The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
   
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
   
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
   
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
   

JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!

[Leela5]

Bit scared about fertility clinic

[Khbutterfly11]

oh la what's scaring you? gx for you but i'm positive it will all be fine and helpful

[Khbutterfly11]

sorry, didn't really mean what's scaring you, it is all pretty scary, i kinda meant, is there something specific!? hope you're ok

[DulcetMoans]

Wow la. That was commitment, you've put me to shame. I
Just can't do that kind of epic catch up on my phone in a tea room (with DHsecretly fuming I am on the phone!)

I had a couple of candles on FB chat, was nice but weirdly couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe next year.

We can't do hot countries either honey, DH will melt. He can't handle it and then I can't handle him. Only shame is I would like to go to Egypt. But that's how we end up in York! Do you have staycations?

tink, think I a oving today or yesterday so we can get each other through TWOT. Mini hooya to start - no symptoms already!

Sorry your DH is putting off his appointment with the cup bother, I had to help mine in the end... Could consider that? He didn't feel so alone then but was mad dash to hospital.

Got to go, DH moaning. Would be even more annoyed if he could read that!

[jellypi3]

Hope you don't get too nervous la :( I bet it's scary though!

Thanks for the advice ladies. It's me that's umming and ahhing, not him. He is all up for it (though did say last night my AF returning came at the worst time bless him) so I think we will carry on. It's not a finances thing per se (although that's also a consideration). Thanks for the advice though!

I love hot countries, luckily both DF and I are good in the heat (me more so than him). Honeymoon planning will be exciting!!!

[Leela5]

Bit scared about what outcome is going to be. I've had all the tests already, so this will be chat about next steps

dulcet I couldn't do cand me thing either. Spoke to my mare who said it took her a year to get to point of doing that

[Leela5]

Mr La loves being too hot. He is weird!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Good luck in clinic La, hopefully you'll know what next steps are after today.

Bother I'd have slapped him - you showed much restraint. Loving the bacon

[Leela5]

That was a total waste of time :(

If I hadn't got pregnant she said she could have helped us earlier but because I got pregnant it's put us back and we have to wait til we have been trying 2 years. Got to go back in spring.

Also I've got to stop timing dtd around ovulation and try to stop worrying.

Trying to conceive sucks ass. That's my mature adult response to the situation.

Apparently also I shouldn't have been ttc this month as I am more likely to have another mc. That's not what they told me at the hospital which is why we've been trying. Great.

[ChatEnOeuf]

Jury very much still out on ttc straight after a mc, so I wouldn't beat yourself up. My JSing philosophy has always been EOD from when the witch drives off until she's due back in town. Seems to have served me reasonably well so far. Sorry she wasn't more useful/sympathetic

[honeysucklejasmine]

Oh La! Words fail me!

[wilmabedrock]

Lala, that's ridiculous, sorry they're being so shit. These rules are crazy.

[gaggiagirl]

Im back. Huge sad face.

Had a mc today at 8+5 it was blood of epic proportion. Back home from.hospital and back to the home of the shagging viroids xx

[honeysucklejasmine]

Oh Gaggia I am so sorry! How are you coping?

Today is not a good day in Viroid land.

[Leela5]

Noooo gaggia! Oh bless you sweetheart I'm so sorry xxx

:(

Make sure you rest, I hope you've got someone there with you. Any time you need someone to talk to or vent to send me a message. Massive hug x

[TinkerBlue]

Gaggia I am so so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family xxx

[glidingpig]

Oh gaggia, how completely awful, I'm so sorry. :(

[RPopz]

Loving your epic posts today La Sorry the app was a disappointment... I honestly can't believe that attitude Hugs x

Gaggia I'm so sorry Xxx

[ChatEnOeuf]

:( So sorry Gaggia Sending you and Mr G a big cuddle.

[mountaingirl01]

Blimey la! I might lie at my next one then..

Gaggia, I'm so sorry, that's just bloody awful.

Off to work, but will catch up on everything tomorrow :)

[gaggiagirl]

Thanks lovely ladies.
Im ok no pain. Mr g is awesome. I have to go back on monday to hosp don't know what will happen.

You lot always cheer me up though.

[BothersomeB]

My god life can be a cruel bastard. gaggia i'm so sorry.
and la - what a massive load of horse balls. The lack of understanding shown in your treatment is epic - 'you've had a miscarriage so we're going to penalise you and tell you not to worry'! Whatever.

[lildottie]

gaggia there are no words. just for you and a massive hug.

la try not to take what they said too seriously. wtf is that about not timing sex around ov?! I've never heard anything so absurd! as for the not trying this month sounds more like an opinion than scientific fact. I assume all your tests were ok? so as you said the contraband showed you that you were missing ov and you've taken action for the lp hopefully you'll get that pre crimbo bfp. do you have to go back to go in spring or can you go straight back to clinic? did you get to ask about the lp stuff?

[honeysucklejasmine]

We're back on track. Lots of tears and a late night shag. Small happiness.

[Khbutterfly11]

gaggia big hugs! small
mercy's that you're not in pain and mr g is being good!

la big fat hairy pants to all that!!! what balls!!! I say ignore everything they said and shag away!! xx