40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Sorry for your loss sebsmummy. Hope things come good in the future.

jass hang in there! Fingers crossed for you.

Sorry for your sad news Sebs, especially cruel when you'd had every reason to think things were going well. I don't know what to say about Tuesday when its the last thing you would've wanted, but hope it goes OK in the circumstances. Its good you've been referred for testing - hopefully the knowledge you gain will help when you're ready to TTC again. And as you say, your ovaries don't know you've had a birthday that starts with a '4' ...

I am sick as a bat. Can it be morning sickness? I never had it even with my positive-outcome pregnancies. Or I did not notice as was not concentrated on the situation as nowadays......It is convincing me that implantation was successful and I am truly pg. Made an appointment to see doc on Wednesday, 6+2. If there is nothing I will be very disappointed this time....

Super, JassS, good luck. ( weird to be happy for someone who is unwell, but part of ttc I suppose)

I'm still sulking in my corner, cd3 or 4, can't quite decide when to call full AF this month.

Getting exciting Jass! Definitely morning sickness!
Hope you're feeling ok about tomorrow Sebs.
I seem to have ovulated day 12 which is unheard of for me. Could really feel it last night so poas & got 2 lines. It was 10pm though so don't know if that matters. Did another test at about 10 this morning & only got faint 2nd line. Part of me thinks if my body is behaving differently this month maybe it'll also be different & actually get pg! The other part thinks things are changing & that can't be good......
Watch this space. It's going to a long month as AF isn't due til 13th march!!

Grizzer if your ovulation really is about today, your next AF should come (or not hopefully somewhat earlier, as LP is 14 days and if your ov came early you might just have a shorter cycle. Test time would be 12 days from pos ov test, i would say:-)

So sorry to hear your news sebsmummy it's really shit when you have seen the heartbeat and dared to invest another level of emotional attachment. Thinking of you for tomorrow.

jass it's sounding good! Sickness and all...

Oooh, I really hope it's morning sickness Jass!

Ff informs me my free trial VIP membership is about to expire. Is the difference so big? Do you pay or would you suggest not to bother and stick to the free basic membership? (I did like the dtd score and that's not included)

jass Keeping everything crossed for you!

reni I'm a VIP member on FF, just because I do like all the extra features, and because I thought that you get good value for money. I think the free membership just gives you the charts with the red crosses, so in theory, it can be enough. Depends on what you want!

sebs Welcome to our thread! I'm also on the rmc/tests thread And I agree with what others have said - being 40+ doesn't automatically mean that your fertility falls off a cliff! There have been many successful pregnancies on here.

I'm currently on 6/7DPO (FF and I don't agree when I ovulated ). I have my MRI scan on the 6th, for which I must not be pg, so I will be testing on the 3rd...
However, I currently have a lot more pressing issues on my mind! My mum had a fall yesterday and broke her ankle. She lives alone, and none of us children are anywhere close - my sister currently has no passport, as hers is with the embassy to be renewed, my brother is about to go on a work trip. DH is on business travel this week, so unless I cart DS off to the ILs or take him with me, I can't go either. Mum insists that she is fine and that no one needs to come - she is currently being looked after by friends and neighbours. I feel very guilty (apart from massively annoyed) - she can't do anything, is on crutches, so I really think that I need to go to check on her! But Saturday would be the earliest I could make, I think. So I am now researching home care services in Switzerland, to see if maybe we can get someone to come and look in on her once or twice a day.
Moreover, I am massively worried that this is the beginning of a very complicated time - she is 70, and whilst still very able and capable, it's noticeable that some things are becoming more and more of a struggle. Sigh.

Aww cloud it is difficult but if it's not possible for you to go there then it's not & you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Your mum is lucky she has friends & neighbours to help her. Are you able to speak to one of them to find out if she really is fine? It might put your mind at rest a little.
I'd be happy to go to Switzerland for a few weeks if that helps!! Lol x

Cloud, it is difficult with ageing parents. I can understand that you must be worried, and I like Grizzer's suggestion of talking to friends/neighbours to see how she is getting on. It must be very difficult being far away.

jass I am very pleased to see that your little bean is progressing. I hope this is it for you. You've certainly had your share of difficult times, so it would be lovely if all could be well.

