40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

We're loving it Gerald! Sitting in it with gale force winds & freezing temps around us. Getting out & running back inside is not so much fun though!!

Thanks Reni. Dd is still being monitored so I shouldn't worry really, I just hadn't considered what meds we were being given! I often avoid reading the info because it is so off putting.

Hi all. Been away for a few days, so just trying to catch up on the thread.

Jass - glad to hear that you are hanging on in there, and every day that passes would seem to make things look a bit more positive.

Fridge - sorry that AF got you this cycle. She got me too - day 27 - boom out of nowhere. Had no symptoms or spotting, just straight into full flow without any warning.

I'm feeling very confused about the whole thing this month. I feel like I have hit a point where we've been ttc for a long enough period without any success, that realistically it's not going to happen for us. The longer it goes on, the less enthusiastic I feel about having another baby, as it seems like a much bigger step backwards now that ds is nearly 3. I think therefore I'm pretty certain that I am not going to consider any interventions e.g. IVF, and I'm going to scale back on the level of trying. Not going to give up completely, but for the next couple of cycles at least, I will stop with the temps and opks. It's just so all-consuming, and I have done it with great gusto and enthusiasm, but have achieved nothing, so am wondering what is the point.

Just feeling very down about it all at the moment. Sorry for the negativity!!

Grizzer, I would absolutely trust doctors when there is the need to take something and there is a situation where there is no choice. I am more talking about necking stuff casually for not so serious things, and I read here on Mn how people take pred 10 days every cycle then stop without weaning and restart next month. That sounds truly scary.....

Joey, I think it is important sometimes to step away from doing it so intensely, sometimes the will returns, but if not, it is OK also. I have gone through ups and downs in this business quite long now..,I think everybody does.

I should be somewhere where there is cold wind and gale, but in fact we have nothing but sunshine. I have never had a skiing holiday with all-week sunshine yet. I was 5+2!yesterday and stupidly did a digi. It said 2-3 weeks still. of course as I am keeping myself well hydrated with all the ski going on, I might blame this. But if by Sunday,5+6, I have no 3+, I think it is most likely over. But, 2 weeks from positive test and no dropping hcgs is my new personal best certainly...I think they are ever so slowly still rising.

Sorry about AF, Joey, such a depressing time every bloody month. I can feel her come as well, due on Saturday. I kind of knew it really for the last few days, I have so many preg "symptoms" that I knew she'll come. Never had any when actually pregnant resulting in a baby; at least not until I felt her move anyway. That and going from size 10 to almost as big as the washing machine.

Fingers crossed Jasss.

Has everybody taken the supplements today?

Sorry about AF feelings, Reni! I am rattling with today's supplements and pills:-)

Morning all. Again, it's been a while! Life seems to be hurtling along so fast.

Well af turned up this morning, day 25 which is at least better then last cycle . But things are getting shorter which is not a good sign. Still, I just keep telling myself to keep my nerve. Am going to start with agnus castus, although it's not the luteal phase that is the problem. Also I was planning to have a day last week in my half term to sort me and my life out (will only take one day ) but of course DS decided to be ill so I spent two days working and three days with marmoset boy attached. So I am going to take next Thursday instead. I just need to get organised and clear my head a bit.

And I just might be here a little more, as I feel like I need the support that you lot give!

Sorry for all the AFs turning up here!

Diva A 25-day cycle is not anything you need to worry about just yet, my consultant reassured me about that - I am the same, my cycles have gone from being 28-30 days to 25-26 days. But he was not in the least worried about that.

jass V. jealous about your great skiing weather - we are going in March, and I hope it will be the same, as I am a total fair weather skier and hate going out when the visibility is bad. Fingers crossed for you!!

joey I know how you feel, I've been there. Sometimes you just need to take a step back from everything and take a break, it can do wonders to clear your head and let you figure out how you feel about it all. It's totally OK. Maybe even consider to take a complete break from ttc for a few months? I've done this in the past, and it has been such a relief.

As for me, I have just come out of another round of SMEP. Slightly worse for wear, with another bladder infection, grrrr. Had to cut it a bit short, but still managed 3x in a row, although we might have started a bit early. Still, in the past I have always fallen pg when dtd either before or on ov day, so we have a chance. And so another 2ww begins...

Oh cloud, those bladder infections- lie there for ages to give the swimmers a chance, risk bladder infection. Go to the loo right after dtd, bladder fine, swimmers gone . Another shared joy of ttc-ers.

So good to hear you are hanging on jass
I got a huge parcel in the post today from the clearblue trial. Includes a box of posh opks - I'm always too tight to buy them! The only problem is that I can't even muster up the enthusiasm to read what I am meant to be doing. Maybe this is what happen? Gradually you stop thinking about ttc and accept what you have.

Cloud, I am supposed to ski with colleagues in March,too. If I stay pg I will be 9weeks. It will have to be more holiday than skiing. March is guaranteed sunshine if we are talking about French Alps, I think. Feb can be trickier and January is fresh snow special:-)

Hiya there!!!
joey I know the feeling having gone through that in the past. Taking a break might be the right thing for your peace of mind...
Jass fx for you...

