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Conception

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TTC for ten months, and the rest. Ten plussers welcome.

999 replies

MrsGingerbread · 08/02/2015 02:06

A friendly and welcoming thread full of lovely women.

OP posts:
TrixieRay · 13/03/2015 10:29

Congratulations Lemon!!! I checked in this morning hoping to see a BFP from you. Goes to show sometimes it really does happen when you least expect it to. Remind me how long you were trying again?
I certainly feel young but my Mum had me when she was 20 and I love having a young Mum - not that I would have been anywhere near ready then!

Pikz, I really hope you get to have that day again soon. Maybe treat yourself to something special today even if it is just a bar of your favourite chocolates of a glass of wine Flowers

I know Sammy, I thought he was joking but googled it when I got home. I guess it's because people feel positive and upbeat in the Spring though that obviously goes for natural BFPs too Smile
I think we will go ahead with the consultation and then have a heart to heart afterwards, we could always put it off to June or July.

Welcome lugo, sorry you are feeling tearful. It's so hard isn't it and doing the job you do must make it much worse. We started trying around the same time as you. Like lemon says I would definitely get the ball rolling with your GP.

TheTravellingLemon · 13/03/2015 12:53

Thanks everyone. I'm still in shock I think! We started trying in October 2013, so around 18 months.

If you've seen some of my older posts, you'll know that I never believed this would happen for me. I got so upset every single time AF turned up and every time I was baby bombed. I really hope my BFP can bring a bit of hope to everyone on here. I genuinely thought my case was hopeless after 18 months and only really tested this morning so I could tell my GP that my periods had stopped.

lugo40 · 13/03/2015 14:04

i think the trouble is you find out your not pregnant when your hormonal and not the most rationale!! i feel a little better today, i have made a plan to join weight watchers and have booked in some conception reflexology and acupuncture. I am going to continue my exercise too - pilates, dancing and the gym. I am going to take a trip to a nutritionist. I am due to see gp at the end of the month for an asthma check. When i last saw her i said i was starting to think about TTC but wanted to lose weight - i was too scared to be honest with her incase she told me off for being overweight and TTC But when i see her this time i will be honest and see if they suggest tests

THank you and congrats to Lemon for such fantastic news this morning!!!

Teagan007 · 13/03/2015 15:30

Congratulations Lemon! Such fantastic news. Smile

I guess taking your mind off things really must do some good.

Any sign of a BFP yet Ronnie?

Hi Lugo and Pikz. Try and keep positive. It's so easy to fall down that too familiar deep dark well where there isn't an easy way out. You have to make sure you don't fall into it in the first place, just taking a look down it is enough to make me stand back up and keep fighting on and keep positive. We are women...and us women are all strong, always remember that!

loopylou1984 · 13/03/2015 17:26

Lemon that is exactly the same as me, started trying in Oct 2013!
You have given me fresh hope, it was be so amazing. Congratulations again SmileSmile

TheTravellingLemon · 14/03/2015 07:56

Sammy I'm pleased I've given you hope. Both pregnancies happened for me when I stopped stressing about it. The first time I was waiting for tests and the second time we moved house. The annoying thing is, you can't stop yourself thinking about it. If you could I'd have done it 18 months ago! I was trying to work out when this baby was conceived, which isn't hard because we hardly dtd this month! We went away with our friends to a nice hotel, got drunk and played cards against humanity all night. We laughed a lot, which felt like the first time in a long time. The problem is that you can't make yourself relax. Stupid body.

loopylou1984 · 14/03/2015 08:01

Yes Lemom, that's it. Everyone (even dh) says stop thinking about it and it will happen... But I can't find my brains off switch! Hmm
Xx

TheTravellingLemon · 14/03/2015 08:06

Me either sammy. I knew I wasn't helping myself, but really you can't help it. It was extenuating circumstances for me both times really. I hope your ceiling collapses or your car gets stolen Wink

loopylou1984 · 14/03/2015 12:24

Lol, well we have a holiday coming up so maybe that'll do it! X

BertieBoo10 · 14/03/2015 22:59

Congratulations on your BFP Lemon.

