Our new greeting cards are here! We're making vaginal butter and baking in a sneaky shag from behind. Our skittletits can't hold us back - it's JS'ing 43!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

The link to Part 42 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2342663-We-let-our-miroids-tie-us-up-and-pee-while-were-in-the-tub-and-the-grads-often-visit-so-we-can-give-their-bumps-a-rub-Weve-a-syncro-pee-approaching-so-heres-hoping-for-a-BFP-filled-JS-No-42?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2344912-Our-super-healthy-fanjos-just-love-getting-their-five-a-day-but-we-draw-the-line-at-frozen-poopsicles-Were-the-25th-JS-Grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Suck go cover?
facepalm

I'll vote Galway cat

Aux!

I know, I'm just kidding! I've actually done whole tour of Ireland and should know the cities but I can't remember!

La I think you can safely blame baby brain

sky I LOVE dodge ball! My gaggia was left for scrap when she stopped frothing my milk correctly.

Viroids ... I have a peculiar stabby pain on one side? Normal ?

fluff we must remember that these medical dramas pick only the most exciting/unusual/made-up story lines :)

EPU appointment is tuesday morning, they weren't keen to do it any sooner as might only be ~6 wks so would be hard to see anthing anyway. feeling ok i guess, worry comes in waves. when they say rest, do they mean dont go to work?

haven't seen dodge ball in forever....may plan a laxy weekend of old movies

Fluff is right. You can carry two babies of two different gestational ages, it's called superfecundation. It is thought to be quite rare, but some people are now theorising that fraternal twins who are different sizes may be slightly different gestational ages (differing by days or a week). It's hard to prove unless the twins have different fathers (which again has been documented in medical literature, but rarely).

La thankyou for the gentle hooyah. I think I needed it.

5hell glad you have an appointment booked in. Hoping it's going to tell you everything is fine.

Country stabby pain? Where are you in your cycle again? And how far to the side?

As for all the Ireland talk... I love Ireland! Planning on going next year as it's been a while fingers crossed... possibly baby's first holiday? Haha, wishful thinking! There are lots of beautiful places on the coastline, cat could be anywhere... Though did she say it was for work? Most likely Cork if that's the case.

I went to the doctors this morning. I have a gynae referral!

10 dpo on the right hand side two inches up

About two inches away from my middle

Try to ignore the stabby pains country. They are either a good thing, a bad thing or nothing at all. I had stabby pains in the side I iced in this month from about 6DPO until pretty much the day AF started. Didn't mean a thing. Can sometimes be a sign of implantation but also can just be your uterus preparing for AF or could just be a random twinge :)

Ain! Congratulations! This is a good week for you! Really hope its a productive referral!

Well as long as I don't Cark it then it's fine :) . It's just niggly stabby and never felt it before.

country non-ttc related options could be wind, apendicitis, pulled muscle, hernia...aren't I full of the joys of spring!?!? as long as you're feeling ok otherwise then it's probably nothing. it's incredible how hyper-aware we become of our bodies, i never used ot notice anything of interest before.

81 hr 37 min til GoT (not obsessed, just saying)

Thanks honey. It really is a good week for me. The only thing that could have made it any better would have been a bfp. But we can't have everything. Haha!

Country I was about to reply to your post, but Jelly has already done so nicely.

This is the last day of the Easter break for me... Time to catch up on all the work I should have done this week...

Well my first thought was I might be dying of appendicitis .....

Morning all!

Name: Gouda
Age: 30
TTC: first
cycle: 3? 2? DH can't agree when we started ttc...

Christ on a bike there is a lot to catch up on! I see we have some more BFP's!!! WOOOO!!!

I am on my new cycle now, AF finished a couple of days ago, so we shagged on wednesday. We have decided to go for every other day this month.

They are either a good thing, a bad thing or nothing at all.
This pretty much sums up all symptoms, pre post and during ov and/or pregnancy.

I get nausea and twingy tummy pains so much that I think if I didn't have "symptoms" I'd see that as more of a symptom.

I meant to write another 500 words of my dissertation tonight but instead I'm having a melt down about DH's job interview next week. I want him to get a job he wants but I really don't want to move across the country.

Aiming to dtd for the first time this cycle tonight. Bit concerned that I'm working funny shifts during the week so will have to stealth shag if I'm in with a chance this month.

Aux you’ve hit the nail on the head there! knowing that still doesn’t stop us symptom spotting though!
Country I tend to get stabby pains in one side when icing, but if you’re not at the right point of your cycle, then ignore them. I also get stabby pains when I need to let some gas out! So as the other viroids have said it’s probably not indicative of anything!

5hell glad you’ve got an appointment. And yes, I reckon “rest” means don’t go to work. Especially if work is a stressful environment. Take Monday off and have a duvet/DVD day! If your body is more rested, you’ll feel less stressed too, which helps your womb be a happy place –sending happy womb vibes! that's totally not creepy at all ;-)

Jelly It certainly doesn't hurt to at least have a look at the hotel, then you can decide together if it's right for you.
We went for a venue that did all the set up (and down) for us and provided the food, which took a looooad of the stress out of it. And we were still able to ‘customise’ the hall how we wanted, like table decorations, balloons, photos of us around the hall etc.
I’ve been to so many weddings where family and close friends ended up having to do the washing-up and were there till 3am tidying and cleaning! That’s not how we wanted people to remember our wedding, so we decided on using a venue.
But ultimately, whether you get a different date at the village hall, or keep the date and go with the hotel venue, it will be the best day of your life and looking back you will wonder why you worried so much about making it perfect. But at the time, all the details DO matter!
At least if you go and see it, you can make an informed decision, rather than thinking about the “what ifs”.
Here's hoping you both feel the same after seeing it!

Pickle where is the job based?

Af started this afternoon three bloody days early. Whilst I was at lunch with my very pregnant sister, who I sobbed all over

Sorry just