So I think I have another wtf cycle. We dtd 15 19 20 and 21 (days 21and 22 were high fertility according to cbfm).....
Now day 33 bfn no symptoms at all. No cm ( sorry tmi) and jo af . I had spots few days ago and thought that af was around the corner but no.... it is not my month is it???

And I have another cold. But instead of taking medicine for it my mind says.." but maybe I am pg after all" ....sorry for being down...

AF is here. A day early. Thoroughly depressed. We have left it too late and I shall be sitting in a corner grumping now.

Sorry to hear that Reni.
As I'm nearing the end of my first cycle temping I'm gaining increased admiration for you ladies who stick this process out month after month. It's starting to feel burdensome to me and I only just started!
This morning I woke too early again, at 5am. I took my temperature knowing it would be marked as taken at wrong time on FF. It was 36.33. Then I dozed for the next 50 minutes, I didn't get out of bed in that time and when I woke again at ten to six this was within my normal waking time. I took my temp again for sake of comparison and by then it was 36.59, which is the highest it has ever been.
Does anyone else have this? When you wake too early should you record that temp, or doze till normal waking time and record that one?

fromwest I am a hopeless temper. Always wake up and have to run to the loo, or to deal with DS, and if I don't I quite often have a dry mouth and can't take my temp without a drink of water first. So I have lost my way with it. But others here have got a good handle on it and would probably advise better. Just posting as someone else who finds it all harder than it's supposed to be!

joey, reni and others got by AF, commiserations. I'm just at the end of mine and currently on a get together with friends expecting their second baby, so it's all about keeping my chin up and poker face (nice as it is to see them) for certain passages of conversation.

reni ...I will be joining you in the corner after AF turned up....

Sorry AF showed notso. It's worse when she messes about & gives us a bit of hope.
Cd 11 for me. Trying to work out if it's possible to dtd tomorrow morning because dh is going to football all day & I'm convinced an early one is better than all the late night ones we usually do. I suppose dd is a bit too young to send out for bacon butties while we get it on!! Lol

Sorry for the AFs.......
I am back home and I had set myself a deadline of today, 5w6d, as a cut-off for digi 3+. Most women have it by 5+6, if they are going to have a real baby. I made it! it is second pg in a row which goes to digi 3+,'but the previous one only reached there at six and half weeks, about. Of course I do not do these tests daily, so I know last time I had it sometime after 6w and this time 5+2'was still saying 2-3. I think I am seeing my immune problem reverting itself, slowly, but it may not yet be overcome totally. Will try to see a doc and have US next week Wednesday,when I am passing through home country and can easily have it....

Hi Girls, been up since 4am, watched TV for a bit and now back in bed just waiting for daylight.

I know someone on here kindly posted my good news re. BFP a few months ago, sadly the baby died at 11 weeks, pretty much bang on my 40th birthday, so that was devastating news to receive on Thursday at our 12 week scan.

They are going to test the foetus, chromosomal abnormalities are expected due to our 9 week scan showing heartbeat and baby measuring ahead of dates. All looked great.

I'm having a MVA under general on Tuesday. My body still thinks it's pregnant at the moment so the wait isn't too bad as I'm not bleeding or in pain.

I think we will carry on TTC unless they find something worrying when they do our genetic testing etc. I'm just so upset that it took us eight months to conceive, we finally thought we were going to have a baby and now I'm back to square one again. I just wish life had panned out differently and I had met my partner earlier and TTC at a younger age - totally pointless thing to think but it goes round and round my head on a loop.

Everything is still crossed for you Jass x
So sorry for your loss Sebs. How heartbreaking. Particular hard for you after a good 9 week scan. Hope everything goes ok on Tuesday x

So sorry Sebs, I hope you will get all necessary testing done,genetic, clotting, thyroid - all these are indicative of late first trimester loss. Please demand all this gets done and fight for your future bfp by making sure that this missed mc gets thorough testing done - even if you do not have the "required" number of losses - at our age there is no time to try and try.....
I hope the medical procedure will pass physically as easily as possible

Thanks girls. They have referred me to the RC MC clinic and are getting us both in for testing in 6 weeks time then me on my own so I can't fault them. I just don't know if we will be able to get pregnant again but I guess that's another worry for a few months time.

Sebs, you got pg this time, why not next time? And there are reproductive techniques to get you pg if needed! it is just necessary to find out why you miscarry. And as long as you have not heard that fateful "everything is OK, we do not know why it keeps happening" there is hope. Trailing the internet I have also found that even those "undiagnosed" more often than not end up with a baby if they persevere. And being one of those undiagnosed myself I have spent weeks while miscarrying looking for this consolation.....Hope goes with menopause, not before.

Thanks jass. Each MC has been different, the second was more of a chemical, the first I was bleeding from the beginning and it kind of drifted away from me. But this one has just felt so real and positive and I'm so shocked and destroyed that it's failed. Hence me assuming it was chromosomal but of course right now it's anyone's guess.

Thank you for saying what you have about falling pregnant again. I can't disagree, just because I've clicked over into 40 doesn't mean I am now infertile. I just have to find a decent egg.