Myself and my partner started TTC in October 13 to. Still nothing and tbh it's really affecting me now.

I work in paediatric intesive care so I feel your pain Lugo. Our jobs mean that we can never get away from babies, children etc...

My mindset us putting a huge strain on our relationship and I don't mean for it to. I just feel completely fed up with it all and this month he hasn't wanted to be anywhere near me let alone TTC. I can't say I blame him I'm not even happy to be around myself let alone other people. At work on can put on a smile and fake it but I get home and it's like a demon transforming. :( I'm just utterly exhausted and fed up and angry. If im not crying I'm snapping because this that or the other isn't right. It's just ridiculous. I'm sick and tired of babysitting other peoples children. It sounds awful because that's just not me. This whole situation has turned me into such and spiteful person. :(

Teagan007 · 15/03/2015 07:55

Oh no Bertie, you are not in a good place. I really do feel for you and everyone who works with children. The situation we are in is such a relationship affector, I think it's important to talk about your feelings with OH's. I break down regularly and I told my OH how I was feeling once and he had no idea it was affecting in those ways. He is more supportive now.

I told my mum last night that we've been struggling to conceive for 18 months now and I wish I'd told her sooner. She gave me a cuddle and we talked supportive things. Perfect start to Mother's Day I guess!

loopylou1984 · 15/03/2015 09:04

Oh Bertie - I know how you feel.
Have you seen a doctor?
I feel a bit better knowing we're in the system and help is on it's way (albeit too slowly for my liking).
Dh and I made a pact at Christmas to book in 1 thing a month to look forward to (shows, trips out etc,) to try to enjoy each other and take a break from ttc. Maybe you could try that?
There's nothing wrong with letting the emotion out, it's healthy, and your dh probably feels the same deep down, he's just better at hiding it. Do try not to lose sense of your wonderful self though, Xx

Teagan007 · 16/03/2015 19:28

Well, update on today's fertility clinic app. Felt way too emotional. Doctor wasn't v sympathetic and came straight out with it, that if we decide to have fert treatment, it's going to cost us. Made me feel really awful. I know I was in a clinic with other couples who necessarily haven't got any children but I felt like such an inconvenience to them.

It's left me feeling confused and I feel like I'm wasting their time and nhs money. There was a plan of action for some investigation into Fallopian tubes though so I guess I'm a step closer.

Has anyone else felt like they've been treated like this? I mean, I havent even seen my doctor regarding the whole issue.

Feeling a bit alone. Sad

TrixieRay · 17/03/2015 13:58

Same here Sammy, I'm not as obsessive about it all as I have been but wish I could stop thinking about it so much. A holiday sounds great Smile

Bertie and Teagan, sorry to hear that you are both feeling so low. Long time TTC is so utterly draining. Every month I dread having to go through another AF and the accompanying tears and PMT. It is so important to stay positive (easy for me to say at CD10 with no nasty hormones raging) and be thankful for what we do have.

Teagan, I'm sorry that the Doctor wasn't sympathetic. I've only seen my GP so far who was fairly sympathetic and the Doctor I saw at the fertility clinic where I had my tests was fairly neutral but the nurse was lovely. You are not wasting their time/nhs money at all and like you say you are one step further. Do you have to wait long for the investigations? Did they say what the investigations were? I had the HyCoSy where they flush dye through your tubes to make sure they are clear- lot's of women conceive soon after.

Teagan007 · 17/03/2015 14:44

Yes, I think HyCoSy is the procedure they're going to do to me - certainly know they will put some dye in my uterus and take an xray to see if there are any blockages. Got to wait until next month for that now though. Thanks Trixie for giving me some hope by saying that there may be a chance of conception after the procedure!

