We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

honey!
I'm having goats cheese right now, so up with cheese!

oh fuck it honey :( sorry gal.

Sorry AF got you honey
enjoy your cheese!

jelly no they are not, but normally within an hour or so of each other. But also not with three hours of solid sleep. Whatyagonnado, eh.

just worked out this i cycle #9 for me since AF returned....

Sorry AF got you honey enjoy the cheese x

I'm cycle 9 since mc and 14 in total. FFS when is this going to happen for us all?

ain Porec is where I am going - look at Santorini or a Greek Island cruise! santorini is lovely x

Ain I second Riva Del Garda, went there as a last family holiday before my Mum passed away and it's given me such amazing memories. Gorgeous place, lots to do but still the opportunity to relax and great food. If you go in July/August I think it overlaps with the Verona opera festival so if you could get tickets you could go and see the opera there which is simple awe-inspiring (even for a cultureless heathen like myself).

Honey Sorry to hear about the witch but glad you're going for some goats cheese. Make sure you have lots of other naughty bits to soften the blow. Does goats cheese go well with sushi and champagne?!

Jelly I get why you're feeling crap. This whole TTC thing is heart wrenching at times. I do exactly the same thing with getting my hopes up. It's only been 6 months for me so far, but it's really starting to get tiring. I have massive respect for everyone who manages to hold it together (and doesn't cry into their cat like I do).

Still no sign of AF for me. Was due on Monday/Tuesday. Had a BFN yesterday (again), so I've decided I'm going to leave it for a few days. I think my body has just got fed up and has decided to completely stop working for this cycle. Bloody DH is away for lots of work things over the next month too, so that's probably me out for next month as well.

Having a bit of a disastrous day. Managed to faint while loading the dishwasher, I smashed one of my favourite plates and now have a huge red bump on my forehead. This is a reason for me never to do housework again, yes?

I've just been to see the doctor as I have a small growth on my leg which is getting bigger - she has urgently referred me to specialist at hospital to check for cancer I feel strangely calm about it, appointment will be in next 2 weeks. What's worrying me more is ttc, I am highly fertile right now, already shagged once with more shagging imminent. Do we continue and hope all is ok, or wait until I hopefully get the all clear.

do you often faint pickle?! not implying it could be a symptom of course

sunshine that doesn't sound good - have you tested your blood pressure? Try and get to your GP - fainting is always something you should be getting checked out. You know what they say though, you're not out until you're out.

Honey I know for a FACT that champagne goes with everything, so if you can, maybe have an awesome dinner tonight with everything you wouldn't be able to eat otherwise. PATE. CHAMPAGNE. TIRAMASU. MORE CHAMPAGNE!!!

My pregnant friend was saying the other day that she has had absolutely no symptoms, and is grateful, although she worries about it (she is 5 months now). She also said she doesn't miss anything, doesn't have any food aversions and nothing makes her feel ill smell/food wise.

If she wasn't such an amazingly wonderful person I would be tempted to punch her in the face for being such a jammy cow!! Luckily, she is awesome.

oh no black that must be terrifying! gx it's all clear for you!!

pickle are you ok? fainting isn't good is it??

BlackCat so sorry you're having a scare. I would say stay optimistic and positive and keep ttc, most lumps etc do not turn out to cancer

Cat that sounds pretty scary. We're all here for some hand-holding. Is it a mole? Often even if they are dodgy they can just whip them off quickly and relatively few need other treatment.

Jelly, Gouda and 5hell I faint all the time if I go too quickly from being head pointing downwards to head pointing up. All my medical friends are particularly unbothered, although I think DH is considering making me wear a helmet and not allowing me to touch things. It only seems to happen at home so work must send my blood pressure sky-high.

Eep Mrs BlackCat, well done for being calm. Like others have said these things can normally be whipped off quickly and then all done. My Bro has a dodgy mole on his back. He had it checked at the hospital. They called the next day to say to come straight back in to have it removed. We all totally shat ourselves that the hospital was so concerned and it just turned out that they weren't busy! Mole off, end of story.

I have a lump on my leg that I had checked out by the docs about 5 years ago, it has recently started getting bigger though, was starting to wonder about it but now I'm thinking I should make another appointment with gp! (Goes to call doctors..)

My Dh had a leg tumour. It was completely benign, they whipped it out anyway and it's never returned or given him any trouble.

Sorry to those with bfn's and af

Goats cheese was great

cat go you for being so calm. I'd definitely try to continue on as normal. Dh had a lump on his pancreas in the middle of us selling our house/buying a new one. It was so horrendous and stressful but I'm glad we didn't back out of the sale because it turned out to be a haematoma and not cancer.

Hope you're ok pickle.

lil you were spot on, got a positive opk today, definitely as dark/darker than the control line. Totally worth peeing in a Vaseline lid all over my hand in the office toilet cubicle.

Should I keep opk-ing to try and judge potential icing and therefore have a vague idea of af arrival date?

Thanks Viroids - it's a small red bump on my leg that I've had for a couple of months, at first I just thought it was an insect bite but it never went and has started to get bigger, not huge just bigger than it was. Hadn't really thought much about it but showed it to DH who said I should go to docs. Went Tuesday but wait was over an hour so went back today, thank goodness. I'm sure it will be ok, I had a mole removed last year but that was just at GP surgery, so a hospital referral seems more serious. Gx all will be ok.

We are going to continue shagging, ttc is taking long enough without putting it on hold for something that hopefully will turn out to be nothing. Hopefully I will get double good news in a couple of weeks!

fallen we are cycle buddies +ve for me today too!

Loving the bunnies, especially the jammy dodger bunny.

Honey, hope you have completey covered yourself in goats cheese.
Does +ve mean you are icing fallen?

high five cat

pud I have no frickin idea. I'm very amateur at this, first cycle ttc. I guess it's a good sign but not a guarantee of icing. Opk's are indication that icing could happen in next 48 hours from what I've read yeah?

Fallen yes next 24-48 hours

ain it is spain, near grenada.

Sorry so many of us are feeling down all round

cat fx its nothing. Try and stay calm.

Ahh I see, okay, in that case we are cycle buddies too. Everything crossed for a pissy party in two weeks that we actually get to turn up to!!

Thanks ladies. Sorry for brief replies, I was at a friends house for a cuppa. Now adding the next layer to the blanket.

I think it sounds like we all need a glass or three of wine this weekend!