Having a second baby whilst on benefits?

[FlowersOnTheWindowSeal]

No judgement please.

I have one PFB DD aged 4 and desperately want another baby I had a ectopic 7 months ago and all though that baby wasn't planned and my DP left me I wanted it so much, I was happy and content with it. I'm back with my DP now and he's promised to never leave again but doesn't want children for years yet, but I just can't stop thinking about the baby that was suppose to be here and the fact that I want another one SO badly!

I'm ashamed to admit it but I stopped taking my pill which he doesn't know about in hoping I'd fall pregnant, even though he may leave and I'm still in IS from my DD as I fell pregnant at 17.

I don't know what to do i want this so badly :( but I'm scared of getting judged for having DC #2 whilst on IS and with a different father for the baby

He doesn't wear condoms (presumably ever if contraception is a woman's job?). You've been 'stable' for 7 months. On the basis that you didn't pick him up at a local monastery, I sincerely hope you both had a full set of STI checks before you decided to sleep together.

Tricking someone into fatherhood even if he's a bloody idiot not to take some responsibility of his own is a shitty thing to do. The reason you're ashamed is because you know it's a shitty thing to do.

What about your DD in all this? If you jump into this it could work out, but it could also end with you stuck on benefits with two small children while DP buggers off again. You have time on your side to cement your relationship, find work and provide stability before adding more kids.

You do realise that your partner will dump you as soon as you get pregnant, don't you OP. If he left you before I can guarantee he'll do it again. You're being very unfair to your daughter and if you get pregnant you are also being unfair to your next baby. Keep in mind they will someday turn into stroppy teenagers and by gad they're going to have so much dirt to throw into your face if you do this.

Unemployed, single mum through choice is a dam sight worse that a girl/woman that is in that situation because of circumstances beyond their control. Never mind waiting until your little girl grows up a bit, how about waiting until YOU grow up. Sorry to be harse OP but you don't seem to want to listen to those that have a lot of good advice for you.

There is a lot to judge here op.

Don't be shocked if he promptly dumps you upon finding out you've trapped him into parenthood.

May be wrong but think there may be a link stis can cause tube issues which could cause ectip pg.
Either way STI??
You cant always have what you want. 1/x babies will have disabilities.
Your partner dpesnt want a baby.
Was the first an accident or was that on purpose too.

I think people should have kids young- but only if they want them. Both of them.
You will most likely have lots of partners in the next few years. Why make this 1 into the one?

If my SIl had had lids with all bf there would be about 10 by now.

I am only 1 of 2 couples we know who have been together since 20.
You will likely be alone with 2 kids- you may be ok with that but what about the Dads but mainly the kids. How selfish to choose that for a child.
Also condoms should be the first choice if you catch something truly nasty who will look after the DC?