40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Well I have definitely not been listening to the nagging little voice I have! Having built dd's new bed yesterday I have spent this afternoon breaking apart a wooden play house (a very rotten one that smelt an awful lot like the neighbour's cats have been squatting in there) in preparation for putting together a trampoline for dd's birthday on Saturday. Oh well, I know you can't sit around doing nothing just in case but perhaps I'll try to limit the heavy lifting from now on (dh is out watching rugby & is also useless/not interested in DIY so I tend to do it all!)
Feelings have all gone anyway, think it was my imagination.....

reni you would expect to ovulate 12 days before AF turns up.

Cloud sorry about the BFN. Hope it’s just because you’ve tested too early. Same for you Chewy

JassS thank you so much for that top tip. I will give them a try. I had picked up something on this thread about them, had noted it somewhere to look at some time and the whole idea just floated out of my brain… so thanks for the reminder!! I’ve signed up to the Soy thread so I can read up a bit. I see some of the women have reported messed up cycles. However, at this stage, I think I might try pretty much anything. Oh, tell me how easily you fall pregnant!! Though I would prefer not to have to go through what you have/do. I’m hoping I have a fussy uterus, or however it was you put it some time back!

JassS, you probably know about B6 helping the body manufacture progesterone, but am just mentioning it in case you don’t.

I guess I need to review my ‘protocol’ generally. I think the information I have relied on is about 5 years old so there must be lots of new developments out there.

Am liking the creative use of softcups on here!! Must get going with mine. Bought it months ago.

Chewy I would love twins. Often think it would be nice. But just one would do!! Lottery tickets weren’t winners at all. Not. A. Single. Number. Would prefer another baby, but some cash would help!!

Lolfactor and I were preggers at the same time on earlier incarnations of this thread, with due dates just a matter of days apart. She used DHEA. Are you out there Lol? How’s it going?

Grizzer I hope you’ve just been too busy to notice those little flutters. Also, have PMd you.

Gum I will get back to you soon!!

I am revelling in the fact that DS has actually gone to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight instead of 10pm, or later. I will be celebrating with an early night myself! Woo hoo! We have settled much of our renovation plans now, with bits and pieces falling into place. So, I can concentrate on preparing the place to be pulled apart by builders, and devote a bit more time to having DC2.

Waves to all! FF

Meant to say, situation with parents has improved. Dad out of hospital, and improving (from a low base line), although a cold has knocked him back a bit. Someone up-thread was talking about stubborn Mum. Same here... with both of them!! Very difficult to help in these circumstances,so totally sympathise.

Just had a very yummy dinner of roast lamb. Pudding and bed now. Already in jimjams. Bliss!!

Fireflies, it seems to be that sou either helps or messes cycle. True.I found a thread from another forum which had many successes on them, so I tried. I took the non- ambitious option - soy 100mg days 3-6 and 200 day 7. So I did try to help with egg quality and maturity, not getting more eggs to ripen and release. As I said, I will never knw whether it helped. And I will only know in mid-march the outcome of this situation now. I have decided to cancel my appointmentthis Wednesday.

JassS, 100-200mg soy extract- I presume people take soy for the containing phytoestrogens? I have two questions about this: 1. The pituitary gland and the hypothalamus respond to oestrogens, does a big increase (100mg soy) lead to negative feedback and therefore a drop in FSH/LH and reduced ovulation? 2. Does very high oestrogen disrupt implantation?

Is there good evidence that high soy works? Maybe I misunderstand why people take it (haven't seen the soy thread).

JassS thanks for the info. Will add SI to my shopping list for later on this week. I am sure AF due any day now. I need to look into the fertility tincture Neals Yard sell too.

reni the thread is here. I have killed it!

Spoke too soon about my folks. Dad readmitted to hospital. Is a shame but also quite annoying as I'd tried to prevent it happening. I think he's ok, but it's knocked me back a bit.

I need to read up on stress preventing pregnancy. I am sure there was some chat further back. NHS denies it completely, of course!! Things are going to get rather tense when building works start at home, and there is going to be an increase in the harassment we have been on the receiving end of due to a change in neighbours soon.

Moving on from that... Hope everyone's well and DTD where necessary and having BFPs etc etc.

Better catch up on some sleep soon. Going to do some fantasy shopping first. Need something glam for next week!!

fireflies Sorry to hear about your dad! Hope you are OK!

chewy If I never have to drink another drop of cranberry juice in my life, it won't be enough - I have had so much of this in the past, I just can't stomach it anymore. However, I might try and get some cranberry capsules from the health shop, have hear good things about them.

Also intrigued about the moon cup... (can you tell I'm desperate?!).

