40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

kiwi Agree with awomb - brown is better than red! And being sick is good! (There will never be another place where you can say that).
I don't know if they will do the amnio if you are bleeding, could you call and ask about that? They might then say to come in for a scan, to see what's going on...

I've had a very similar bleed in my last pregnancy, at around 7 weeks, and when they scanned me, they were actually able to locate the area where it was coming from, which was really reassuring. (And just to stress, this bleed was neither a sign nor a cause for my subsequent mc!).

Hope you get some answers soon!

last minute Wait at least until your AF would be due, then test again!

Kiwi, I think you should get a private scan.The wait and see approach is just rubbish! You may have a placenta previa or any other condition which needs taking it easy, lying in bed etc. I feel your midwife is not taking this pregnancy seriously at all!

As for amnio, in my country they would not do it if you bled, there are less invasive tests to get assurance than risking a bleeding pregnancy with more intervention. It was written on my amnio prescription last time I was lucky to be so pg that I needed it.....

Being off work in the tww is not all it's cracked up to be...... I've just googled my due date if I got pregnant this month. Well, I've got to plan my summer hols!! Aaaaaahhhhhh the TTC craziness

Ha ha Grizz I did that too this cycle. Think it will be July some time, same month as my partners.

My OV monitor actually agreed I OVed this month, finally! However it thinks I OVed before my opks showed a positive. Stupid bloody thing. Got some impressive temp rises though so am hoping my day 21 (17) on Friday will show a decent Progesterone number.

How you doing Kiwi?

Looks like AF is coming for me. This is the second month in a row where I've had bleeding on day 25, followed by nothing, then a proper period on the right day. Feeling despondent and full of regret that we didn't go all out years ago.

Hello, I just stumbled across this thread and as somebody who has conceived both children over 40, can empathise! One tip I read was when TTC, the older the sperm, the more chance it has to fertilise the egg so to DtD five days before your predicted ovulation will increase the likelihood.

Bit more information on what I just posted, it came from this book and was called the recipe for getting pregnant

'Take Charge of your Fertility' by Heather Welford.

Have sex after your period has ended, abstain until 14 days before your next period, then again 48 hours later. Apparently its to do with the mature sperm being more able to penetrate the egg because they are better at penetrating it.

Just a quick hello before bed from me, and keeping everything crossed for Kiwi. I had pink blood, fading to brown, then pink again for 4 days with my last pregnancy and all fine. It is such a good sign that you are still feeling symptoms, but truly understand how you must be feeling xxx
Well done gum for steeping away from the opk aisle ...ebay never closes though

Hi Deige. I know all about ebay, I'm one of their best customers! However, I am stepping away from most things related to ttc. I am still charting, but I keep forgetting to take my temperature. I do like that charting takes most of the guessing out of it (although last month is an example of where it didn't, I had a very long luteal phase - unusual but not unheard of).

cerealqueen, I am fascinated by what you've said. There I was thinking that I needed to be having sex close to O time, that my DH's sperm might be a bit like him - old and tired - and that I'd need to have them there as close to O time as possible. So maybe I'll make a bigger effort this month, just in terms of having sex further out from Ovulation, as well as nearer to, to keep all bases covered.

Kiwi -how are you?

I am feeling totally shattered today. Big thunderstorm last night with wild lightning and loud thunder which disturbed my sleep. That on top of a very full-on day yesterday - meeting after work, then swimming lessons for DS, got home at 7 pm. I know for some that is a normal working day, I honestly don't know how they do it. To top it off, my dad has heard more about his prostrate cancer, and although there's been no spread, it is aggressive and large, and he'll have an operation to remove it and the lymph nodes. It means there will be nerve damage. I know he and my mum are feeling very scared and vulnerable, it is worrying me a bit. I will go up to the city when he has the op to give mum some support.

I hope everyone else is having a good day.Love to all.

Keep meaning to catch up properly, but just caught the last couple of posts ...

Kiwi hope your bleeding is settling. Like Gum and others have said, lots of women have bleeding in pregnancy and it turns out to be nothing - so fingers crossed. With my DD I had a bad bleed at 10 weeks (subchorionic haematoma) and then a few bleeds in the second tri that consultant termed 'placental edge bleeds' - with two you could see where it came from on scans and others not. I was just unlucky in that respect, but DD was absolutely fine, unlike my nerves which were shredded to bits. I don't know what I'd have done if I'd had an amnio scheduled, probably tried to get advice about whether to postpone it to a later date, as others have said already. (Although I think consultants use ultrasound to guide amnios, don't they?)

