We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

country stop using ovia, I don't understand it! go and put this months data into ff and post that

honey I hope the bfn is wrong.

ain some ppl say ur more fertile after ivf and after mc so gx it's true for me. doubt it though. I'm probably making it all up in my head!

Didn't get to bed until after 0130 last night - I'm shattered!!!

Country I don't know anything about temping I'm afraid, so your graph just looks like the migratory pattern of a really really drunk bird to me!

Niff I was the one with the hot tingly boobs yesterday - I am 10 days dpo today, and I'm due my AF on Monday. I will pop out and get some tests later so I can use unicorn tomorrow or Saturday when I test.

Yesterday I was very optimistic, but today I am way less so.

Then again I was talking with a friend and she said she had pretty much no symptoms at all. She was a bit more tired than usual but that was it.

In summary, TTC sucks.

Hahaha! Lil those are hilarious!
Loved "skittletits" in no.5. I think we should make that a thing, like "I've got a serious case of the skittletits" for when they're itchy/sore.
Who's with me??

Skittletits!

ain sierra nevada was lovely at that time, lots of little pretty towns, or are you looking further afield?

Bitchgobblet potatoes on the menu tonight.

wine www.amazon.co.uk/20-Ovulation-Tests-Sensitive-Fertility/dp/B0071MSEH6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427959990&sr=8-1&keywords=ovulation+test

Just hypothetically you understand

Loving skittletits.

honey I really hope she doesn't show up!

just where is Sierra nevada? I tried Google and got a place in the states (guessing not that one as you said it was close by) a place in Spain and a place in the UK... One of them was a ski resort. Skiing is out as DH is boring and won't give it a try can you even ski in August?

I don't mind where in the world we go, but looking preferably abroad. Last year we had a lovely week in the Isle of Wight and next year we're planning on a trip to Ireland, booking a larger cottage and going with some of my family (and possibly a baby but let's see...) So yea, plan is to go abroad somewhere this year..

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2344056-The-Bumsnet-Angry-Pubes-Bus?pg=23&order=#prettyPhoto/0/

Morning miroids. This is in no way a photo of my ff chart which in no way shows off what a really fucked up temperature pattern looks like! I figure we all need something to laught at, occasionally. This cuntraband is it right now. Gx please for an lp longer than 5 days this time!

Ah link doesn't work does it. Here it is.

Ain How far abroad were you looking to go?

Within the EU, Malta, Croatia and Cyprus are all nice, and pretty beautiful. Outside of the EU, Japan, California, New Zealand and Indonesia are all well worth a visit. Especially whilst you are still able to travel child free!

Holidays.... Something I feel I know about!

ain what about Riva Del Garda on Northern shore of lake Garda. The weather will be nice there are lake side beaches and you can explore the other towns on the lake by boat or car?

I'm going to Croatia in July and we will be able to do a day trip to Venice from there - can't wait!

In other news got a peak on CBFM this morning - need to convince DH that shagging for next 3 days is a must! Also got all of the ewcm....

Just seen this

www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/nom-nom-nomonym?utm_term=.blYeYzqnz#.ybgZ2wqrM

Bedgasm is my favourite!

I was possibly looking at the idea of a cruise (we did a weeks cruise for our honeymoon, loved it, would love to go again). Caribbean cruise is looking out of our price range because of flights needed on top, but maybe another med cruise with different ports from our honeymoon (and possibly for 2 weeks this time) or I found a croatian cruise. We also loved Croatia when we went. cat where in Croatia are you going? We stayed in Porec, and we did a day trip to Venice also (where DH proposed, )

I'll look up Riva del Garda.

Another of our possibilities would be Vegas for a few nights and then somewhere like california for a few days? Will have to do more research and see if it's affordable but would like to do Vegas before kids..

Gx honey

Brilliant cat, you know the script - get shagging! Good luck convincing dh.

So I started work at 6am and won't get home til 10pm tonight. I brought an opk to work after my dark but not dark enough line yday, but nothing to pee in! Pfft. Might steal someone's mug...

Oh, and I would love to drive route 66 but seeing as DH doesn't drive I guess that one will have to wait..

I love bedgasm. That is a fabulous word. And internest.

ain what about a Scandinavian fjord cruise?