sebsmummy, I am very sorry to hear your news. It is just so heartbreaking and crushing to come that far only to have your dreams stolen. I have had four losses, 2 of which were around 9-10 weeks after really good ultrasounds and my world just fell apart. However, you do still have time, you will get pregnant again. And you will heal too.It is hard, but time does help.

reni, I have the VIP membership too,I love the little extras, though I barely look at it lately - I think my membership is up in May. I won't be renewing, but that is because I am on the wrong side of 48 and I've all but given up (still shagging without protection, but very realistic about my chances). This month, the best I could muster was to DTD once, 4 days before ovulation. It is highly unlikely that it will result in anything. And I've not had tender breasts at all, which I used to get all the time after ovulation; my theory is that either I have been conceiving over and over but the beans don't stick, or that it's a result of getting closer to menopause.

I am going away today for a school camp. It's not as onerous as it sounds - it is a trip to the city with yr 11's and 12's to see some of the Perth International Arts Festival shows. I am particularly looking forward to Madama Butterfly tomorrow night. It's a great camp - but very tiring. I find the evening shows difficult after being busy all day, I just feel like an early night!

Good luck everyone!

Hi all. May I join? I've just turned 41 and have a DS nearly 3. Since his birth I've had 2 mc one at 12 wk which was silent foetus never got past 7 week. Second mc was soon after at 5wk. That was nearly a year ago. We're ttc naturally so haven't been to Dr and know nothing about the various meds mentioned.
The reason I'm on here now is that af was due yesterday but no show. Boobs are way sore and feel lightheaded. Did a test this am but neg. I FEEL pregnant but perhaps it's just wishful thinking.
I know I should be grateful to have 1 happy healthy little boy but it was always our plan to have 2. He was a bit of a shock as we conceived after only 2 months. We were ready for thelong haul so were delighted when we found out.
It just feels like there is some switch that gets flicked at 40 and suddenly everything is much harder.
I'm waiting for more pg tests to arrive by post as I dont believe the one I've done.
I will follow this tread now with interest and wish you all lots of babies. Good luck everyone. Xxxxx

Hi Slinki, welcome and I hope you will be in and out of here in no time . Cloud, it is really hard with parents abroad, I am in the same situation, feels like being torn between so many responsibilities, wishing you much strength. How are you doing today, Sebs?

I am crawling sloooowly out of my sulky corner at cd 6, AF really threw me this month. Temps nice and low, will prob have to get the VIP ff, can't live without a score on our dtd efforts, need to beat last month's "good". Come out of the corner yet, Notso?

Welcome Slinki! There are no switches at 40, good luck!

At 6w2d my ultrasound showed a sac and a yolk sac, no fetal pole or heartbeat. In the summer I got to this stage, too, but it was at 7weeks at least when the sac was seen with yolk and at 8 the fetal pole. Then it ended. So it is growing quicker this time, but is still looking about 4-5 days behind.
Now with a "normal" woman it would be OK result. In fact, the doc I saw does not know all the history and She just made a new appointment for next Wednesday, to come and see the heartbeat then. Well, I can not say She is wrong and sth is definitely not Ok, and I am staying on meds and supporting this baby to do what it can, but it was not quite clean sailing today. Extremely common though to only see sac and yolk at this stage. I feel hope, which of course will then make things worse if next week there is still no hb.

Slinki - will be interested to hear results of new POAS, it does sounds just a little bit promising, right? Fingers crossed.

Sebs - Hope you're doing OK

Jass - Was it today you were going to doctors at 6+2? Really hope its progressing on track.

Gum - The thread is never quite the same without updates from Oz - arts festival, the beach whatever. Cheers up the UK winter somehow - its bloomin freezing where I am today!

Cloud - My mum's in her 80's, so quite a bit older than yours, but sounds a little similar in the sense that whilst she's still very capable, generally fit and healthy etc, is getting increasingly stubborn. E.g. in my mum's case, NOT becoming slightly deaf at all, so NO need for hearing test .... give me strength. Hope you made some progress with home care services / checking with her friends - hopefully some extra peace of mind?
BTW, I think you and I are about the same DPO - I'm 8DPO today ...

