TTC a girl. What would you do?

[NewYorkDeli]

Hi,

I've been trying to conceive for a few months now. I track my fertility on an app and have been having sex usually a couple of days before ovulation up until the day of ovulation with no luck (although i'm not actually so sure how accurate this app is)

This month i'm using cheap ovulation tests, tested today and it's positive (according to the instructions this means I should ovulate in the next 24 hours)

Anyway DH and I had spontaneous sex on Friday night, didn't on Saturday night (too tired) but were planning to to tonight as we had our positive ovulation test.

The problem is, we would like a girl. We already have a Daughter. Our reasons for this is purely financial, it would be a lot easier due to hand me downs and I guess part of the reason is because we want DD to have a Sister, we figured she would probably grow to have a closer relationship with a Sister as opposed to a Brother. This could be a load of crap of course, but it's just out own experiences within our own family. I always said if I choose I would want either 2 girls or 2 boys. Never wanted one of each.

I know there'll be ladies on this board struggling to conceive at all, and I apologise if preferring one sex over the other is an emotive subject. I just feel a girl would be a better fit for us, although we would still be delighted with a Son if we are lucky enough to conceive at all.

Anyway, having briefly read up on Shettles method etc.. It appears the best bet for a girl is to not have sex too close to ovulation. I had sex two days before ovulation, and was planning sex on ovulation. Am I better off not having sex on tonight in order to increase my chances of conceiving a girl? Only thing is, I probably won't conceive at all if I only have sex two days before ovulation? Or do you think the best bet is just to have sex and leave it to fate?

When I had my 2nd child I wanted another girl but I realised that I had an equal chance of having a boy and that there was very little point in having a preference about something I had NO control over.
OP there is NOTHING you can do to ensure you get a girl so just give it up and have the baby you are meant to have and let go of the imaginary scenario in your head. Even of you DO have a girl the fantasy you have created is not guaranteed and you are setting yourself up for disappointment even if you manage to have a girl.

I have never seen a study which managed 55/45 even though. Happy to be corrected.

I think some of the comments here are a tad harsh but you have to expect, when posting in a forum where some ladies have been trying for months and years to conceive at all, that there are going to be stronger reactions to such a post.
To answer your question, it's supposedly the slower sperm to conceive a girl, the faster sperm conceive the boy.... BUT it is not guaranteed. I have a friend who was desperate for a girl... She got 3 boys, they tried the various 'girl' methods and hoped so much that her 3rd (and what was to be her last) would be the girl she had her heart set on. She was obviously heart broken and depressed that she got 'yet another' boy.
I had hoped for 2 boys, I found out I was pregnant and my only hope was that the baby was healthy. SHE was. With my 2nd, I admit, I hoped that as well as being healthy, that the baby would be a boy. Again, SHE was healthy. I have to admit, for about 10 mins, I was disappointed and it's something I still feel guilty about. She is absolutely perfect and I wouldn't have changed her for the world.
My point is, please don't be too hung up on what sex your baby is, it's really not important. Sisters can hate each other, just because you have 2 the same, doesn't mean they'll be close. A boy and a girl can just as easily be close. I have to say I think the whole 'hand me down' issue feels more of an excuse. Have you looked at the facebook for sale pages, pre loved, gum tree etc, you can get massive job lots of clothing for tiny amounts of money, you too can sell your dd's clothes that are no longer needed too.
We're soon to be trying for our 3rd, I keep asking myself if I'd prefer a boy or a girl and I have no idea, A boy would be amazing as we don't have one, but a girl would be equally amazing as we already have 2 we adore.
Any baby, no matter it's sex OR gender, is a blessing.

That is fair enough purplelilly - if people accept that as an acceptable question, then I accept I am in a minority, as you state, neither rightly not wrongly. But I must admit that I am genuinely shocked at reading these posts that so many people have 'preferences' - I appear to be blissfully ignorant to this thank goodness. spam is completely right in her first paragraph, and perhaps this post would have been more suitable in the AIBU threads. The OP should understand that nobody posting on this site will be able to give her a definite answer, and neither will any other site. So suck it up and be grateful. I was upset reading this post for myself and for other people, but neither did I wish to offend anybody else. I was merely showing the view of the less fortunate which I believe to be completely acceptable and understandable. I do not wish that OP doesn't have further children as other commenters may have, but I do hope that this post encourages her to question whether she would prefer 2 children of the same sex or no further children at all. I suspect the latter but that is personal opinion. Also be tactful enough in future to REALLY consider other people who are very vulnerable reading this.

A quick google of the Shettles Method shows it was disproven in the 90s by peer reviewed scientific articles.

As an aside you more likely to conceive a boy if you are living with your partner than not...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15556894

Why should this be in the AIBU she wasn't asking weather having a preference was unreasonable but if a method worked. So is in the right place. If people are having trouble TTC the title is pretty clear that someone is TTC with a preference, so no need to click on this thread surely.

