)...mmmm garlic butter! we had tasty beef/noodle/chilli/soy sauce thing made by DH - healthy, but no chicken kiev!

fluff next time hop on for a few mins, then do a stylish movie-style roll-over so he's on top, moan a lot and tell him he's amazing and he'll never suspect a thing ;)

Pardon me La can you explain why you need to stop bcomplex when you get a bfp? Some of the supplements I take have megadose B vits in. I've cut back on them as had a feeling they wouldn't be good but interested in the science.

Tea was baked eggs and harissa potatoes with roast veg and cous cous. May have had a creme egg mcflurry en route home from Central London this eve.

Jelly I know you'll get your mojo back soon :)

just gx for you.

Hi sky!

There are small amounts of vit b in pregnancy vitamins so it is fine to have in pregnancy at that dose. It can also be prescribed to help if you're suffering from morning sickness, on advice from doctor.

When I spoke to my doctor about whether to stop taking my higher dose that I'd been taking for LPD they said they don't know enough about effects of higher doses on developing foetus. So advice I was given by doctor was to stop taking my higher dose b complex when I got pregnant as I would be getting what I needed from my pregnancy vits.

I was v anxious with first pg as I stupidly took just b6 for LPD rather than complex and carried on when I got bfp. That can cause imbalance and I still wonder sometimes if I was partly responsible for my mc :(

I have to say I did speak to a fertility specialist at one point who swore blind she had no knowledge of LPD, taking b complex to lengthen it or even taking eve primrose oil for ewcm. Then again she was the same one who told me not to ttc after mc as I'd be more likely to mc. She was the only person who's ever given me that opinion. By then I was already pregnant so she only succeeded in terrifying me more! Mc association and my gp both disagreed with her opinion and thankfully so did my body! I don't think much of her 'expertise' as a result and made a complaint about her.

Also apologies for the disclaimers but again please note I'm not a doctor - what I'm saying is based on my own research and experience with luteal phase defect. It worked for me and I conceived twice following starting to take b complex, having ttc unsuccessfully for over a year. My lp went from 9/10 to 11/12 in a month when I started it. Kato on grads also used vit b to lengthen lp and it worked. I combined that with stopping drinking heavily and using eve primrose to make ewcm more obvious (if you take epo definitely stop taking that as soon as you get bfp).

If you have any medical conditions or take any medication do check with your doctor first. Mine said it wouldn't do me any harm but didn't have scientific evidence to confirm it would work. When I said it had worked he was interested and said he'd look into it.

Morning shaggers. Got my mojo back last night :) finally!

honey it was a bit mean of her lol! But in the books it's a bit different how she leaves him (plus I don't think he's dead). What did you think about the fight between the mountain and Oberon? It made me want to throw up lol. I also felt sorry for Jon snow.

Can't wait for season 5. Starts Monday!!!

oooh roll on monday! i think the mountain/oberon fight would actually make me puke today; was hoping he was going to be a new long-term character (haven't read the books yet, he's pretty handsome and liked his kinky ways) but alas more death!

yay for mojo jel

I'm hanging around waiting for drs to open so I can pick up a pregnancy pack...

Morning all. DH redeemed himself from being a complete and utter arsehole last night when he rolled over deep in his sleep at 9pm, he works unsociable hours and gave me a hug and a kiss and said I love you Fluffy. It wasn't a shag, but today is a new day. DH is also playing tennis, so I feel there may be excuses coming from that.

Anyone else's DP hard to get in the sack excuse the pun ? Surely it's the men that should be easy, and not the other way around!

My DP is easy to get in bed fluff but there's a couple of gals on here who have men who can be a bit reluctant at times. Mine has the libido of a 16 year old lol

Mine likes to make out he has the libido of a 16 year old but if he has "too much" he starts turning me down as he's tired, bless him the poor little thing. Light weight ;)

Hoping to at least shag EOD with a possible extra thrown in on ovulation. Bet he will go on strike the rest of the month lol

Jelly we were surprised stannis showed up, but glad. Felt like the wall had some tactical problems though, plenty of things that could have been done in advance that would have made life easier. They need to sort that for next time.

Was a shame about Oberon (and gross!) But knew it would happen the moment he stuck his spear in then ponced about rather than cutting his (mountains) throat. If the horror movie cliche is "don't go upstairs" then GoT cliche should be "check the bastards dead first!"

I though Arya was bonding with the Hound. I really liked him, and actually cried put when he went over the edge. Not sure why Arya didn't intervene to stop the fight tbh.

Also felt very sorry for the dragons. Not their fault drogon is a murdering arse.

Fluffy my dh is quite good but can't go to many days in a row so I need to pace him.

*cried out, not put.

i seem to have walked into the got thread, can someone give me directions to the jsing thread :P

temp dropped this morning so the lines must have been evaps. AF will be here later this evening or early tomorrow morning I reckon. I'm OK with it though.

Sorry Lil! I've seen it all now so all caught up.

Sorry your temp has gone down.

OK, so I was OK until dh decided to have a full on convoy about it all. he sees paying for another ivf as a waste of money. I feel like we are never going to have a baby. he keeps telling me to think of something good like our new house. I refrained from saying "the house we bought for our twins to live in". tink how have you done this for so long. I'm about ready to give up now. adoption isn't even an option as dh isn't keen and can't be bothered because it takes too long. aghhhhhhhh. sorry. brick wall moment

convo not convoy

lil is he just having a wobble?he's bound to be disappointed too by temp drop today. Perhaps this is him trying to protect you/himself from more heartache. Perhaps have a proper chat about it later?

Unicorn saved ready for frer delivery (tesco better not have substituted) but im not really feeling optimistic. Got a dragging pain in my tummy that feels rather familiar.

nah he's said this all along. I guess we can't really make a firm decision until after the appointment. I best get out of bed and do some work.

good luck with the frer! I was majorly crampy with my bfp and it stopped as the hcg dropped so I reckon the familiar feeling is a good sign.

lil sorry you're going through this. Maybe he's just having a wobble and needs to a bit of time?

Thank you for your thoughts on 5:2. I would argue that it's not a healthy way to lose weight though, as it was "invented" to promote longer and healthier living. It has to be done properly though. But yes, there does seem to be limited research on its effects on fertility, so I'll need to have a think.

The issue is, it's the only thing that has helped me to lose weight so far Although I'm not overweight, but I'm not at my happy weight either iyswim.