Dear Santa, we've been a bit naughty in all the right ways, & given our husbands plenty of lays, we don't need presents under our tree's, we'd all be happy to get BFPs!! Love the Viroids....JSing 34!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 33 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2237187-The-home-of-sporn-lovers-and-cunthawks-make-sure-the-ewcm-is-coming-from-the-right-hole-and-don-your-capes-but-dont-put-parsley-up-your-chuff-for-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-33?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2243337-Hop-aboard-the-good-ship-JS-Grads-for-its-sweet-16th-pregnancy-party-Don-your-party-hats-grab-a-bouncy-ball-and-quaff-copious-amounts-of-raspberry-leaf-to-celebrate-our-coming-of-age" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

No idea re nipple veins. I'm pale too but don't normally have them yet now and then I do see they are more prominent.

Got proper munchies on! And I'm aching like crazy from kick boxing last night.

Kick boxing kez! Wow I'm impressed. I can manage zumba but I still look like a dick.
Pilates sounds good too honey.

The only exercise I get is shagging like the good JSer that I am! Although I do have a pretty physical job which I would love to tell you about but pretty sure I'd get outed..

I'm coffee coloured as my DP describes me and I've never had blue nipples?

Oo I'm intrigued indigo tell tell! ;) we are POAS buddies after all lol

I've wanted to do kick boxing for years but never did it. Wasn't until this year that I said 'right I'm going to start!'. I love it! No idea how I'll still do it if when I fall pregnant.

Beats the gym anyway. Although I still pay membership with the full intention of going £30 wasted each month

indigo don't tease!!

I have an office job (accounts manager) so I'm sat on my backside all day.

indigo are you a tree surgeon? If I guess right you have to say so.

jelly coffee coloured yummmmm you sound delicious.

It's not I don't want you to know! It's just it's not that common and would out me. But then I'm guessing hoping no one I know reads this thread anyway. Ok what the hell, I trim horses' feet. Don't do put shoes on them, I just do what's called a "barefoot trim". There aren't all that many of us so if someone has read where I live and also this, there aren't many other folk it can be!

I've never heard of that before indigo. I bet that's quite a dangerous job really?

Well all the ones I do are pretty good because I'm picky, but I have no fucking idea am concerned about how I will manage if I get upduffed.. It's basically bending over all day!

Oh that will prove quite a task months into pregnancy!

U will have to sit on a stool or something? realises this may sound stupid but I've never touched a horses foot before

Blimey! Horses creep me out a bit. They are so huge! You are so brave. I just sit at my desk pretending I know what I'm talking about, taking vast sums of money from people and never actually seeing any of it!

gaggia I'm not that exotic lol. Half Turkish, quarter Chinese, quarter English. A right mongrel lol!

Sounds really interesting! Wouldn't it be great if you one day did La's pony? Maybe you met already and didn't realise.

jelly!

Ooooh Jelly! That's an interesting mix and a half! I'm half and half English Welsh. DH is Yank and Irish. Our poor kids.

The horse I used to have used to love having her feet done. She'd pick them up ready for the farrier and stand there with her foot in the air and a smug look on her face like she was having her nails done at a salon. Used to make me laugh every time! :)

zyla those are the ones I hang onto with all my heart!!

Yep maybe I've done las horse before but I doubt it as think she's a good bit further south than me! It's not that scary really, I only do nice ones. I do about 250 regulars so I'm full time

I could definitely sit on a stool with my quieter ones kez!

My horse is barefoot :) until he went in loan and loan home shod him but not much I can do about that :(

He's lusitano and has(d) fab feet! Barefoot trimming is a really skilled career, very hard to find a good farrier with knowledge and skill to do it and it's usually best to go to a barefoot specialist(which I presume you are indigo?) Mine charges me a fiver coz he hardly needs to do them but some charge a fortune.

Nope you've not done my bit unless you are bald and in your 60s with a hunched back :) I love my farrier, I really miss chatting with him since horsey went

I'm sad because I don't think I'm going to be able to bring my horse back for long time. I just can't afford both :(

Wow. Lots for me to catch up on... I've just read through 10 pages!

I'll have to actually type a proper message another time - I'm shattered and need to get some sleep. It's been a very long day!!!

But... first off... Congrats La !!!!

Okay... time to try and sleep.

Yep I'm a barefoot specialist. I qualified 6 years ago. It's a great job and I have some super clients. I don't do any lusos but I do some PRE's including a stallion and they generally have great tight feet with little flare, good concavity and sole thickness. The only problem can sometimes be they get contracted in the heels a bit. That's a shame they felt the need to shoe him. If he's got good feet to begin with they will probably stand up to it fine. I'm not a zealot btw, I work in a trimming cooperative and our ethos is very much inclusive, we aren't "all shoes are evil". Have some great relationships with local vets and farriers. I've got all sorts of clients, from affiliated BE competitors to happy hackers and chronic laminitics.

But it's SO not a job for an upduffed viroid!!!! never mind coz I'm incapable of getting upduffed

Can horses not lay on their backs? You know like with their feet in the air? Like dogs? realised once again this is probably a stupid question

Time to give my pillow some head as DH is on the playstation

G'night

I know - they didn't have a choice to be fair it's more stony and he was stumbling. I'll just take them off when he comes back to me. I'm a 'if they need it' horse owner - I put welfare first, but I was just a bit sad as he had perfect luso feet. She loves him to bits though and I'm lucky to have found a good loan home.

I'm the same with rugging - fine if they need it but I hate over rugging! It really annoys me when I visit my horse and he has a rug on on a summers day 'to keep him clean'.

That's a really interesting job but yes not good for pregnancy! Problem with a stool would be not being able to move quickly if horse decided to lash out unexpectedly. Hmm...

I work with animals too but in a more hands off role.