Cereal and Gum - just to pick up on the point about having sex well before O. I for one am convinced there's something in that. DD was conceived first month of DTD every other day from day 8 through 16. When we started TTC again we had a half-hearted attempt at Shettles method to 'sway' for a boy. (Please don't judge, my MC has ensured I'm well over that now.) Anyway, we spent about 3 months having sex ONLY just after positive OPK - the smiley face ones, so no guessing.

Then from a chat with a gynaecologist about maybe doing some mild superovulation I learnt (a) LH can take about 24 hours to be detected in your wee, (b) sperm have to undergo a process of 'capacitation' after ejaculation before being capable of fertilising egg, which can take 10 hours-ish, (c) egg might only be viable for as little as 10 hours, or at least nothing like the 24 hours you see mentioned sometimes. All summarised by basically getting it in early (i.e. well before positive OPK)!

The next month we tried every day from CD9 - 13 and BFP. Sadly baby was too beautiful for earth, but at least we maybe got it partly right.

Luck to everyone.

Phew, that's tough about your dad Gum, though very good news that it's not spread. You must all be feeling very anxious .

Yes, interesting about the old sperm stuff. With dc6 who was unexpected shall we say, I had only dtd once, on day 3 of my cycle, and that must have been enough...hardly what I would have done if actually ttc-ing! Does make you think though.

I was reading on another thread about soy and its effects on egg quality . Not too sure about it but though it worth a mention here - lots of success stories!
kiwi how are things today? xx

Hope all is well with you kiwi

Interesting, the 'older' sperm theory. I guess that the idea of the SMEP concept takes that into account because if you follow the plan, you'd have sperm of every age deposited in the right place for ovulation...

However, from my personal experience, I have only ever fallen pregnant if we dtd on ovulation, and/or the day before... So I'm not sure dtd earlier would work for me. I've tried SMEP, and it was just too exhausting.

Having said all that, I have currently really lost my mojo, so I will be definitely be out this month. OV happened quite a lot earlier than expected on CD10/11 (normally I'm a regular for CD13/14), and I spectacularly missed the boat - simply because I just could not muster the motivation for dtd
I'm not sure what worries me more - my shifting ovulation or my lack of pazzazz...

To top things off, next month will be out as well, as I am going away to visit my sister in Germany, just when I am supposed to ovulate. Hmmm...I might give the theory above another thought after all

Gum, sorry was shattered when I last posted, but did mean to send for your dad. It must be so stressful for you all. Far from the news you wanted, I'm sure, but at very least its operable and hasn't spread. I don't pretend to understand the implications of nerve damage, but fingers crossed it will be kept to a minimum. x

Cloud if this month is out for you, maybe next month you could prove two theories in one go? Start DTD around day 3 (like Diege) then take your 'old' sperm away on holiday and forget all about TTC. Return from Germany to find BFP. Wouldn't that be great!

Evening all!

Lots going on here again! Can't keep up with it all.

Kiwi how are you doing? What's the latest?

Gum so sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope he gets the best treatment possible. How about your Mum? Mine goes a bit loopy like yours at times like this. Makes the whole scenario very difficult to deal with.

Loving the sperm workshop/revision class on here. Might print out to show to DH. Thanks for getting that going, cereal. Have you any more gems for us? Are you doing to join us for TTC #3? Particularly interested in hearing DC6 conceived on day 3, Diege. I can't imagine how that is possible,(perhaps you have a short visit from AF? No need to answer that!! ) but you have the proof in your arms!! Isn't Welford's advice though, apart from DTD immediately after AF stops, of aiming for 14 days before your next period the same as 2 days before ovulation anyway? And 12 days before is when you should ovulate? So it's not that dissimilar from SMEP? Or have I misunderstood?

Chewy interesting that your gynae says eggs only survive about 10 hours post ovulation. Defo need to get in before that +opk reading. And what exactly was the point about the LH surge/24 hours? That they only pick up the LH surge just as you ovulate?

