First fertility appointment - questionairre

[letitpea]

Hello,

We have been TTC for around 2 years, and have our first fertility appointment this week. We have been sent a form to complete with various questions. One of the questions is have i been pregnant before and what was the outcome? Well, I have been, around 15 years ago, and had a termination. Before meeting my husband.

My husband doesn't know about this. We are attending the appointment together, and I really don't know what to do. The termination was part of a very difficult time in my life that I have not really spoken to him about, and would rather not now. The fertility issues are with him it seems, and I do feel that if he know I had got pregnant before it would bother him (the problems are bothering him enough as it is)

So, what do I do? Obviously I want to be honest on the form but surely they should know these details anyway?

Can you contact the people who sent the questionnaire and ask their advice, it surely can't be the first time they have had this (I remember finding it unfair that they expected us to be so open when we filled out the forms, I've very open but if DH had ever got a lady pregnant before we met I know that would have been a very hard thing for him to talk to me about)

Yes, you do definitely need to be honest on the form. Your termination wouldn't necessarily been shared between different nhs organisations. If you have a different GP to the one you had 15 years ago, I suspect your GP doesn't even know because even if they have your complete medical history I doubt they have read it back 15 years.

I don't wish to stick my nose in about why you don't tell your husband, so I hope you don't take this the wrong way. Having children throws up a whole heap of emotions and things that happened in your past can have a way of becoming more relevant. And i don't necessary mean in the first few months after the birth. I mean in the years that follow and how your relationship will evolve with your husband. Would it really be that terrible to tell him? It was a long time ago and you are married and he loves you.

Good luck at the appointment and I'm sure if you very much do want to keep it secret, they can note it on your records which he will never see.