We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Pissers??? Are there really none left?

Bummer

La I am doubling up on the OPKs this month. Never had any luck with ics, never seems to get dark enough. So I'm doing CB dual hormone pissy sticks which you do with fmu for some reason, and ic OPKs which you do with daytime wee (or after work wee in my case). The cb dual hormones are reeediculously expensive so I'm hoping I can abandon them after this cycle once I've worked out what the cheapies look like for me when I ice.

However, none of this is helping me work out wtf is happening atm, so just shagging continues to be the best policy. Thankfully my miroid is quite up for this cos I'm frankly too tired .

Morning all!

La - were you testing today????

I'm still planning to test on friday if anyone wants to join in. 11 dpo and above welcome to join if you fancy it.

My boobs are feeling hot and a bit odd, but not so much that I would consider it a symptom of anything.

sky just to say hope the gastroflu goes away soon. Sounds like you've had it bad! How miserable. Admire your determination to get everyone healthy again!

Jelly, smep (or smegg as I like to call it), is the sperm meets egg plan. You dtd EOD for your whole cycle (aside from period for most people one would assume), and test with opks, and when something happens with these (I don't understand opks!) You dtd every day for 4/5 days, have a day off and then dtd again. So basically what you are already doing Jelly!

Niff, what is going on with your cycle hun?

Ah thanks pud sounds like we are doing that haha.

gouda I'm sure la could test but she's guaranteed a positive

Oh woops!! Sorry I missed out on the fact that she was already upduffed!!

Pud I'm in first cycle post miscarriage. So no idea what's happening. CD21 though and no sign of icing. I think I normally ice cd16/7.

Sorry to hear that Niff, here's hoping you ice soon xx

I've been reading lots of forums about how many dpo people tested positive, and a surprising amount of people have tested positive really early! I didn't even know it was possible to test positive at only 8 dpo!!!

I'm still waiting for friday though :)

urgh serious case of the green eyed monster today. A colleague of mine is a really lovely old man and his son's expecting his first child (so his first grandchild) which is lovely, but he's harping on about how they found out it's a girl yesterday and they are really excited about it and are buying loads and is flashing the scan photo....

i'm really happy for him, but considering today is CD1 i'm not in the best of moods...........

Wow, I've missed a lot! I posted just before going to bed last night, and now there's a few pages to catch up on!

Nif I suppose it's possible to have a wonky entrance hall (ie. fanjo) but a perfectly placed uterus. Still, the mind boggles, eh!
I think your "perfectly placed uterus" deserves a greetings card slogan!

Lil & Just I find it completely weird that I can't get fanjo plugs (which are tiny) up there, but have no problem with DH!

Honey that blanket is so good! Love the pattern! Those fishies are cute too - might send my sis the link cos she's into crafty stuff like that.

Still no sign of AF.
If people are potentially POASing today, then maybe next month my cycle might fit in with some of you to POAS together next time round Though obvs depends on cycle length, date of ov, and whatnot.
Would be fun to do my first POAS with someone rather than on my own!

Still absolutely no sign of either AF or BFP. Might test again over the weekend if still no AF.

At coursework day again today. Much easier piece and nice group which is good.

No twinges of anything today, don't know what's going on.

Hot tub will be emptied soon, as I shall cry on DH until he agrees. It might make no difference but if it is the problem, I'll feel a right twat. I am dieting, he can go without the hot tub for a few months. Save on the lecky bill too!

sky I'm retroverted too doesn't seem to affect fanjo plugs, but does make smear a bit awkward I find

I guess I could hve P'dOAS if I had any, but dont really think I'd believe I had any chance until CD32+ (currently 28)

I was sure SOMEONE would get a BFP (or even a VFP)!

5hell ah, so is "retroverted" the official term for a wonky fanjo?
How do you find out for definite if you are retroverted? And does it have any other implications?
I have found smears absolutely excruciating (advice that suggested "mild discomfort" were waaaay off!) and I bled A LOT (for the rest of that day AND the whole following day) -surely that's not normal?? I rang the surgery back but they were less than helpful.

Starting to get mild cramps, so I guess that means AF is on her way shortly!

I think it can be called retroverted/inverted/tipped/tilted uterus/cervix/womb, and of course the one most commonly used by Drs: wonky fanjo ;)

about 20% of us have it; not thought to cause any major issues
disclaimer: I am not even a Dr, never mind a gynae!

With my smears they just ahve a it of trouble accessing it, so I have to do a lot of pelvic tilting to help them

mae you're not out til she's actually shown her big red face!

just I could eat all of those buns in one go... but I've decided to give up choc, biscuits and cake (and all other sugary stuff) for April.

honey it's beautiful, could really see it on a child's bed.

Niff when did you get your bfn? I didn't ice in wtf cycle, just got AF, but my bfn took 4+ weeks

gouda I think you must have sky high levels of hcg to have a bfp on 8dpo, or pg with twins (which still means high hcg). I'm no expert though!

Can't believe there are no pissers at piss party!

gouda chances are those people who get a bfp at 8DPO are either lying or have miscalculated icing.

carrot i am most upset that we have no pissers today. I never make it to the date i am meant to piss but I always give others luck when I do (lemon, indigo) but nobody got my luck this month still rooting for honey and lil

Viriods, is the reason that EOD shagging is suggested as the best frequency because the sperms need time to 'regroup', so shagging every day would mean they aren't as good quality?
(that and dtd every day being pretty exhausting I imagine!)

mae I'd personally recommend EOD shagging because it's easier to sustain. In March we dtd every day during my fertile window and by the time it got to my actual ovulation day we were like "Oh god again??"

If you have sex every other day then you can keep it going throughout the month - that way if you miscalculated your ovulation window you are still covered.

My boobs are sore. Either they are genuinely getting more sore as the day goes on (I promise I'm not prodding them!) or I am just going mental.

I am meant to be seeing a friend for a drink later. I think I will have a glass of wine? I mean, if it isn't even early enough to do a fucking test then it can't be early enough to have any impact, surely?

Gouda, if in doubt, drink wine! I drink during TWW, but definitely steady away. Placenta does not form until 5 weeks? Each to their own but I do enjoy a glass of wine on Thursday Friday and Saturday every. I guess it is quite a personal choice. I do worry about how I am going to cope without wine once I get a bfp!!

Mae, I think the research shows that dtd every day has no negative effect, other than your DH'S todger might fall off.