We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Welcome back stoat. Glad you are taking things slow :)

just they look amazing! I hate hot cross buns but they look great

Oh lil I had fanjo plugs filling on one side only last month :)

Tmi alert here (don't read if eating) I used two today, the first one was in for 3 hours just after I noticed the witch started and came out slightly brown (sorry tmi). The second was totally clean. So deffo spotting. My first day of AF is always super light. Then she ups the game the bitch.

OMG Just AMAZING!!

I want them! But I'm also on high protein diet so anything like that is off the menu!

I wouldn't count this as CD1 yet then jel, you're still 11dpo!

Aw thanks for the welcome ladies

lil I'm sorry you got upset, a couple of my friends found that, one who cried the whole time infact. DH kept asking if I was ok and I had to tell him to shut up as I wouldn't be if he kept reminding me I might not be! He's a sweetie though, very thoughtful and prepared that today would be a big thing, and it was for him too. I think the fact that I know I'm not ovulating at the moment was probably good, it took a lot of the emotion out as there's no chance I'm pregnant.

Thanks guys, jelly going to make some choc chip ones for my sister, might they be more up your street? Def spotting, 11dpo! Go you. I sometimes get a day of nothing in middle of period, anyone else?

stoat sounds like you have a good one there.

just I normally have 1 light day then 3 days of all the period in the world the another it ends abruptly.

So I'm 11DPO? This is unheard of.

Just those are some lovely looking buns.

Stoat It's good to hear from you.

And Jelly it does sound like spotting to me... GX!

And just choc chip buns sound much nicer to me than the traditional hot cross buns...

Thanks for complimenting my buns preens

Just had a weird thing, this is def tmi but who else will I tell?! Had a really odd twinging fanjo....like something was contracting inside, not really painful, odd and uncomfortable though.

Anyone had this? Or is this just another example of my body being bonkers in this cycle of irritation? Opks finally went negative today, strong line still, so I'm hopeful I've finally iced!

I've always wondered does spotting count as CD1, or does new cycle not start until proper flow?

Currently expecting AF any day now. Sore nips and belly feeling tight, but no pain yet which usually is telltale sign that she's on her way.
Ovia predicted today for AF's arrival but no sign yet. The sooner she arrives, the sooner she will go, and then we can get dtd eod!
First month of trying! (But not holding my breath for it to happen first time round!)

Re fanjo plugs, I've tried but never managed to get them in right! Reckon mines a wonky fanjo n all!
It's probably more common than we realise; it's just not something talked about much! (Except places like MN!)

Wonky fanjos should totally make it into the next fred title! ;-)

mae hurrah for EOD shagging. You go girl. We would like nothing more than you doing a kitten, you never know! Also, fanjo plug wise...were you angling them back a bit rather than straight up? self proclaimed fanjo plug expert

jelly's incredible lengthening lp should make the next thread title

And you have to make sure you push them in far enough - you shouldn't be able to feel it once it's in.

And definitely not spotting as CD1, CD1 is first day of full red flow. This is also what senior nurse at fertility clinic advised when I had to phone up to start my IVF cycle.

Stoat wonderful to see you lovely. Sounds like you've got the right approach and glad first shag was ok. Mine was pretty awful but second was much better!

Just your buns are hot!

I never get spotting, just a massive gush!

Had sudden panic i had written gash then!

Hot buns, that's what they call me

Oh yes, a doctor once told me I have a wonky fanjo. But when I had scans for MC the sonographer complimented me on a perfectly placed uterus. Whatever that means.

As a consequence of wonky fanjo tho I can't use applicator tampons - can't seem to get them comfortable and it all leaks down one side. Curiously enough, no trouble w dh's awesome penis...

Hmm, it's been a while since I've tried tbh. Got fed up with it not working and didn't like the idea of putting it so far in, in case I can't get I back out! I mean I'm sure they're designed so that doesn't happen, but the thought still makes me paranoid!!

True it could happen straight away, but I'm going to assume that it won't necessarily, in order to limit disappointment. Plus don't want to be naive about it. And I also have no idea how fertile I generally am or not, having just come off the pill in Jan after ~10years!
So we'll just see what happens this time round I guess!!

Not convince that Ovia accurately predicted date of ov this month, so definitely think as much shagging as poss is the way forward!
Hubby says he's up for every 2-3 days but I'm semi expecting him to change his mind part way through the month. :-/

gx for everyone partaking of the pissing party tomorrow!

Lots of luck to the pissers!

Just those buns look awesome!

Stoat, so lovely to hear from you. Glad to hear you're back on the horse, as it were.

Thoughts..
Keep going or end here and start squaring it off on a plain coloured background? What colour? I feel like the pink rounds are the strongest so feel I should keep going until I have done the yellow, orange, pink, coral again..
Its about two foot across. Thoughts?