Oo-ooh or a Black Sea cruise? Lots of fab ruins and different cultural experiences at ports in different cities? Really interesting time for it too! although maybe skip docking in Crimea right now

morning viroids!

feel like shit today. pounding headache and really sick so think i'm coming down with something. Luckily the witch isn't being too harsh on me, hoping she goes away soon though.

feel a little sad today about ttc for some reason. brooding on the fact that this month i had a proper length LP and yet we still didn't get anything. I know we've got many months to go yet until we can seek any help, and realistically this is our first month with a real LP so a good chance, but it feels like we've been ttc for so long now it has just made me a bit sad. I was certain by our wedding we'd have our first baby, and now as each month ticks away it's looking less and less likely. We have 5/6 more cycles until we reach that milestone but i just can't picture it happening for us!

Sorry for the rant, needed to get it off my chest because DP wasn't interested in me moaning this morning.

honey sorry for the bfn but gx for you as she's still not here!!

aur those pre icing temps look a little bit mad! are you taking it at the same time each day?

ain how about somewhere like spain? the costa blanca is pretty cheap that time of year

Jelly I know what you mean about feeling despondent, but at least you are making progress? Your lp length continuing to improve can only improve your chances.

I've been really surprised by how powerless I feel since we started ttc. I mean, people can do charts and temping and whatnot, but really so much of it just seems to come down to sheer, blind chance.

Talking to a friend the other day who is pregnant, and she was starting to ask "so when are YOU guys going to have a baby"? She meant it in the nicest possible way, but it took everything I had not to just say "well. We've already been trying for three months, so - fuck knows?" As I mentioned last thread, she got pregnant totally by surprise, so I guess it just doesn't occur to her that that doesn't happen to everyone.

Jelly - Apparently we are both quite ranty this morning! What point is there in a conception thread if you can't bitch and moan though???

good morning!

Gouda your skittletits sound intruiging... no skittletits here, but feeling extra nauseous today

Fallen I have just got my smear invite, read somewhere they recommend speaking to nurse/dr before you go as different practices have different opinions on when/whether to do it when ttc. it's not meant to affect anything but I'd call and see what they think.

Ain i second Malta...sunny, amazing warm clear sea, lovely people, nice food, lots of history to see and you can take a trip to sicily too.

jel sorry you're feeling down today, maybe it's just AF bringing you down...get yourself a little treat to get you through the day, and try not to think about it too much. You know you ice, and have a decent LP etc so I'm sure you'll be pg in no time, esp as you seem to be v efficient at the cape-donning

lil that link got me laughing to tears...

honey you're not out till the witch appears in all its glory.

Speaking of all glory, has your AF gotten any heavier jelly?

Ain we went to Croatia too, to a village called Cavtat. It's half an hour drive/boat trip from Dubrovnik. Beautiful.

Scandinavian cruise sounds awesome too.

I had a really vivid dream 2 days ago that I was in labour, pushing in a birthing pool. For some reason it was inflatable although there was a normal one next door. The delivery room also looked like a room in my old house where I lived when I was little. Then I was also walking outside all naked with a huge bump, and I could feel and see the baby move and kick. I also had a very uncomfortable smear test

Totally convinced myself it's a sign I'm preggo but need a huge hooyah as I was only 4dpo

we can wallow in self pity together today gouda :) but yes, you are right there is a silver lining in that things are moving in the right direction. It's just so draining each month spending two weeks dwelling on getting that BFP and (for me) day dreaming about the future only to have it disappear when see red.

Although i can't imagine how many times worse it is for people who have suffered a MC, so I apologise if my sentiments above were insensitive :(

carrot she's heavier although my AF's have settled down these past few months to be a lot easier. My first few AF's after they returned were horrific, not painful just so heavy I didn't want to leave the house. I've never had heavy AF's so it was a shock for me, but thankfully the last 2/3 AF's have settled down to a much more managable level.

Still i'd rather she doesn't arrive at all the bitch.

Oh sorry jelly a load of post came up while I was typing!

Rant away. That's what this thread is for.

Have some and , whatever you feel you need to get through the gloom. And then as you get further into your new cycle you'll pick yourself up and be ready again. Promise!

Just been to aquablast at the pool good fun. Average age 60, but if you try to do everything perfectly its a really good work out.

Put a fanjo plug in anyway, just in case... Going to jump in shower now so will pull it out and see if AF is here or not. I feel a bit crampy so I'm sure she is.

She's here. Going out for lunch and eating goats cheese and tonnes of it.

Oh well. TTC#1, CD1, Cycle 10.

Crapsticks honey. Eat all the goats cheese!