Grab your Ganeshas and collect your cats: The Elderberry Pavlovas in the Quest for the New Year clusterdiff (thread 25)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Hi Barking and welcome back. Sorry that you had a BFN and hope that you have had some good support in real life land. I can totally understand why you have not been around but hope that you know that we are hear for you. Do you know what you're doing next?

Sorry for everyone I missed off earlier; I will get around to having a proper read through but still trying to get my head around things. But thank you for your thoughts and virtual hugs.

Beaky, Barking I'm fine thanks, I had a melt down at work the other day but I had to man the fuck up and get on with it as I had a room full of 25 3 year olds and no option.

I'm only skimming the thread TBH so I'm sorry for not name checking people.

barking good to see you. Was very sorry to hear about your bfn but think you're taking the right steps forward for you. Sounds as though you and I have been having similar conversations with the menfolk. It is beyond frustrating. Mr T likes to list every more unhealthy friend we have who has fathered a child, citing that it can't make a difference if so-and-so who smokes/drinks/eats crap has a baby. He has cut back but I still think he could just give up for the next 2 months, but he doesn't think it is necessary. Last year, I told him straight that his SA results were only average and could be better. He got VERY defensive but then agreed to take vits/had a few weeks off booze etc and repeated the test with excellent results so it really does make a difference. It is my bugbear as he is very supportive in all other ways. He ran out of vitamins last week - he seemed suprised that they don't just magically appear in the house and didn't know what they were or where to get them!

Sorry that turned into a mini rant! Quite cathartic. Anyway my tactic was to tell Mr T that it was up to him to be sure he was doing what he should and I would leave it to him to decide, and apologised for nagging but the prospect of ivf and daily injections etc was making me nervous. I then left Zita Wests guide to fertility on the coffee table and have disappeared off to London for the week. He's clearly been reading it, judging by a couple of things he said this evening. I think he'll gradually come round...

tiger I think I'm going to leave it until we see the consultant (two weeks yesterday) and ask him. If he says it won't make a difference I'll try and live with it. If he says it might then as far as I'm concerned DH needs to step up and do his bit. At the very least I'm going to ask that he doesn't drink in front of me. It's really not fair if I'm being good and he can't be arsed .

hb I can't face another iui, or this whole ttc malarkey dragging out any longer. We're jumping straight into our one nhs shot, last chance saloon.... Lovely nurse booked me in for an injections lesson 2 days after we see the consultant and then provisionally booked me in for ivf if my next cycle starts 1st week in march. If AF comes late then there might be a delay as the clinic are very busy. So fingers crossed I should be downregging by April....

Hoping I never look back and wish we'd taken that last iui...

Welcome back Barking so sorry you've had such a shitty time during the iui. Fx for the IVF. The nurse sounds like a good un. Interesting to hear about your friend. Beakypuppy is my little ray of sunshine at the moment

Tiger sounds like MrT is reflecting and giving it some serious though, good tactics lady I can well imagine that giving up alcohol is difficult for them, I know I find it difficult but honestly, it's not forever eh!

HB don't worry about that just focus on you. How are you feeling? Will you have a follow up?

Pip that sounds like an awful day. You are an unbelievably strong berry

Happy Smidge how are you both?

How's everyone else?

I'm doing ok thanks. Egg transfer is scheduled for 3 hours time. I'm still scared we won't have any blastos to use... But fingers are very firmly crossed.

Our car's airbag light kept going off and it's now at the garage awaiting parts... Which means I'll be getting 2 buses to and from the clinic. Not really my ideal plan I have to say. Much as AliG reckons it can't fall out (grain of sand in a peanut butter sandwich apparently) I would really rather not do much walking/ standing/ jerking about on a bus immediately after transfer! but maybe this will be what makes the difference this time round

I sent MrSmidge off to work without deodorant this morning coz they said no chemical perfumes etc. hope the little embryo doesn't mind a but of daddy odour instead

Happy haven't heard from you in ages. Hope you're doing well. Are you experiencing any symptoms?

Sorry to the berries having it tough at the moment. You are all so strong, I'm mighty impressed.

Good luck Smidge! In a few hrs you will be PUPO

Good luck smidge! what about getting a cab after?

barking asking the consultant for a view is sensible. I can't help but agree with you though, it shouldn't be that hard to forgo a few drinks. It is frustrating. Don't be too hard on yourself at the moment though - you are already doing everything right. You've been through a tough old time of it and shown incredible strength.

good luck smidge. grain of sand in a peanut butter sandwich is an image I'll not forget in a hurry!

Maybe jerking about in a bus will do the trick for implantation! Love your attitude Smidge! It's true that you can't control everything and sometimes you've just got to roll with it.

You must be out of ET and officially PUPO by now. Really hope it all went ok for you.

Nice to see you again Barking it sounds like it is the right time for you to move on to something else if IUI is starting to get on your nerves. Constantly arranging dates and timetables and going through all the tension of it frazzles the energy and nerves.

HB look after yourself. We are here as and when you might need us.
Pip well done on getting through a tough day. You are very brave, even though there is no choice really but to just keep going. Thinking of you.

Calling Jellie - if I am not mistaken then today is the day you head out to Prague! So long as you have Internet then the Berries will be with you all the way. Cheering you on and waving Eastern European style embroidered pompoms.

Textbook perfect tactics there with your DH Tiger. I'm impressed.

