40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Yeah, I'm not that hopeful but it's hard to give up hope when you want it so much. I keep wondering if my wanting to be pg is delaying af.
I do have a consolation prize though, as part of my birthday Mum and I are staying at a spa hotel for a couple of nights and so want to enjoy a good massage and a bottle or 2 of wine, something I can't do if preggers! Every cloud eh!
It does feel a bit like living 2 lives at the moment. I'll leave it a week or so then if no news I might see the Doc. We always said we would not go down the ivf route but if there is anything we can do to boost our chances then we'll consider it.
Since mc last year my periods have been pretty regular at 29 days. I've heard so much about people getting pg when they stop trying and would love to throw the diary and test sticks away but I can see myself cheating!

I'm allowing myself a glass of wine tonight on medical grounds, you know, if it helps me relax then it can't do too much damage!...
Signing off now. Another POAS announcement tomorrow am then I'll probably found in the sulky corner! X

Just saw your ttc month, Joey , I gave up on the subtlety a while ago, I just tell dh the week (it's block-booked).

reni I don't do the forums on Ff - it's too much, I get all the information and support I need here on MN But if you let me know your username on there, I'd be happy to hook up with you and we can snoop around on each others charts!

slinki How annoying, it's so frustrating if AF doesn't play nicely. However, a long luteal phase is good for ttc, so it's not all bad!

Well, my temp did a big nosedive this morning, so I think that once again, my attempts with SMEP have not been successful. I'm wondering if the fact that I was taking antibiotics both this time and the time before has anything to do with it. They are safe when pg, but wondering if they still might interfere with implantation or even fertilisation... On the other hand, how do I avoid the flippin' cystitis that I invariably get when ttc with a lot of effort?! Argh.
But at least I can have the MRI scan next Friday - they said that I can't have it when pg.

This thread is so lovely at the moment. I've got my fingers crossed for you all.

chewy the box is huge! I was going to try to keep it all to myself and not tell Dh but once I saw the size of the box and realised the wee would need to be kept in the fridge then I had to come clean. My big hurdle now is that I live in a small village and the the post office couple are the nicest but nosiest ever. They are always commenting on my online shopping returns so I wonder what they will make of these packages!

I am just waiting for AF to come and then will start the wee collection.was expecting it yesterday ( days from +ve opk) but nothing yet. No sore boobs though either so not experiencing severe pregnochondria as of yet.

cloud I've never had cystitis but I wonder if it would help you if you used something like a softcup after dtd? I've been using one as it means I can get straight up afterwards and go for a wee without everything ending up dripping down my leg! Lovely!

Sorry, 3rd post. Af just made an appearance so I will start my weeing in pots tomorrow. One good thing I guess. We have a big holiday booked for August and I have been worried what would happen if I was very pregnant.

Cloud I get cystitis easily especially with the prolonged lie down after dtd. I tend to drink loads of water during the week in question, it seems to help. Slinki, I had the af late + bfn twice, one turned into a preg ending in mc at 11 weeks, the other turned into my dd. Was a week late at bfp.

Sorry about af, Gerald.

Cloud-pm-ed you the name for snooping

Am not doing v well at keeping up with you, am I?! Am feeling slightly more optimistic about conceiving #2 as we managed to DTD, twice before ovulation too. But I am feeling pre-menstrual again already.

Still, who cares! I was a last minute entry for the Mumsnet 15th Anniversary birthday party competition... and have won a ticket. I feel like Charlie!!

Good morning all. Love the description of the ttc month reni very apt! And welcome slinki - what a head wreck the waiting is, yes? And you have so much extra at the moment. I didn't get a + until 6 weeks with one pg so hope it's just a late one and all is plain sailing thereafter.

Not much going on here. Have just passed due date for the twins so feel like I can hope its a new era now. Taking supplements when I remember, doing acupuncture, lc-ing, and naturally, dtd! Oh, and obsessing. But I guess that goes without saying...

cloud sorry to hear about your mum. I too have elderly parents abroad, it can be so worrying. Hope she is feeling better after her fall.