The good news for me is that my mum is doing OK, she is getting lots of help from her friends and neighbours and that she seems actually quite happy and cheerful! She won't be able to use her foot for at least another 4-6 weeks, so I think I'll relax for now - we are going on holiday on Sunday, and my sister said she would go and visit. So I think I'll wait with mine for another couple of weeks.

Bad news - Af has arrived today Bummer. Although I'm glad I can get the scan, I feel so disappointed. How much longer will I be able to keep this up? Sigh.
Seriously considering getting all Draconian with DH and his alcohol and caffeine consumption. Also thinking of getting his swimmers tested... We never have, would you believe it.

Thank you, fireflies, will look at the thread. Sorry about your dad, wish you strength. Agree about the cranberry juice, I hate the furry teeth, but the capsules give acidic burps (seriously tmi I know). Glad your mum is better, cloud. Do you reckon your dh will agree to your suggested dietary restrictions? I think if I told mine coffee and wine is off the menu I'd have to make this baby on my own .

I think I ovulated today, will watch the temps. Wonder if I'll be able to feel ovulation without temping and opks and all this faff at some point.

Hey all, popping back in. Bad luck cloud but glad your mum is getting on well.

This month is a bit of a strange one. Wondered if anyone can give an opinion on what's happening. Currently on CD14, that's counting day 1 straight from the first appearance of AF. Last month I got some faint lines on OPKs then a really strong line on CD12 and also 13. Had had cramps evening of CD11. This month, though, I had a faint line on CD12, but absolutely nothing then on CD13 and nothing again today. So have I missed the surge, or has it just not happened? Is there still much of a chance it could happen in the next few days? And am I right in thinking that even a surge doesn't guarantee ovulation, but if you don't get a surge, you definitely don't ovulate that month. Any thoughts? I am already feeling downcast about this month, and DH has a bug atm so we haven't DTD for a few days anyway. But I am puzzled by the OPKs.

Hi fridge, there is a small chance that you are yet to ovulate! or perhaps you missed the surge. I know I have a very small window of " surge" and sometimes miss it, but I am sure of ovulation because I get pain.

cloud I am sorry to hear that AF turned up. It is bloody hard work keeping up ttc month after month. I feel for you. I don't see what harm having a sperm analysis done could do. It may show that the swimmers are a bit slow or something, and sometimes an adjustment of supplements can do the trick. I know selenium is very important for sperm health (found in Brazil nuts), and I just read on a naturopathic fertility site that selenium is equally important for egg health, especially in older mums. I am glad to hear your mum is ok. Where are you going on holiday? I hope it is relaxing for you.

fireflies, I am sorry to hear that your dad is back in hospital. It's very tough having a young family and elderly parents.

Well, I have news. I did a test this morning - not feeling particularly pregnant, no case of pregnochondria this month, particularly as we only had sex once in the fertile window, four days before ovulation, which to me seems like impossible odds. Anyway, last night I did feel a bit odd in the boobs and had a slight metallic taste in my mouth. Going by ovulation pain I think I am 12 dpo ( I didn't take my temperature this cycle) and I got a super faint-barely there- very unlikely to be anything at all- pink line!!
Please don't congratulate me, because I don't actually believe it, I think it may be false, or chemical, because with my last THB I got a better bfp at 9 dpo and by 12 dpo I had a clear bfp. So perhaps it is an evaporation line? It is very faint. I also did an opk this afternoon ( but wee was quite dilute) and got a very faint line ( though I think that I have LH in my wee all the time so it isn't really an indicator unless it is an obvious line).

So, that's that. I will test again at 14 dpo if AF doesn't show up.

Honestly, I would love to defy the odds, but I don't really have any faith.

I won't congratulate you yet then Gum, but I am sending you positive thoughts.

Wishing you luck, Gum.

Positive thoughts for you gum!

fridge I get this a lot with OPKs, and I would say that the faint line you got was 'it', ie detection of your LH surge. Especially if it then disappeared again the next day - you might have just caught the end of it. I very rarely get a really strong line on an OPK, so I go with the 'a line is a line' approach, which is usually correct (as confirmed by a temp rise). Hope that helps!

We are off to France on Sunday, to go skiing. It'll be DS's first proper skiing holiday, we are hoping that he will enjoy it as much as we do!
I should be ovulating mid-week next week, so hopefully, the holiday spirit will help . I can certainly do with a break (but I always think that when a holiday is imminent).
And I have managed to lose enough weight that I fit into my salopettes again, yay! It's not the most comfortable fit, but hey-ho.

Here to will you on to defy the odds Gum!

