We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

mae if your DH has good quality swimmers then every day will be fine for him, but if you suspect or know they aren't the best then EOD or 3 times a week is best :)

gouda have a glass of wine, just don't go mad

I believe there was a research suggesting miroids don't produce enough sperm if they shag every day. Which was then disproved by another research. Not exactly disproved, but I think they said it's individual for every miriod. I think. But I'm not a dr or scientist so feel free to ignore me.

I agree with pud re wine, Gouda. Gx sore boobs mean what we think they mean!

Thanks for the advice re EOD vs every day. I think we'll stick with EOD (or E3Ds) to start with and see how things go.

Pud Definitely make the most of being able to have wine while you can! If we're definitely not upduffed then the more glasses the merrier! within reason
When AF arrives you know it's definitely safe to have a glass or two twelve.
And wine & chocolate are the only things that keep me sane while mooching around feeling blergh during AF's visit, so I make the most of the opportunity during that week!

My lovely viroids I have good news. My prolactin level has almost halved so I am now very near normal range. I am also going to be getting treatment for my high prolactin to see if will help make a baby! Yay! Just got to try and get my prescription written out now so I can try and catch icing this cycle!

Tink That deserves a mumsnet greeting card!!

"Congratulations on your normalising prolactin levels!"

I will deffo be having a glass or two tonight then - thanks for the thumbs up viroids! Now I feel vindicated in my approach of "if it's too early to test then it's not too late to drink wine". Obviously I won't be drinking a whole bottle or anything though.

As an update on the boob situation, they are continuing to feel weird. They don't feel painful per se, but do feel hot and VERY tingly, with especially tingly nipples. It has definitely been getting more pronounced throughout the day.

Wouldn't that make an awesome news update on the scroll text thing you get on the bottom of the screen?

I don't normally get sore boobs or anything like that - maybe very, very slightly, but I don't remember it like this before. I will duly make a note of it on my period tracker app like a fucking nerd.

Mae I think the EOD or every three day approach is a good un. You could do every 2-3 days throughout your cycle with sex every day directly around your ovulation window?

Yey Tink! That's amazing news!!

So, if I had hypothetically caved and bought contraband, hypothetical of course. This isn't quite a positive is it? I'm CD21 and had the biggest (tmi) blob for lack of a better word of CM, but definitely not EW in colour. (I'm not sure if the photo is actually going to attach, so if it doesn't, just ignore my hypothetical conundrum)

I'm still loving the greeting cards. Had to catch up on a few days worth of posts. Sorry to those of you with af and the last minute cancellation of the pissing party :(

I'd say you're good for a glass or two gouda, but that's mainly because I have a writing group in the back of a wine store tomorrow, so am just justifying my own interests.

honey the blanket looks superb, tres jealous that I have no such skills.

Also, is there any protocol around smears when ttc? I have one my first at the end of the month because I've been putting it off for four years cause I'm a total chickenshit.

Fallen I'd say -ve but I'm no expert which is why this cycle I'm using clear blue sticks which give you a smily face when it's time to get shaggy.

Carrot I got a bfn cd10 but I think I'd have got one sooner if i'd tested. My heavy MC bleeding only lasted a few days and I count cd from then. But I stopped feeling sick, and started intermittent bleeding, about 2 weeks before that and I think my hcg levels dropped pretty quickly from then. That's totally unscientific but... I am beginning to think i am headed for annovulatory cycle as I feel premenstrual! Dammit, I wanted to do a la!

Tink congrats on the prolactin! I don't understand how it affects ttc but it sounds like good news!

Is it Just with the tingly boobs? How many dpo are you? Tingly itchy boobs is my bf's first pregnancy symptom.

Thanks niff, it's the darkest I've got so far but agree that it isn't as dark as control line, just wishful thinking.

Yay tink for good news :)

fallen -ve but not far off so tomorrow hopefully.

niff i think its gouda with tingling boobs, i have horribly painful, tingly, stabby nipples! Normally i get sore boobs after icing until af but never nipples. Unfortunately i think im only 3dpo rather than 10dpo as i had my second set of positive opks on sat so i dont think it is a symptom!

fallen I'd sat -ve too but also reckon tomorrow will be positive.

niff I didn't ov until cd35 in wtf cycle, normally ov cd18-20 so you're not out of the egg race yet. be patient, your body needs to adjust. and I was filled with ivf drugs and still managed to ovulate so hopefully ul be OK.

jelly I feel the need to correct details of smep. you do EOD from and start opkson cd10. when you get pos opk you DTD that day, day after and day after that,skip a day then do one more day. after that you do what you like.

just hooya accepted, but can you send one for my own symptom spotting! not having the dry lips and lump in my throat I had when I was pg at all

la sorry the piss party was disappointing! I imagine yours would be too strong to get a line now too!

High prolactin stops you ovulating and then fertilising if you did ovulate. It's quite a long shot because my levels are on the low side of high but my endo has agreed to treatment so we can rule it out. Bloods still aren't consistent with pcos but "my biochemistry" would suggest otherwise apparently. He has also requested referral to fertility clinic where I'm going to request hsg and counselling.

fallen it's close, probably positive in the next couple of days (if not hours) SHAG, then report back for

All you early pissers I'd heartily recommend you held off until af was late. I tested the day af was due this time, then she still didn't arrive for a week. That's been difficult enough, without seeing bfn's from when before af was due. Also, big hooyah! It is not the j'sers way to be pissing early, get thy husbands back into bed and enjoy yourselves until the red tide arrives!

lil hooyah for you then too

lil how many dpo are you?

7dpo

tink that's fantastic news! I really hope this is the start of something good for you :)

Thanks for the clarification lil makes sense. Think we will it stick to what we are doing for now aka shagging lots

So who is testing Friday

tink glad you ate finally getting progress! about bloody time! I think hsg and counselling is a good plan

tink great news x

So viroids I need some advice. I have started this months shagathon or not as DH does not have the stamina

Totally don't use contraband blatant lie but if I did and I generally got 4 highs and then two peaks and today was the 2nd high (shagged last night) and I will generally get 3 more shags from DH, 4 if I'm super lucky - when would you time those shags?

Thanks for the advice. Don't think I'll get a shag tonight, but will definitely insist tomorrow and Friday and maybe Saturday for good measure.

May have snorted at 'get thy husbands back into bed' tink

cat i would do eod until you get peak

let's be cautiously optimistic tink, it could just be wtf cycle messing with me!

Yay Tink!

And mini yay Lil!

Go on tink! Glad everything is happening finally.
lil

I can't be pg, I don't have sore nipples/boobs and they aren't big enough. as you were please. god damn it why has no one invented earlier tests!