Dear Santa, we've been a bit naughty in all the right ways, & given our husbands plenty of lays, we don't need presents under our tree's, we'd all be happy to get BFPs!! Love the Viroids....JSing 34!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 33 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2237187-The-home-of-sporn-lovers-and-cunthawks-make-sure-the-ewcm-is-coming-from-the-right-hole-and-don-your-capes-but-dont-put-parsley-up-your-chuff-for-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-33?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2243337-Hop-aboard-the-good-ship-JS-Grads-for-its-sweet-16th-pregnancy-party-Don-your-party-hats-grab-a-bouncy-ball-and-quaff-copious-amounts-of-raspberry-leaf-to-celebrate-our-coming-of-age" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Indigo I am fairly certain that come Thursday you will be the one with the BFP!

I think the odds of that happening are slim to zero! I've got no sickness, no heightened sense of smell, pre AF cramps and the same excess cm I get before AF. Just hoping she stays away a few more days so my luteal phase isn't too short, I only iced on cd19 and this is my first month of tracking icing contrabanding so my first chance to see the length of my lp.

That's why I'm sure you will get it! I'm setting myself up for these symptoms to be all in my head lol!

oh jelly I really really hope we're all right!! and for you indigo too, you could be one who just simply doesn't get early symptoms.

well, no chance of a shag tonight viroids, DH has just very shittily woken me up from my doze on the settee mightily pissed off with me because "he's shattered too" and declared he's going to cook his and dsd's tea himself and is banging round the kitchen very loudly!! I know not to go near him when he's like this so I'm sulking in the bathtub and wondering how early I leave for my 7.30 meal :-/
I didn't fall asleep on purpose!! this is the 3rd day in a row I haven't been able to keep my eyes open and the 1st time I've let it win! gggrrrrrr at moody men!

It has been freezing today gaggia - winter is well on its way! Saying that we've also had an amazing sky this morning and evening. Purplely-reddy-orangey.

Purplely is a new colour by the way....

Zero symptoms of anything over here. Although the puppies are looking all veiny again. Not getting my hopes up on that alone though as it seems to be a regular occupancy with no reason behind it!

It is freezing!

Question, when people are dating how far along they are, eg 7+5, when does the timing start from? Reason says it's from when they iced, but I've seen a few folk saying how far along they are, and it seems as though they must be counting from further back than that?

Kh feeling wiped out as you describe was one of my first symptoms. GX crossed and enjoy your night out without Mr Grumpy!

Some of you lot must be preggers with all these symptoms flying around!

I'm on CD 24, tits are huge and v sore, bloated, eating for England and desperate to POAS but resisting urge! Am sure it's just PMS as I'm like this every month. Anyone POAS on Sunday like me?

Indigo I thought it was from the date of start of last period?

It is freezing! And i also had a nap. But such that i just woke up and haven't done dinner. Will be re-heating left overs.

Also have ewcm. Yay! Need to go poaopk in a minute then get ready for brownies. We're doing pilates tonight. Lovely.

That's what I'm wondering mustbe but it doesn't make sense. You aren't growing a baby while you are bleeding, so why do they count it from then? Maybe it's because they don't know when everyone ices? But they could safely assume at least until cd6/7 that you aren't icing surely and count from then?

I think it's also because you can't be sure when you conceive.

commander congratulations!

Indigo you date from the 1st day of your last period so you're actually 2 weeks pregnant before you're actually pregnant (if that makes sense).

Having a grumpy evening. Was going to attempt a la style stealth shag before leaving for work last night and tonight but the blinking trains have been late so I've left just before DH gets home both evenings.

Thanks sunshine it makes sense but it doesn't! I suppose it's a way for them to be accurate but weird they class those initial weeks as part of it, as you aren't actually pregnant

It is pretty strange. On the plus side it means you're actually waiting 38 weeks and not really 40 for a baby to be cooked.

is that why they allow 2 weeks before they induce labour? that would make sense. I suppose soamy pregnancies happen without this contraband nonsense yeah I wish!

I left at 6 lol, he just mumbled "bye" definitely in one! called in to see my mum and now sat outside the pub waiting for one of my ladies to turn up. am brave enough to walk in on my own, just not half an hour early lol x

After 2 weeks post term your statistically more likely to have a placenta that can't support the baby properly, hence why they get evicted!

kh try to enjoy your evening out... Don't let anyone being grumpy bring you down.

mustbe I will POAS on Sunday with you! The witch is due on Monday for me so even if she decides to come late, I should still be within the daY's enough for a bfn no doubt something to show

Yay a pissing partner! Thanks Kez

Now to resist temptation until Sunday!

Christ OH wants another shag tonight! It's CD 24 FFS - I'm 43 and need a bloody rest!

Here's a question. Would you still get blue veins on your preggers hooters if you have a darker skin tone? Or is it only really pale people who get them? I've never had it because I'm a naturally ghostly pale blue tinged viroid anyway.

Evening viroids! My there's a lot of symptom spotting on here today.. Hooyahs all round!

Gx for testing this week - still very much of the opinion that this is a lucky Fred.

You date pg from first day of last period, which is why I had dating scan because I never had period after mc. So they had to estimate date. So yes technically you're upduffed whilst af! It makes no sense to me and when I first got bfp I rang dr and told them I was 3 weeks. She said it was much too early to see mw. I had to very shamedly phone back and says oops I meant 5 weeks!

Not sure Gaggia, i have never seen an example of this phenomenon. Would you go extra blue? Or navy?

Man, pilates is hard work!

Just had a bath to try and tempt the witch along. Also treated myself to a kit kat. Might see if Dp is up for a little mid week action as well. I am desperate here!

Because af is so late I've had to cancel my monthly wax and a smear test. Aunt F has no idea how much she has inconvenienced me this month (although postponing a smear test = not the worst thing in the world).

La, you'd think they would check, what with cb saying 3+ weeks. If it really was three weeks medically speaking, you'd only just been implanted. Doctors mistake i think!