Hi everyone, been really busy so haven't checked in recently, have been keeping up with the thread though.
Fridge, do you temp? This is the best way to confirm ov. It sounds like you caught the tail end of your LH surge. Sometimes I get positive pols for two days, sometimes just on the day I ovulate.
Gum, I'll keep everything crossed for you. I know you say it's against the odds but while you're still ovulating there is still hope. Hold on to that! Please keep us posted.
Cloud so sorry about AF. I got quite down about mine last month, it gets harder to snap yourself out of it.
Fireflies sorry about your dad, very worrying for you.
Jass I'm sending all love thoughts and good vibes to you. Please keep us updated.
6 dpo for me. Did the cd 9, cd 11, cd13,cd15, ov in cd 15. Quite pleased with my efforts this month! I just hope we managed to catch that egg. I hate this damn 2ww.
Been reading the soy thread with interest. Might give it a go. Got nothing to lose I suppose.
Big hello to anyone I missed out.
Grizzer, are you around? I think I'm on the same cd as you.

Gum, very good luck to you! These things happen!

Here's hoping Gum. It'll be nice to have you back x
I think we are on the same cd seewot but I ovulated day 12 or 13 which I've never had before so I'm about 9dpo. Normally I just wait for AF to show but just ordered 20 ic. I feel the urge to test.....

Thanks everyone. I love the support I get on this thread I really don't have much in the way of symptoms. Apart from being drop-dead tired, but I blame the camp I went on last week. Which, I might add, was fabulous. Saw some amazing shows, Ubu and the Truth Commission was incredibly powerful. See it if you can. And I was pleasantly delighted by a couple of installations we saw by Ragnor Kjartanson which were great. The students were mesmerised for 64 minutes - that's amazing. The kids were pretty good, but we did find the heat quite taxing,and have loved coming home to a mild 22 degrees - at least I can sleep at night. Though I have woken super early with vivid dreams (this tends to happen in early pregnancy/pre-menstrally, for me).
Seewot, you've made a very big effort this month. I hope it brings a bfp!

Avo all!

Gum wow! Just wow!!

Cloudjumper pleased to hear your Mum is ok and getting plenty of support. You must feel a lot better knowing that. So sorry about AF. Total bummer. Definitely a good idea to get DH tested and see if he can knock the booze and caffeine on the head. Might be a good idea if he can take some supplements too. Wellman Conception would be a good start if he’s not taking it already. Like the sound of your holiday, and well done for getting in those salopettes. I bet they’ll be falling off you after a week skiing.

fridge sorry to hear you’ve feeling down. Hope you find your PMA again soon. TTC can be very gruelling mentally sometimes.

Seewot fingers crossed for this month for you.

CD24 here so waiting for AF to put in that unwelcome appearance. All the signs are there – am unbelievably exhausted, short-tempered, paranoid, craving carbs, greasy hair etc etc. However, I haven’t done any google stalking, so maybe…. No, I am not going to kid myself. Perhaps my cycle is changing a bit due to Agnus Castus. Ovulated much later than expected, CD14 rather than 11. Although I could put this down to the unbelievably large amount of sugary c**p I was eating around days 5-9 (excuses are: 1) poorly child needed tempting to eat so clearly mini cupcakes were answer 2) vast amount of Valentines chocs 3) being over-fed by DM). Seriously, I am thinking that all that sugar could have delayed ovulation. Have just had a quick loo visit before signing off and scrutinised paper. No AF yet.

Oh, just notice, Grizzer, you’ve had the same issue.

O.M.G Have we synchronised cycles? . How Chewing the Fat!!

God, I need to go and get a life!!

Gum - quietly sending good luck wishes from here too. Looking forward to your update.

Cloud - Sorry about AF. I might've known you would've already tried the cranberry juice (doh!) but hope the capsules help if you go for those. Hope MRI will be useful for you. Just wondered - did you get any advice about TTC afterwards for the rest of this cycle? TBH, I can't think why it wouldn't be OK, but of course I'm not medical. Skiing sounds great, sigh ...

Fridge - I'd second what others have said. I'd guess you caught either start or end of LH surge with your OPK. Sometimes mine are quite short, but FWIW, the last time I was pg LH surge was mega short (1/2 a day maybe).

Seewot - Great work on DTD, you can go to the top of the class! I'd be pretty pleased with that timing too.

Fireflies - Sounds like you've had a good cycle, so you never know ... FX.

You've made me think I might give the Soy Isoflavones a whirl too. I've dithered over Soy in the past as when I tried it one cycle last year (CD5 - 9, 80, 80, 80, 120, 120) I had +ve OPK on CD11. This might have been a coincidence, but I did wonder if it was the Soy that brought OV forward a bit - and it freaked me out a bit. But am starting to think what the heck ...