I am currently waiting for AF to show up and then fingers crossed we will get on with round one of stimming. I finished the norethisterone on Sunday, so AF should be here by the end of the week ( famous last words). It's been a real headache making absolutely certain that the FC has all our up to date test results and consent forms and getting the prescription through to the right place, but finally all signed off now, phew! And I've just paid for the first lot of drugs - ouch! They better be good at that price.

Beaky - more photos of Beakypup? pleeeaaase

Puppy training here at the moment, we just had a wee on the pad, yey!
Wild here you go, beakypup in her sleepy state..
Glad to hear things are moving forward for you too.

Jellie good luck for today! Check in when you can and let us know how you are doing!

Smidge how did it go? Pom-poms are ready!

Cute pup

Well you're right, I am officially PUPO but am a bit disappointed as the grading of our blasto was a 2:3, which is lower than both previous attempts. A bit disappointing given all the extra treatments have been about implantation, but if the embryo isn't high enough quality it might not be able to do its dividing thing, in which case implantation is a bit moot.

MrSmidge is taking the Mickey, play acting future conversations with little Smidge and me, saying he's always been a disappointment to me ever since he was only graded a 2:3 blasto... Ha ha v funny .

I did ask about putting two back (there's one that might become good enough for freezing but they weren't sure) but AliG still wanted just to go for one, given the extra treatment this time. I'd have still preferred two but after MrS's research the other week he's been put off the additional risks.

Anyway, I must put that all behind me and concentrate on nuturing this little bean. and to be clear, I'm not disappointed in my baby blasto itself, I'm very proud of it, I just want him/her to have the best chances

Good luck Jellie. Hope you have internet connection to keep us nosy berries up to date!

Yay to being PUPO Smidge! Sorry that conditions didn't seem ideal but at the end if the day I think it's largely just a numbers game. There are many people with perfect cycles and perfect blasts who fail to get a BFP.

Laughing at the time of transfer is supposed to be really good apparently as is a little gentle exercise as it gets the blood flowing to your womble, so maybe the bus trip home wasn't too bad after all. Make sure you get plenty of small walks in over the next couple of weeks and keep laughing if you can.

A mini update:

Happy - PUPO, OTD 16th but may test early
Beaky - IUI, OTD 25th?
Smidge - PUPO, OTD 24th?
Jelli - on way to Prague for DE IVF
Wild - hopefully start stimming at end of week
Tammy 2ww au naturale, AF due 18th (?)
Gill 2ww au naturale, AF due 22nd

Fingers crossed for you Smidge!

Can I ask what OTD means? It's the only one I can't work out! Something Test Date?

AF was due on 16th for me but because I'm pretty sure I ovulated late it's most likely due 20th. I don't have any pre-AF symptoms yet (always get these at least 1 week before, even on my one BFP cycle) which pretty much confirms it's the 20th so I fudged up the timing and am out for this month. Grrrrr.

OTD = official test date Tammy

Official! Of course! Well, now I just feel dumb

don't worry tammy I used to think it meant pupating or similar

pupo. not otd. sigh. I have been wondering about taking time off work with exhaustion. apparently more in need than I realised.

I thought exactly the same nolly! And then someone asked and I found out the truth (It's pregnant until proven otherwise for anyone who is lurking and doesn't know. At least I hope it is - now I'm doubting myself).

Ha Nolly pupating

Tammy I can never remember what otd means, I always think it's on the day?!? Dunno where that comes from.

Smidge yey to being PUPO!

Fx for all of the 2ww'ers.

I've been feeling really yuk these past few days, hope I'm not getting a bug! We have a house guest as well and whilst it's not a bother it's not really the best time. I also feel really weird about the whole IVF thing too and I've not been able to talk to MrBeak about it because we have the guest. Anyway sorry for the whinging I just felt I needed to get that off my chest! Thanks berries

beaky your pup is just the cutest! Hope you feel better soon. It must be difficult not being able to speak to your DH about the IVF, hope you find some space to talk it through soon.

smidge hope the embie is firmly wedged into your peanut butter sandwich! Lol at Mr Smidge too! Like the idea that laughing helps gill will have to think of some good jokes...

...actually I've got two words for you after my experience today: vaginal steaming yes it is a real thing! I have a bag of herbs in my handbag especially for the purpose!! God only knows how logistically this is workable but apparently a commode is the most practical thing to use like I have one lying around the place
Otherwise my Mayan abdominal massage was very nice and relaxing, although my tummy feels tender now, but apparently that is normal. I have some congestion on my right side in the intestine apparently. I am on a mission to be healthy and nurturing towards myself. Good diet, gentle exercise, plenty of sleep and relaxation to combat the craziness of work and the upheaval of moving.

wild fingers crossed af does as she should so you can get cracking!

jellie hope your travels go smoothly, and if you get the chance to peek in to Berry hq you'll see that we're all here pom-pomming away!

Hope everyone else is doing on?

*doing ok, even.

Tired fat fingers!

Womble -Lol

Peanut butter sandwich! - double Lol!

Smidge! Congratumalations on pupo status!

Beaky - beakypup is far Wooooooo cute!

Here i. Prague, fab today was sunny so we got here about 2ish went for a lovely walk, cake more walking and dinner! Now in for an early night!

Ec tomorrow! We've to report to the clinic at 9am for Mr B's bit and then we're getting the train to Vienna! Eeeeeeep this time tomorrow Barry white might have already done his stuff!