We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

whoa whoa whoa

i come back after watching a few episodes of house and you ladies are going piss-on-stick crazy! Stop this 10DPO pissing malarky or we'll have to drag some of the grads back to give you all a stern talking to!

look, I haven't poas early for 12months ivf excluded so I'm allowed a slip!

I'm just impatient got no other excuse!

Jelly, what are we going to do?! They're going crazy! and no grad would dare tell Lil off

Ha ha Jelly I knew you would be cross! I tried to keep them in line in your absence but to no avail!

Another period question viroids (massive giggle at my phone changing that to virgins) when do you put down on your app that your period has finished? No active bleeding but browny reddish on wiping for a day or so usually, so do I go from when the bleeding stops or from when I have nothing at all

wine I don't tell my apo when it stops, I mark heavy, medium or light flow or spotting.

*app!

wades in what's going on here then?

Lildottie! use of full name to signify I mean business don't you know viroids look up to you as the voice of reason? Yeah I know you're probably pig sick of the role as you've had it too long but you know you'll drive yourself batshit crazy by testing early. all my gingers are crossed and the pom poms are out

on my side i've got very very light bleeding, but it is red, so I am counting this as a totally fucked up cycle. I did some reading on implantation bleeding just to check (was never hopeful) and it says it's not painful and never red, so I guess I am out.

I can't believe it though. A twenty three day cycle? That's totally abnormal.

25 days has been a rarity for me, so 23? 23????

What have your cycles been previously good?

26,26,25,26,27,24,26,25 and now 23.

I considered the 24 day cycle a bit odd - normally I vary by one day max.

For this cycle we would have been having sex every single day in my - what I am now bitterly referring to as - fertile "window".

My OH just got back and said "wow, your periods already? 23 days? Isn't that really short for a normal cycle?". I just burst into tears.

Not sure what to say to that really.

What the crap. You viroids have gone rogue. Anyone got any tips to sooth my molten nips? It's awful

Ok so it may be a little short but then the rest of them are on the shorter side. It's within 4 days of your longest so that's still classed as regular. It's probably just one of those things. Though mine turned up 3 days early last month so I know exactly how you feel! Cheated is the word I used

Gouda sounds like you're an early ovulator. you need to make sure u start shagging the minute AF leaves if u are t already. I'd also check out your lp just in case its below 10days.

lil - Thanks, that's what we were doing this cycle. On the last day of AF we started shagging, then carried on for over a week.

I'm not sure how to work out my luteal phase - do I have to start temping to work it out?

Gouda yes, you'll need to. Its number of days between ovulation and AF so obvs bred to know exactly when icing happened, so temp for a week or so, then we can work it out.

Thanks Pis

Jelly we are confused. Its gone from Red Priestess giving birth to a shadow to the youngest Baratheon being dead and his wife engaged again... We haven't missed an episode as far as we can see. When did that happen?!

engaged again? she shouldn't be engaged again (yet). Who is she engaged to? And I take it you've not seen the battle episode yet??

We're on Season two. Sansa just got rejected after the fight at Kings Landing.

so the episode with the battle then?? when tyrion gets attacked??

Yeah. Well the one after now. Khaleesi is wondering the tower looking for her dragons.

But Stannis (is it him? With red priestess lady) is talking about having killed his little bro, and the flowers knight bloke is pouncing around... Last we remember Stannis was telling brother he had the night to think over his claim. Then suddenly Tilda Swinton lady knight and lady stark are back with Robb, little one is dead and we're a bit confused!

I've seen all of GoT. Its my fave!.
As you were.

So does it happen off screen? Did we miss something?

Think you might have missed an episode yeh because you do see stannis's little brother get killed by the shadow