Lots of sympathy here for having sleep allergic toddler. I've got one of those. DD is regularly still bouncing around at 10.30 - 11pm. You know, standing on toy box doing pirouettes, that type of thing. No idea how she keeps going. If I ever mention it to anyone I get the whole wide-eyed "so you get no evening then?" Nope, and that's the sort of time when I start the rest of my chores, and probably why I look like s*

Well, AF turned up here yesterday. But not until I'd wasted my last FRER, kept checking it for about an hour, thrown it away in a sulk, then fished it out of the bin again to see if it'd changed its mind. (Someone shoot me now.) Felt really weepy yesterday, but a zillion rounds of an indoor soft play centre this morning has, bizarrely, cheered me up a bit. Er, maybe I should point out I did take the toddler with me!

I was doubtful about soy, I admit, since it is advised if your cycle functions it might mess it up. On the other hand, I happened upon research telling that women who took them for meonpause symproms suddenly became fertile instead and fell pg. Also, I have low prog in Second half of the cycle and thought maybe this indicates a problem with low esteogens in forst part as well, as I read it would also boost proge later on. So I chose the option of days 3-7 and went for the dose which suited thr pills I found - they were 100mg. So took 100 and 200 the last day.
Yesterday I happened to read a forum where ladies over 40 discussed their successful pregnancies and many there had also used soy in the cycles they conceived. More importantly - some stated they used soy in the only pregnancies they carried to term! I do not want to start a soy fever here, certainly not, everyone needs to decide themselves whether to risk it, but I felt I had more to gain than to lose... I am tomorrow 7weeks and still no signs of mc. I did a beta analysis, thinking that when I got my bfp on 5th of feb it was very weak, so probably around 20. And I got 3+ on digi 17 day slater, so was about 2600 then. Which gives me 57 hour doubling time. It is not 48, but that would be too much to ask. mAybe soy helped to achieve this as well, even if I do no tknwo of course whether this leads to a real baby.

i feel more and more like having a normal pregnancy, sore boobs and sickness is also quite freauent.
Based on all this, I decided to act normal and my next US is only on 25th of March. If I really do not start mc before that, I consider I have good chances of seeing a baby in there. Ultrasounds do not grow babies, calm and hopeful mothers do. And I enjoy my pregnancy, so I prefer to hold on to this happiness, even if it is delusion:-)

Calm and hopeful mothers
Love it!

jass, I love your attitude. It does all sound very good. I am now thinking I might take some soy once AF turns up.

I am 14 dpo (or at least 14 days post O pain - I have no real idea) and still no AF, no spotting. But the FR test was BFN. I think the super faint line was just a tease. However, I have been feeling exhausted in the evenings, have had that taste in my mouth and breasts are a wee bit tender. But, if the test says BFN, I have to accept that and move on. I guess the truth will out eventually: Af or perhaps a bouncing babe in 36 weeks time

My tiredness may be due to poisoning myself with gluten while I was away. I thought a little bit wouldn't hurt, but it appears to have made me feel a bit sick, had tummy upset ever since, and I have no idea how long it will be until I feel better.

Grizzer and Fireflies, I hope you both get the big BFP this time.

I am seeing my acupuncture lady today, hopefully she will help me feel a bit better.

I just cannot find anything other than anecdotal evidence about the benefit of soy for conception. There appears to be precious little research into it in premenopausal women. The little there is is very inconclusive. The only proven point seems it increases cycle length by an average of a day. Other than that, can't find benefits, but plenty of negatives, lowering fertility by preventing ovulation as well as possibly messing up implantation. Proceed with a heck of a lot of caution unless you are sure that both your estrogen levels are low and a slightly longer cycle will help you.

I have seen the thread dedicated to it, but again, anecdotal stuff, nobody seems to have studied it. Lovely for the pregnancies achieved on isoflavones, but one might argue they happened regardless of or even despite the soy.

Anybody know more? Any studies? Truly interested, would be thrilled to be wrong and have stumbled across something that might help.

Chewy oh my. Your little one is up till 11pm? Although sounds much like yours energy wise (but a bit less balletic), 10pm or 1030pm seems to be the limit, though those nights usually see me crawling into bed at 1am as I've fallen asleep with him on the floor. Grim. Yes, when exactly are you supposed to get on with the housework!

So sorry about AF. It's not fair.

JassS well you are firing me up a bit about SI. Would you mind linking to the forum you found please? It's all sounding very good for you. I am also somewhat in awe by the knowledge you have about TTC and pregnancy.

Battery running low on laptop and it's bedtime now. Will be attempting to nonchalantly buy some FRER's tomorrow if no AF.

Night all.