Cloud that's annoying, ovulating much earlier than expected. I hope you get your Mojo back soon. Have you tried Agnus Castus?

Loving the tip of shutting DC in bedroom with ipad while you DTD. This morning managed to wake before DS and were working on a quickie but the shouts of 'Daddeeeeee' 'Daddddddeeeee' over the baby monitor got too much for it to be a success!!

I think the Agnus Castus is paying off. Started mid-last cycle. PMS seemed milder. This cycle ovulation seems to be delayed by a day or two. That seems like a good thing to me. I have more energy to DTD, in advance of OPK smiley. Am hoping that a couple more days for the egg to mature must be a good thing. Perhaps I'm clutching at straws? At least DH didn't get smashed the day before ovulation this month!!

Time for bed! Busy day tomorrow. Love to all.

Just posting some as there are some heart-wrenching stories on here in amongst the top tips. chewy especially made me and I know there are plenty of others. Ladies, I admire your strength!!

Lots of excellent advice here. Just when I think I've learnt it all, I haven't really! And then what it does is gets me excited about ttc. Of course it isn't going to make my eggs any younger...but I am ever the optimist!

So I am very pleased that Dh and I got the ball rolling (LOL) last night, and he wants to try a "7 days of sex" thing...I told him I was willing to give it a go, energy permitting. It would be perfect timing for ovulation.

diege I am curious about the soy. Must go and find that thread.

I wonder how kiwi is going? I hope all is well.

Actually, diege, my first pregnancy I only had sex on day 7 of my cycle (boyfriend lived in another city,so I could pinpoint it) and got upduffed. T'was very young though, so super fertile I imagine.

Hello everyone...I've been reading this thread as I myself am 45...I already have 4 beautiful children...3 of which would be classed as young adults...my dp is younger than me with no children... and would dearly love 1 of our own...I'm a bit worried I'm getting too old to conceive naturally...but we did the ovk a little over 2weeks ago...and he travelled back from work to dtd as he works away and we only see each other at the weekends...so I'm 15 dpo...no sign of af as yet...did the poas test but no 2lines...not really any symptoms just now...only terrible backache last week...heartburn over past couple of days ( probably the pizza!!) If not this month then we are all ready for the ovk next month...the trying is fun :)
Chewy directed me here :)

Hello tru, I've not been on the thread that long, but lurked on other ones before. Welcome! Lots of encouragement and support from women whose eggs are every bit as old and scrambled as ours. (I'm 43).

Haha thank you...this is the first time that I've actively tried to conceive... my others were lovely surprises...so this time round I'm more aware of this waiting game :( one minute I think I am the next I think I'm just late...I know that my dp would be overjoyed...he's already said he will probably cry lol...he's even got a strange obsession of walking round baby shops...I think he's the broody one! But he does make me laugh and hope that I can give him what he so desires...apart from me that is ;) he already has me lol

Hello tru

I'm also new to the thread and boards tho been lurking for ages. I'm a day late but testing negative so suspect although I had a positive opk this month my cycle still setting following mc. Feeling grumpy and emotional so think af will arrive soon. Hope all is well kiwi. Must be so worrying and stressful after previous mc.

Xx

Gum .....thinking of you and your dad...xx
Ohhh what a day....
They saw a sac (6 weeks) and a fetal pole ( 3.8mm

notsoold, I am so sorry to hear that the scan has unsettled you. I have heard, over and over, that when it is very early, things may not tally up, but so so in a couple of weeks. I hope the blood tests can help. (((hugs)))

Notsoold, how far along are you, by your calculations? Don't give up hope, these early scans can be woefully inaccurate! It is such a worry, hope you are coping

Gum, so sorry about your dad, what stressful time for all of you. Make sure you don't forget to look after yourself.
And good on your DH for wanting to do a shag-a-thon!

Waving to everyone else! Currently sitting on the sofa with my coffee, doing MN, while DS watches CBeebies. Going swimming later, then hopefully down to London tomorrow. Love weekends

Oh notsoold that's a horrible worry. I too have read lots of things about early scans being a little worrysome to then turn out absolutely fine in the rescan. Keeping everything crossed for you xxxx

I am luxuriating in a bubble bath about to take my son to the barbers. Then it's a boring day, but tomorrow we are out for Sunday lunch, just me and DP, and I'm really looking forward to it.