We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Morning Viroids, I need some cat advice! We got our two cats (Mum and Daughter) about 4 months ago. Mum is now about 15 months old and kitten is about 7. (Yes, Mum was a teenage pregnancy statistic!). Anyway, through one thing and another we have only had the little one spayed 10 days ago and they are now both chipped, which means that they can FINALLY go outside. Both loving it, but little cat has never been outside before. We moved the litter tray to just outside the back door and she is seriously confused! I've shown her it loads of times and whenever she comes in to look for her tray in the corner I take her outside and show her the tray there (hoping that she will eventually migrate to the garden). However, she is totally confused by this bless her! So far she has only pooed when I brought the tray just back into the kitchen (ie not outside), and last night she did a poo under the kitchen table! Any advice?

Pud give her time she'll get there. I'd recommend having tray both inside and outside for now - or just tray inside. She will gradually start to use the soft soil etc outside rather than tray, but it might take a few weeks. I keep trays inside for my two anyway coz they are in at night. They toilet outside during day.

Also outside is still new and scary so she'll prob feel more secure inside just now to do toilet. Once she's worked out territory she'll use toilet to let other cats know

As la says, she'll just need time. Two trays is ideal, or sprinkle some litter in a patch outside. It'll take her a while to feel comfortable in the garden.

Ah okay, thanks very much, I'll put her tray back inside and let her figure it out herself. I think she must be weeing outside as I haven't seen her do one in the house! (Or I just haven't found it yet!)

She will be doing it when you're not watching - crafty cats!

Cat talk! one they are tricksy buggers. For our kitten, she would still rather come in to have a wee. She goes outside to play but will come back to go to the toilet. She's a minx but we just go with it and she's coming up on 18mnths now! Two trays is a good idea though.

Lids are great ROCs fallen! Mine was a cotton wool bud tublid, much easier shape for catching the vital FMU which can be all over the place if you're sleepy!

Sorry about the TTC sads jelly and honey. It can be a all-consuming sometimes that it is completely understandable it will be harder some days than others. Just do everything you can and get all the help you need from the medical people.

Will you get a day off at least lil? Don't need the stress of work as well as everything else!

Hopefully chocolate weekend will make you all feel better!

Right, the deed is done. Dh has gone to meet his mum for lunch and I've gone back to bed.

I stupidly put into a due date calander if I got unduffed having iced today, just out of curiosity! Christmas Day!

I've never done the whole tww thing before but I can already tell its gonna be unbearable. I'm the most impatient person ever.

La and jelly I reject your hooyah's!!! Considering the number of temping charts I see on here despite it being contraband, I consider testing three days early a minor infraction!

Plus to be honest, since it's a friday and a bank holiday weekend we will be no doubt drinking at a dinner party we are going to, and I wanted to be doubly sure that I wouldn't need to worry about it. Basically, it was a calculated move so I can tell DH he has no need to worry when he gives me the raised eyebrow when I pour myself wine!

Someone was saying they were a few days late - sorry I didn't write the name down and that's the only way I can remember if it's not on the same page I'm writing on - DO A TEST!!! How exciting!!!!

AF is not being kind this month. Bleugh

DH is really good at taking care of me though. What a sweetheart.

honey Urgh, sounds like a nightmare. I hope your DH has got some hot water bottles on standby, and a mountain of paracetamol!

la 9dpo today.

Gouda I don't know what u are talking about, none of us have charts!

dulcet no days off here, downside of working for myself, but hopefully I can gave weeks and weeks off later in the year

as for chocolate weekend, not here. on the high protein low carb diet to give us best chance for natural bfp or to be ready for next ivf except dh bought me a strawberry white chic chip muffin last night

(Runs in to stir the crazy)

So fallen, if me, you, cat and ewu, all iced yesterday..... and there is about a 25% chance that you will get upduffed if you dtd at the right time..... then chances are one of us will be having a Christmas baby!

(Cackles evil and slightly manic TTC laugh, MWAH HAHAHA, and runs away again)

I have a special bean bag dog thing. I don't bother heating him up, just wedge him under me and roll up in the duvet in my patented "period position". Then lots of drugs and drinks with straws and we're in business. Will shortly emerge, going to lunch with parents.

Oh wow 5hell are you going to POAS tomorrow then? Gx crossed for you! We need that BFP!

mae congrats on the flat purchase!

Well done fallen! Hooyah for you though for checking out EDD. I would be due on the 19th if I get a BFP

Sorry AF is being a bitch honey. and helps!

I didn't look it up but ovia helpful told me I'd be due 22 nd dec. ovia is fuelling the crazy!!!!

Lil what do you mean by 85%? Is that a" 85% been trying that long get preg soon" sort of thing? Give me hope!

Thanks Carrot. Mum's made pavlova apparently. drool

:O my first hooyah?! Gosh, I feel like one of the JS family now ;)

I really do hope we see a bfp here soon.

I like your statistical analysis there pud!

honey 85% of couples conceive within the first 12m, then something like 95% within 2years. I'm in the last 5%

Ummm.... BFP here

cannot believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:O 5hell brilliant! Give us all the details ever please!

and for everyone with a mean AF and gx for everyone icing at the mo...JS, JS & JS some more

many thanks for all the gxs here -they worked!

link honey

congrats 5hell, about time we had a bfp....stats please

Congrats 5hell

Like the stats one I'm determined this will be my month, conceived in this month last year (had a edd of 2nd Jan) plus both me and my brother have birthdays within 7 days of Xmas so there is definetly something fertile in the month of March/April in my family not crazy at all honest

YEY!!! That's brilliant 5hell! Well done, all the bunnies for you . How are you feeling? About time we had a Bfp!!!!