I really have been wound up on the subject this month though. I can't wait to move house (this time next week!) as it will give me something else to focus on. Maybe be another Lemon case! Wink

TheTravellingLemon · 17/03/2015 15:16

Teagan I have a close friend who conceived after 3 years two months after having that test. It clears away bits of debris sometimes apparently Confused so good luck.

Also, new house, new baby! I nearly punched my mum square in the face when she said that to me before I moved, but it turns out she was right!

loopylou1984 · 17/03/2015 17:23

Hi everyone, hope you're all ok?
Lemon - how are you feeling?

Quick question - does anyone know where we stand in terms of fertility treatment and time off work? Do we have to take annual leave? Xx

TheTravellingLemon · 17/03/2015 18:59

I'm feeling pretty wiped out actually. We have builders in and no bathroom at the moment! Smile

I don't know about time off work, but I once had a friend who had gone through a few rounds of IVF with his wife and he said to me that he would always advise someone to be completely honest with work as things can get demanding and the people who try to keep their privacy always end up struggling.

loopylou1984 · 17/03/2015 19:10

Thanks Lemon, I've told my direct manager (cried at her actually) so it should be ok with appointments etc.

Sorry to here about the no bathroom situations, nightmare! Hope it's fixed if any morning sickness kicks in! Xx

ToesAndFingersCrossed · 17/03/2015 19:14

Hi everyone, just popping in to say congratulations to Lemon, that's fantastic news! Yippee!

Teagan, I imagine it must be really upsetting, but is take all the tests that are available on the NHS that you can, having to do them privately does add up and once you're looking into self funding every penny counts! I'd also shop around for clinics, just because they are close by doesn't mean they are better. Ine of the grads from this thread, Nelly, is currently pregnant after treatment in serum in Athens. Especially with the weak euro just now, that could be a really affordable option.

Sam - it depends on your employer and what you decide to tell them. I didn't want to tell mine so took some annual leave and scheduled early morning appointments when possible. Other people's employers have been known to grant extra unpaid leave or allow them flexible working during the cycle. You're considered "pregnant" after embryo transfer (there was a case a few years ago about it, if law's your thing, google it, it's quite interesting) so any sick leave you take after you could say is pregnancy related sick leave, which your employer cannot penalise you for taking. However you would need to tell your employer about the fertility treatment from the start for that to be the case.

I've had some bad news I'm afraid, my pregnancy recently ended in a miscarriage. Unfortunately there was a very weak heartbeat at the 7week scan, and a week later this was gone. Enjoying some gin at the moment, and then on to TTC again. The clinic won't do a frozen cycle (we have 1 in the freezer) for another 3 months, but there's nothing stopping us ttc naturally (except that it doesn't work for us, but I'm up for having a bit of fun nonetheless!)

Teagan007 · 17/03/2015 19:59

Thanks everyone. Makes me feel better knowing that I have support here and you've all been wonderful. I'm not sure I'm ready to go private at the moment with all that is going on. I just need to find out what my chances are of TTC naturally after my hysterosalpingogram (HSG), then take it from there...one step at a time and all that!

Sorry to hear the sad news ToesandFingers. Sometimes I believe that things like that are meant to be as we simply do not know the reasons. Gin is always good though.

Lemon, hope the new house is going well...I haven't been in our new house since December as we get the keys next Monday. It's liveable, but very dated so I'm guessing we're going to be busy gutting the place for the foreseeable future! RE punching your mum in the face, that did make me chuckle, how parents say the silliest things! My Mum said to me over the weekend that "us lot - we breed like rabbits" and I'm just thinking I've told her I haven't been able to conceive for the last 18 months. Lol!

loopylou1984 · 17/03/2015 20:06

Oh toes, I'm so so sorry to hear your news. Xx

Pikz · 17/03/2015 21:26

Oh toes I am so sorry :(

DonnaLyman · 17/03/2015 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teagan007 · 17/03/2015 22:01

Hi Donna.

Anyone who has has HyCoSy, what is the experience like? Donna, you say it was miserable?? Or was that the going back to work part?