*sigh* 7 months in. When will my BFP come?

[purpleframe]

Feeling really disheartened. I have a DS, as does my partner. My stepson was a surprise and my son was concieved in 2nd month of trying. We've been at it now since August and nothing . We both know we can get pregnant with our previous partners, but it isn't happening.(and I'm feeling very sorry for myself as both our previous partners had kids really soon after our respective break-ups. we waited until we knew for sure we wanted to do this - and now I'm worried we missed our chance ). i only started using ovulation tests last month as I'm 34 and was starting to think I would have trouble - but I did ovulate - so phew! but I ovulated about 4days earlier than I was expecting and now I worry I've wasted 7months having sex at the wrong time! I just want a baby. that's all. and it was so easy last time - I don't really know how to deal with this. and I know it can take 2years to conceive naturally, but right now, quite frankly that stat just makes me want to cry.

any tips? what times to have sex? positions? legs in the air after or not bother? sex in the morning or at night? any particular diet? (already stopped drinking, don't smoke) is hypnotism/acupuncture a good (if expensive...) idea. any supplements? when in your cycle to focus on sex (I've read every other day leading up to ovulation and then every day for 3days after.

seriously - anything!?! I just want to feel like I have even a little control in this...

If you've been having sex at the wrong time, maybe don't think of it as seven months of trying?

There's a glut of information out there on supplements and weird diets. But we all know that in all likelihood they don't have an impact perhaps - however, as someone who's early into the journey, cycle two this month here's what I am doing -

1… husband and I both on preconception vitamins and omega 3 for a year before trying (we started trying last month)

1. Since last month he is also having extra zinc, vitamin C and vitamin E. His preconception vitamin is powerful and also includes coq10.

1. I have the preconception vitamins, omega 3 (a prenatal version), vitamin c and vitamin E - both of which are necessary for egg quality.

Apart from that I do eat for my cycle - following zita west/Emma cannon advice - so include iron rich foods in bleeding week, then days 6-14 I include plenty of grapefruit juice and Starflower oil to help cervical mucous, in this phase I also eat plenty of nuts, seeds, avocado and oily fish for the good fats, and I do eat beets, pomegranate and watermelon to supply nitric oxide to aid ovulation. Post ovulation the advice is to include plenty of red and yellow foods like carrots squash etc.

Just been doing the cycle eating this month, so no proofs to show yet. Also drinking plenty of ginger teas I make myself, and using hot water bottles to keep uterus and feet warm. I also like eating hot cooked food which is great.

Acupuncture - just started it this week, and will have a session before and after ovulation again.

Also started visualisations this month.

So in all I am only starting my second month so can't say if any of these work, and the eating for cycle, acupuncture and visualisation are recent additions this cycle.

A 30 by the way, TTC 1 cycle 2.

Hi Purple, also onto month 7 here of TTC. Am 31 and trying for our 1st. I tracked my cycles for a few months to track when I ovulated. Did have a CP in October but nothing since.

Agree with Focus to some extent - in that if you've realised you ovulate earlier than you thought then perhaps don't be so hard on yourself.

There are lots of tips out there, but I think you can end up getting overly involved - I know I did with temping, which is why I stopping as it was affecting my sleep & making me anxious if I didn't get a result I was expecting. We have sex every other & then the 3 days surrounding ovulating & every other again for a few days. Makes sure you're covered even if your body mucks you about.

I'd say perhaps a few simple changes to help - you know you can both conceive after all. My DH takes a multivitamin - get one that gives RDA of Zinc, Selenium & I think magnesium - we just have a supermarket brand as loads cheaper than conception vits. A healthy diet high in protein is said to help & that how I eat so it's handy!

Any position that allows deep penetration is fine. Apparently legs in the air is a load of tosh, but is good for a giggle! You could try a sperm friendly lube - preseed or conceive plus - they are supposed to mimic the fertile CM which could help if you think you don't have much of it.

I've also tried Starflower oil (cheaper than evening primrose & does a better job) for CM - but if you notice you have plenty don't bother. Also stop once you've ovulated.

Having been TTC for pretty much the same length of time I can really sympathise with how you're feeling, but you need to strike a balance that you are happy with. The rest is out of our control I'm afraid!

Best of luck x

It took us 20months - not what you want to hear but the month we conceived we:

Had both been on conception vits (3 months)
I had been off alcohol (1 month only)
Used pre seed (3rd month on pre seed)
Had reflexology (1st month)
Used opks (16th month!!!)
Dtd at all the right times and once extra for luck

In be careful not to go too crazy and try to keep to some normality in case it does take a while. Also, even though it took us AGES I am so happy as my little baby I am growing now (34wreks today) is the little one I want more than anything in the world and if he'd come sooner, he wouldn't be the little one I have iyswim

Good luck!!!

thanks so much for the comments. I know it can take so long - wish I had been peeing in those little sticks all along!

do you think the conception aiding lubes really work?

Hi Purple,
We too are in the 7 months and counting club. I don't really have any tips to add but just wanted to say you are not alone with how you are feeling!

It's amazing isn't it how you spend so long trying not to get pregnant when you are younger, yet when you want it to happen its not actually that easy! When we started TTC my cycles were regular at 31 days but the last two have been all over the place and like you I'm sure I've been thinking I was O'ing on the wrong day - very frustrating!

I have been trying to keep positive, but I've had three close friends announce their pregnancies in last few months which has made me feel even more deflated. Like you have said - we just want a baby!

We've started using Conceive Plus this month on the recommendation from a friend who conceived after two years using it. Along with using this we have been BD'ing every other days this month so fingers crossed for a BFP in the next few weeks! Anything is worth a try!