The wheels on the February bus go round and round

[juneybean]

Ta da!

Hey vic what treatment do you have lined up next?

Sorry for hogging the thread!

Nomio, I was sad to read that you have suffered so much and been to the darkest places with your MH. Reading between the lines it sounds as though you are perhaps still not in the best place you could be. TTC only makes everything worse if the months roll on, and I hope you know you are not alone with your feelings. I know I now have my baby, but the feelings of inadequacy and guilt I feel are somewhat torturous, too. Why do some of us have to fight all the time to feel happy? I honestly don't like that word anyway: happy. Such frigging pressure to be ecstatically chuffed with your life all the time. Whoever said we should be happy every day and that to be less than gleeful is something to be avoided at all costs?

The bible's got it right in Ecclesiastes ch 3 v 1-8:

'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance...'

It is a good time, when our period comes and our hopes are briefly dashed, to mourn and to weep. Nowt wrong with that. There will come a time when we will be laughing again and dancing. There is a time for everything

Congrats to all the bfp's! I hope everyone is well today.

Juney, don't envy you the cat bum gravy!!

I don't know when we can stop having sex as my chart is so rocky. Feeling the fatigue now!! That sounds awful but I'm sure you all understand!

Ooo! Lucie, only ten days of stims! You go, girl. From the moment I decided to have IVF abroad until the day Nancy was transferred into my womb it was exactly eight weeks You decided on Reprofit, Luce?

I reckon you shagged well baby

Sorry AF is ruining things Lucie

purdey I bought an avocado thinking it must be good for you but it tastes like shite so found a recipe for avocado truffles, tastes good but I simply cannot be added to roll them out.

I'm babysitting but after my hormones earlier I'd rather be cocooned in bed with my shitty cat.

Definitely know the feeling of fighting to be happy, had a similar breakdown just after Christmas, out of my friends I feel like I've always had to work a but harder to get what I want. But then I realised yesterday they're all in shitty marriages

Yes I think we will go with Reprofit Purdey. I have felt happy with them from the start and they have good success rates. From all the own egg icsi they did last year 50% resulted in bfp. Admittedly only 40% then go onto clinical pregnancy but still not bad odds.

Yes, Lucie, you must go with who you feel happy with. Exciting times ahead for you, love!

Juney, I'm sorry to hear about your breakdown. They are the worst. It seems insurmountably impossible that we can I return to who we were, doesn't it? But we do and we heal. That indomitable spirit again. Yes, yes to looking around and seeing others' seemingly perfect lives as they really are. It's funny how our ideas of what would make us happy evolve as we achieve them: having money; finding Mr or Mrs Right; buying dream home; landing great job; having that baby. Then we look at what we have and think, 'Nah. I want summat else now.'

That doesn't happen exactly when you have your baby but there are times when you look at your ttc journey - all the pain and agony of crushing disappointment and feeling like a loser - and you wonder what is was that made you go literally crazy with it all. It's because there is no-one who can say to us. 'You will get your baby; you will get it on the twelfth of whatever, 2016'. It's so horribly up in the air. But I'm here to tell you all..you will get your babies

Aenor, come and tell us some more interesting stuff!

Giddy, where are you? On t'uvver buzz?

I'm watching Behind The Candelabra (the film about Liberace and his lover). I've never seen so much spangle and satin. Michael Douglas is just ace in the role. Just waiting for DH to finish his fag break

Juney, I just went a-hunti' for Sparkly over on t'March buzz and found..yes!...you! Whassalltharraboot?

*a-huntin'

I'm watching greys anatomy. Just been emailed by Amazon prime to say we have until 23rd March before they remove it from their lists. So a month to watch the 8.5 seasons we have left! DP on electric fag break. Still make him take it outside cuz I'm mean!

Here's my chart, boring but felt like it. Ouchy cramps tonight but AF BFP not due for another week. Itchy left nipple - symptom right?

I'm two - timing you purdey I didn't want you to find out this way.

Nah my test date is 1st March so officially I'm over there but can't leave you mad bunch

Evening all

Ooh avocado truffles Juney, yum, I love avocado

Lucie, sorry af has arrived early and scuppered your plans but it's very exciting that you've made your choice and off to Czech. I shall be keeping my fx for you.

purdey I'm not particularly religious, but I remember sitting in church with DH at midnight mass. It was the day I found out I'd had a mmc and had to endure all that entailed. They read a passage from John "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
Really spoke to me. I'm now just about to head into my first tww after the mc. I keep telling myself that i will get my baby. That somehow, things happen for a reason, and they have a way of working out. Even through the darkness.

Anyway, just wanted to say thankyou for helping put it into perspective. Everyone of you are on a journey, and although I lurk most of the time, it helps to be on that journey with such a lovely bunch of people.

Right. Can anyone help?

I have had spotting for 2 full days now. Brownish. Now appears to have stopped. Af will appear tomorrow I know.

This happened last two cycles too.

Maybe its always been like that, and I haven't been playing knicker watch like I have been last 3 cycles.

Either way, is this something I should be worried about?

Also I have a scrappy sharp headache that a making me feel really sick.

Scrappy? Crappy...

Thanks guys! Told my husband that the girls of MN (an creepy guys who love to read talk about CM) said that we shagged well. He was a tad "Who?" hehe.

Thank goodness we did okay. I really felt like crap yesterday :S (and of course it's a symptom even though I hadn't ovulated yet :P)

Everything's a symptom, today has been one big symptom for me

babs I spot a bit the night before but it normally red so I know AF will arrive the next day (also why I never used to bother keeping track, great warning).

Yours is brownish. I've read the brown blood is because it's older, having taken longer to come out because you're not full flow yet. Mine is red because it's a faster bleed so younger blood. I'm not sure it's anything to worry about. There has been some talk on the bus about spotting much earlier being a sign of low progesterone I think it was

Arghhh I've missed pages!!!! Sorry lovelies. I've not been very well at all past two days been completely off radar, been sleeping a lot today so struggled to zzz now so just popped on and see how busy you have all been on here. I haven't read back to see the chat so will do hopefully Tomor. Hope you all are ok though and if there's been any BFPs- congrats!!! Hope to pop on Tomor.

Morning everyone

Do we have any Sunday testers?

I poas, bfn
not due AF until Wednesday though

I'm seriously considering poas even though my period isn't due for 6 days and it's a stupid waste of time. But if the hormones are strong enough to make me have all these symptoms I'm imagining I have then maybe they'll show right?
I think I'm losing my mind.