People are allowed to have a slight preference it's human nature, I only object when it goes too far and gets sinister like selective terminations or holding one sex above another in importance and parenting them with this in mind.

But idly stating you have a leaning to a gender isn't an issue. Nor is asking if what time of your cycle you have sex has any correlation to the gender of the baby.

*whether

Penguins you haven't been looking in the right places

Do you have a link?

It's purely academic. I'm done having babies.

OP, some of the comments aimed at you are disgusting. Prior to conceiving, every parent will have had a gender preference (and dreams!) at some point - whether it's wanting one of each, or indeed two girls - and each person's reason will be personal to them. Why do you think there are so many websites dedicated to a variety of (most likely questionable!) methods to conceive a particular sex, and indeed ones that people will willingly make payment to access? Of course you will love your child regardless of its sex once it arrives, and as many other posters realise, once the conception game starts and the reality sets in that this is hard, every mother's collective desired outcome is (usually) a healthy baby - girl or boy.

thank you beebee the way some posters are carrying on you would think I was expressing hatred towards baby boys. Ridiculous.

beebee you will note that not EVERY parent will prefer anything other than a healthy baby and it would be ignorant for anybody to assume so. An example waving at you right here waves I clearly state that I have never had a preference. I have a DC who I never had a gender preference for, a child that I lost that I never had a gender preference for, and I am now with great difficultly TTC. I can assure you now that I do not have a gender preference. Therefore your statement is incorrect. I have checked my precious posts for malice or nastiness to OP and find none. Neither do I see any posts that any commenters believe OP has a hatred towards baby boys. Dillusional, tactless and inconsiderate maybe but no hatred towards baby boys!
Conscience clear and out.

BB13 No, the way certain posters are carrying on, you would think I was expressing hatred towards baby boys. I didn't say anyone had implied that. I would totally understand posters reacting that way if that is what I had said, but infact what I did say was that I have a slight preference. Nothing tactless or inconsiderate about that. My conscience is also clear.

BB113 my comment wasn't necessarily aimed at you. I'm sorry for your difficulty and I wish you all the luck in the world. I was pointing out to OP that it's not uncommon for parents to have a preference, and also that there wouldn't be a business for sex selection online if there weren't a significant number of people with a preference to begin with, so she shouldn't feel bad.

I used Dr Shettles method twice and it worked both times. I would have loved whatever I got but didn't see there was anything to lose by swaying the odds!

You don't know it 'worked '. You had pretty good underlying odds

I do get how emotive such discussions can be (my own experience includes TTC my first for a year, and I remember how long that felt)
And I know how lucky I have been in the end (with a dd and a ds)

But I also think it's only natural to take an interest in how our own bodies may conceive a boy or a girl, and what things might affect which sex we conceive. Also quite understandable to me that anyone might have a slight preference towards one sex or the other for any particular pregnancy depending on circumstances.

All the best to you NewYorkDeli - and all the best of luck to anyone else on the thread looking for some good fortune

Maybe I'm missing something here... But if the faster sperm create boys, then wouldn't all babies be boys? All sounds a bit like bollocks to me tbh.

Kinky. Girl sperm lives longer but swims slower, where as boy sperm swims faster but dies quicker,
So the earlier on in the cycle a child is concieved the more likely it is to be a girl, However saying that though. I concived my d.d on c.d 15,therefore going by science I should have had a boy, so I think it's just down to whatever God blesses you with

I don't think you can do anything, what will be will be.

I like the Chinese gender chart but take it with a pinch of salt. Good luck trying though.

Friend has 7 dc, 4 boys, 3 girls. The boys were first and she was desperate for a girl. She did research, joined forums etc this is what she did.

Ate no crisps, salty stuff, potatoes, ready meals, meat ( I think ) switched to loads of dairy, yoghurt, milk etc, had frequent sex from her last period up until ovulation, her DH had hot baths before sex and she had no orgasm ( not quite sure how she managed that but hey ho! ) she took a cough medicine to thin her cervical mucous as she believes that it's the environment the sperm is in entails whether the boy or girl sperm lives. Ewcm favours boys and no mucous favours girls.

It worked 3 times and she swears by it.

You get what you're given. I had 7 girls in a row and then two boys.

I have a baby DS. He has three older sisters, 9, 8 and 6 who adore him. Recycling clothes only works if the subsequent child is the same size during the correct seasons. Summer dresses are not very practical in winter. Plus you have to be super organised to check your stock of stored clothes frequently or you end up missing stuff that becomes too small too quickly. It's cute for photo opportunities but not actually that practical, fashions change and new clothing is very cheap anyway. Your reasoning is not sound. Your methods are very dubious. Good luck.

I also agree that this thread is in the wrong place.