Hi, fireflies ! Congratulations on your ticket, please come back and spill the beans!

Many of us with elderly loved ones abroad it seems. Another thing that can come with doing this baby thing late- have really young kids when caring for the past generation. Also leaves years to leave your country and make sure you have to travel the globe, middle aged and (hopefully) pregnant or a toddler on hip visiting mum. Do tell us about the party fireflies!

Sorry about Af Gerald and bfn Slinky. And indeed, having babies and old parents at the same time is tricky. But what choice do we have?

I went to cinema today with my heavily pg daughter. My own boobs hurt like hell, and She does not know nothing of my mcs of course.

I have been doing some meditation to help my baby grow and get a heartbeat. I guess I sound desperate, but hey, nothing to lose and keeping positive attitude is so important....

jass fx for you...xx

Report for duty but that is no chance of dtd with Mr DH coughing like a maniac....so off to watch telly....

Evening. Still bfn and boobs not sore now. Also come down with a cold now. Keep getting really hot and can't figure out if it's the cold or early Menopause!!!! Bit dramatic i know. When is yournext scan jass? Meditation is a great idea.
Night all. X

Slinky, come on, menopause does not just descend on you like that! Maybe you have a cold simply?

Next scan next Wednesday. And I am thinking of cancelling and psotponing by at least two weeks. But probably will not be able to, even if it might be better for my mental state. I have zero mc symptoms, I saw yolk sac at 5+6 LMP, every normal pg woman would be totally confidently simply pg. Not going to doc next week might be much better idea, but I am afraid in Luxembourg they would reslly not want to let me go without US until 9-10 weeks, even if I know I am not ectopic.

Things seem cautiously positive Jass. I wouldn't be able to help going for scans though even though, as others have found, it can give false hope. I think you have to go though don't you? So you can take meds accordingly?
I wouldn't say this to anyone who knows me but I'm having 'abdominal feelings!' It's stupid because I'm only 5 or 6 dpo but I feel lots of pressure & tingles. Today I was putting together dd's new bed & lugging the mattress up the stairs something was telling me I need to be careful! Just wishful thinking I know but I'm feeling hopeful (another big crash coming no doubt!)

slinki just thought I would say that with my second pregnancy (lovely ds) the only symptom before Af was.......... I felt really hot. I remember it clearly because I am always cold and Dh was confused when I asked him to turn the heat down in the car.

Grizzer I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Jass congrats on another BFP, I hope things keep going well for you.

I feel so gutted by the number of women from my various ante-natal groups who've had another one or two DCs. Even the one who is only a year younger than me. I really thought she'd stick at just one DC. I am considering giving DHEA a go. I was strongly anti it, but it seemed to work for Lol and she was 47 when she conceived.

I mentioned up-thread a bit that I'd cut back on supps, basically as was feeling too tight, a bit bogged down with other stuff etc, and found AF much much lighter. Had been getting horrendous. I am wondering which supp was making it so much heavier.

Also, this month, Ovd on day 14, which is quite late for me, and not good news for a 24 day cycle, I think. Unless my cycle is extending... I guess I will find out sooner or later.

Better go to be or I will never get on top of this eternal feeling of weariness!! I went back through the thread and started reading in more detail from start of Feb, but just can't keep up with all the chat. Will try and keep up with you all better as there has been some really useful chat going on in here recently.

Going to check lottery numbers before getting into bed. Just hope that winning streak extends to the full quote of 3 things...

Talking of preggo symtoms, Gerald, my only one was feeling a bit weird, and just knowing taking a preganancy test was the right thing to do.

Fingers crossed, Grizzer. We're in the DTD phase, too, DrDiva. Cd9, feeling almost like ovulation is here. How early is too early for ovulation? Cd 11 or 12 is usual for me, I have a 24d cycle.

Well, I tested yesterday on 10DPO, and it was a BFN Will continue testing every day until Tuesday, when I need to call the hospital to let them know that I am not of and can have the MRI. Sigh.
This is the 2nd round of SMEP that hasn't worked - in the past, this would have knocked me up really quickly. But my temps are a mess this month, no idea what's going on, they barely went above cover line.
Now waiting for my pg tests to arrive , of course I had to run out Keeping the FRER until Tuesday, just in case.