Well, we managed to DTD on CD 11, 12, 13 and 14. So in theory, timing wasn't too bad as those days were CD 11: flashing smiley, CD 12: solid smiley, CD 13: another +ve OPK, CD 14: negative. But on the other hand I've had the stinkiest cold for the past week and a half, so I'm not too hopeful. DP thinks he deserves a medal for persevering with DTD through my coughing fits - Him "Er, can you stop that, its a bit offputting". Me "Not unless I stop breathing...". None of that has stopped me turing into a 'pregnochondriac' these past few days though - thanks to Reni for such an apt description!

Gerald - I totally copied you and looked into the Clearblue Trial, registered for it and received a ginormous box by post this morning. I've decided I'll indulge in pregnochondria a while longer and not open it until next AF. Then at least I'll have a sort of 'present' to open and can look forward to annoying DP with pots of wee in fridge. (Sounds gross - I'm going to have to get a large tupperware or something). Have you started yours yet?

Waves to everyone else x

Yikes Jass - cross posts! I was thinking about you. Sorry the news today wasn't exactly what you hoped you'd hear, but as you know, it's very early to guarantee to detect a fetal pole + heartbeat. Of course you must stay on your meds - I'm glad that's what you've decided to do. I can imagine its going to be hard to hang on another week, but please stay as calm as you can. FX seven week scan will be perfect.

My typical TTC month:

CD 1-6 sulking about AF
CD 7-13 humping (o on cd12)
CD 14-16 patting self on the back for cd 7-13 (or panicking if not enogh dtd)
CD 17-24 pregnochondria followed by AF

Reni your TTC month is hilarious and sounds just like mine. I would add the following though:
CD 7-13 trying to be subtle with DH and hoping he realises it's THAT time again, and he will miraculously co-operate of his own accord. Realise that subtlety doesn't work and end up nagging/begging/crying that if we don't do it tonight we will have missed our window of opportunity
CD 20 onwards - inspecting the toilet paper in great detail after every wee to try and detect any signs of colour. Getting excited when I go a day extra than last month without spotting. Poking boobs every 5 minutes to see if they are sore!!

Oh the joys of ttc insanity!!!

Pregnochondria! Love it. If it's not a real condtion then it should be. I think I have a chronic case. No tests came in the post today, most frustrating. I have the patience of a toddler.
Cloud
My Mum is 71 and lives alone. She broke her elbow and had to have it replaced. I was worried about her decline but I think the physio helped strengthen her in more ways than one. She gets out more now than she did before. I think it gave her a bit of a fright. I hope she gets fixed up well. Does she have many friends over there?
Jass
I thought you couldn't see a hb till 7 weeks? I'll keep fingers crossed for you and look forward to your news. Sending lots of positive vibes for you and your little bean

Off to yoga in a bit so that will pass a couple of hours. TTFN

Cloud, I hope you have found the best option on how to get out to your mum. I think I would be constantly stressed if mine were living alone away. Luckily my brother lives about 2km from my mum and I am freerider. Fair enough, he has no family and mum is still doing his ironing for him:-). I provide all the grandchildren single-handedly and also the financail support, so do not feel so bad that am leaving the rest to brother. But if I were in lUxembourg and she alone in our country......brr.

Indeed Gum, your world is such a fairytale climate-wise compared to northern hemisphere. Keep talking to us!

I am calm. And not impatient. And somewhat not at all waiting for next week appointment. Maybe because I prefer hope to knowing, if the knowing may be neg. I am still enjoying this pregnancy, it has lasted already 3 weeks so that I know it is there and I have had no reason to tell myself there is no hope at all. And it is about a week faster grower than my last one, even if a bit behind:-)

reni out of my corner now although no chance of dtd ecause I have another cold. Need to sleep now will check in later xxxx

Done the ff VIP thing. Do you find the ff forum useful? I find them hard to read, they have so much information on each poster after each post! There is a footer with poster's age, dh age, dc ages, all mcs with dates and gestation, IVF history and then there is the cd/dpo box and for many users additional tickers for all of the above as well. Maybe I have too short an attention span, but when I flick through I have difficulties finding the actual post text.

Hi all. Quick update POAS arrived today. Still neg. Still no AF. I think it's just wishful thinking. Will try and forget about it for a while now. Will be back with an update either way. Xx

Hi Slinki, a similar thing happened to me several years ago. AF unusually late, had some pg type symptoms, tested once I was about a week late, but it was neg. AF turned up a few days later. Was just one of those odd things in my case.
Hope yours is just a shy bfp though!