We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

I just searched for acupuncture on Google. I'm having it privately. It will say on there the type of acupuncture they do. I chose someone who used traditional chinese acupuncture and also was zita West affiliated

Is there such a thing as low carb biscuits? I would love a biscuit with my cup of tea right now. Currently being really good and avoiding the Oreo's I have in my cupboard...

I assume there are healthy weightwatchers biccies ain?

Q

wine my DH commented last month that he hopes we get pg soon as he's fed up of all the shagging

CD13 and evidence of ewcm or lady jizz as it's called in our house - let the shagging commence

Jelly bad news about the witch but big hurrah for the longer LP. Big glass of wine & relaxing after work bath for you?

JC glad to hear you enjoyed acupuncture. DH has it following on from back surgery & swears by it. He's thinking of going on a course to learn how to do it.

Feeling meh. day 27 of a 24-26 day cycle. BFN this morning on a Superdrug test and no sign of AF. If I'm not pregnant I'd like to get AF out of the way & start shagging again soon!

Today isn't cd1 for me is it? That would be tomorrow?

jelly I think iif AF comes after 10am then you count CD1 as the next day, if before 10am CD 1 is counted as the day the witch arrives

What a lot of action today - pant snot, farting and sticky needles.

Jelly so sorry the witch got you, I was really convinced this would be your month! But impressive positive mental attitude and hoorah for the lp lengthening. I think mine is slightly short too, damn body!

JC glad the acupuncture went well.. I really believe in looking after yourself hard when you're down - for me stress is the trigger for low mood and I find massages work wonders. I think the brain responds to anything that makes you feel good even if it's just for a short time. It's like a muscle -you've got to train to feel good.

Wow, that is specific MrsCat, very good! Lolled at lady jizz!!

Just, loving the new card. I think this range has real commercial potential...

And wine, I think I will be quite shagged out. But from consulting with friends it's not that that prevents shagging post conception. Obvs there's the wind and bloating and constipation... I don't think my DH will find it too appealing..

Sorry JC, you've got to train the muscle to feel good by reminding it what it feels like, not embark on some army-camp boot-fitness style training regime. That would be a frickin terrible idea!

And sunshine sorry for bfn. You're not out til you're out though...

Dh says shagging is abso out of the question tonight humph

I've never heard of the 10am thing my black. I've only ever read first day of full red flow is cd1 jelly

dh not home

This certainly isn't full flow it's very light non existent so I've called it spotting

My CBFM always asks what time AF started and uses that rule so I've just gone with that - doesn't mean it's right though!

So that means you're not out yet then jelly..............

Haha niff I've now got this slightly freaky image in my head of my brain doing push ups!

Nah I am jc. Thinking anything else would be deluding myself.

I find that fanjo plugs affect my assessment of heaviness of AF too, because when they are removed there's not much there.....so calling it spotting lol

If there's bugger all on the fanjo plug jel it's spotting.

myblack is it the acbfm? my cbfm just needed you to press a button between cd1-5. you held it down to tick through the days, so if af came after the time i wanted to poas for it i'd do it the next day and hold it down until i got 2 on the display.

--actually i have a tmi fanjo plug question. Mine only tend to "fill" on one
side. is that normal?!--

dh finally got home at just after I sent last message so i was finally able to eat dinner! nearly chewed my arm off!

Hello shaggers
I've had a bit of a break from here and I'm amazed anyone is getting knocked up considering all the talking you've been doing!

Anyway. I finally finished a 9 day period. It was disgusting. I've always been a 28 day cycle and a 5 light days girl. On one of the days the bleeding was worse than when I actually miscarried (I never felt the sac pass, but the clotting...I thought a bit of my vagina was falling off). Fuck knows how long this cycle will be. According to Ovia, if I'm having a 28 day cycle, I'll be in the fertile zone from tomorrow. But that super long period may cock things up. I was at the Drs for something else which was handy as she took the time to ask how I was doing post MC and I got to ask her about TTC again. She was great and said just to go for it, not to pay too much heed to the app, that I might ovulate as normal, might not. So going to shag every other or every other day or so. I'm not expecting to get pregnant quickly again, that ship has sailed. I'm bracing myself for a long haul.

We resumed shagging for the first time since I got knocked up today. It wasn't the right day for anything to come of it, but it was the necessary first time back in the saddle, which as anyone who's had a MC will tell you can be difficult. I've had vaginisimus in the past so was worried that would happen given the last few months sex led to: MC, needing dildocam, needing a pessary to deal with the MC etc. the voices in my head tried to tell me bad things but I ignored them.

I am going to try to keep things chilled. Not obsessing about any of it. Literally just shagging. Taking my folic. That's it. There won't even be any POAS in the event that I'm late. That MMC has really taken the excitement out of it.

Yes lil it's normal. I used to have one sided gunk too when I was using them.

lil yes it's the advanced contraband

lil wonky fanny bleeding here too!

stoat good to have you back hen. We are all rooting for you and here if you need to offload

Somewhat off topic but I'm very proud of my hot cross buns!

As you were.....

stoat!! was wondering how you were doing! I think you may have a point, noone got upduffed on the last thread. We haven't had a BFP since Lemon! My turn next I reckon believe that you'll believe anything
First shag post MC I cried the moment we finished. I wasn't really into it. My mind couldn't stay away from what it was supposed to achieve but hasn't and the fact that even if it does it doesn't mean you're there!

Phew, glad i'm not the only one with a wonky fanjo!