Fireflies, have you considere soy isolflavones? They also seem great at getting older women pg. I took them this cycle and got the best pg outcome sofar. Of course I am not typical, first that I fall pg every few months anyway, but what makes me think tey might have had hormone balancing effect is this relatively good development with this pg so far. Also, if your ov is slipping later in the cycle maybe soy could help. And they are not that expensive, you only need less than 10 pills per cycle after all. There is the soy thread on here where tou can read about them.

Cloud, I hope it is just too ealry and Grizzer, I hope the "feelings" are there for the reason!

And no, I need not necessarily to go for this US. 7weeks starts weaning from prednisolone anyway, independently from ehether the pg is continuong or not, and the weaning tempo is the same as well. It is only progesterone I am taking and baby aspirin, I can easily continue with those for a couple of more weeks, it is only the pred I want to get rid of. But weaning starts next Thursday anyway. So I can in principle maybe go at 10 weeks gestation and have the conclusion one way or another there and then. If next week there is a fetal pole/no heartbeat the scan would again not be definitive, but my mind will be further damaged. After all, I appear to be normally pg, yolc sac seen 5w6d, not the world's best development, but more or less in line with what is needed as a minimum to be optimistic, no bleeding, no pain. Why should I be scanned once a week? Doubting this pg is not going to help in any way, and I doubt less if i listen to my sore breasts and certain level of seasickness rather than discuss how many mm of fetal pole should have heartbeat for sure or not. Bthw, i looked at my yok sav picture and there is a little dot of a beginning of the fetal pole certainly there, it is prob only 1mm or less, but it is there. I asked my friend a gyne to look and She said She thinks so, too, but would also not attempt to measure it at this stage yet. I feel more and more like cancelling the uS.

Gerald - interesting tip about the softcup. I rarely suffer from cystitis, thankfully, but do the whole 'elevate hips for 20 minutes' thing and so hate lying in the slush, yee-uk!!! Sorry about AF, but hope you can now be distracted with your free posh OPKs Clearblue science project before your BFP this month, FX.

Cloud - Did you ever try cranberry juice to prevent UTI's? Am slightly to be linking an article from Daily Mail -Link to Cranberry Juice Article- but at least it seems reasonably up to date (July 2013). Sorry for BFN, but maybe 10DPO is just too early to show on HPT?

I also tested at 10DPO (Friday), as although I thought it was prob too early, I'd been dizzy/hot for a few days and then had woken up at 3am convinced I was about to be sick - with no alcohol either! But FRER was white as driven snow, then I had the mother of all migraines yesterday - usually a sign AF is on her way. I've put the weird dizziness down to remnants of a nasty cold/sinus issues, plus chronic pregnochondria, obvs.

Jass - I love the idea of you meditating for your baby to grow well, you sound quite serene - perhaps another good sign?

Fireflies - I know what you mean about antenatal friends conceiving again, it can be so hard ... but hope your VIP party ticket is the start of a run of great luck for you. FX you are indeed due two more lucky things: lottery win + baby, or twins maybe???

Was interested to hear about the lady you know who conceived at 47 [Lol?], please do tell more, I do love a good story!

Jass - you are extremely well-informed, so I'm sure you'll make the right decision about your U/S. You make a lot of sense when you say if you have a plan for medication (esp prednisolone) that wouldn't change regardless of the outcome of a 7 week scan, why should you risk a worrying outcome from an early scan when the pg could be entirely normal?

I paid for a private scan with DD at almost 8 weeks. I remember the consultant saying he'd do it earlier if I insisted, but if so, I'd have to accept it might not be conclusive. I thought my body would do better if I just hoped for the best for an extra week - whereas an inconclusive scan would've given me something to focus on and amplify my worry (which would've been quite unnecssary as it turned out).

aexactly, Giraffe, me too - quiet hopefulness makes it easier to grow a baby than having another inconclusive scan.