40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

hello everyone, this is grinch under my nice, shiny, new nickname for 2015! I am just trying it out to make sure it works, and I will be back later to say something useful and intelligent

Morning, All! Just wanted to drop in and share something I read the other day. Apparently low progesterone can be caused by stress. I know there have been anecdotes about stress affecting ttc, but o real scientific proof, but it makes a lot of sense, if high stress causes low progesterone, then,clearly, high stress could affect chances of getting pregnant. Perhaps that is why some couples get lucky after months/years of trying when they 'give up", go on a nice relaxing holiday and come home to a positive preg test two weeks later. Interesting idea...

I like your new nickname DrDiva

I have been doing my very best to achieve high levels of relaxation. I'm nearing the end of my long summer break (I am a teacher in Australia). It's been the best holiday. I've been going to gym classes almost daily - so feeling very fit, also lots of lying on the beach and reading, going out to eat, catching up with friends, watching movies. It's been very nice.

I've also seemed to be re-aquainted with my libido, which is no small feat. My DH has lain the blame squarely on Jamie Fraser of Outlander, as I've been reading the books and I have to admit that he is the perfect man and the sex scenes are pretty damn good So the combination of holidays,summer etc means I've had plenty of SWI running up to ovulation, without really thinking about ttc. It's nice to be at this stage of not stressing about timing etc (I suppose it helps that I have no expectation of getting pregnant at the ripe old age of 48).

I hope everyone else is well.

Hi ladies, cd 14 for me. Had a positive opk yesterday & today which is great. I only seem to have had one day of positives for ages now so 2 days is a bonus. Didn't feel anything yesterday but I have ov cramps today. Dtd Friday night & this afternoon so I'm feeling very pleased with myself! Dh is talking about tonight too but I'm not sure I can muster the energy. Had acupuncture yesterday too so everything is on my side & this is definitely my month, no doubt about it
I went to a 40th birthday party last night though & drank far too much (free bar - seemed rude not to!) which I'm annoyed about now. Hope that doesn't ruin my chances. I'm also really cross that I can't seem to cut out the coffee. I want a baby so badly & I know caffeine isn't good so why can't I stop? Weak weak weak .
Anyway, regardless of all that I have had a lot of sex so that can only be a good thing.
Your holiday sounds fab Gum. Lots of relaxation sounds perfect. It's interesting that low progesterone can be caused by stress. I have a friend whose sister is a fertility acupuncturist & she says the majority of her clients who suffer recurrent miscarriage are teachers. It is undoubtedly a very stressful job. I am about to start marking English books which I've been avoiding all weekend. Will start using the progesterone cream tonight so I feel like I'm doing everything I can.
Love the name dr diva!

I am on postive OPk too, Grizzer, so we have sync cycles! I had one today and I will not so one tomorrow, as the first one is anyeays followed by ov within 48 hours, so thats all I need to know. Dtd all done this morning, hope I will manage tomorrow evening as well. But I already have done enough,cI feel, to hopefully enter tww. I tried soy isoflavones this month. Maybe it helps with having a better egg:-)

Feel AF coming. Not due until Wednesday. Cue the usual unhelpful "we have left it too late" panic (had hat even first time round at the tender age of 33). Consolation glass of red wine.

Another one at ovulation here! Got a very unexpected +ve OPK on Friday at CD11, when I had just started SMEP on Thursday! Dtd every day since, I'm shattered, but hoping we can get another one in the bag tonight... I am so desperate that I'm self-medicating with low dose antibiotics to avoid a bladder infection
But have to say that I am actually for once enjoying the action

Well done girls - loads of action happening here!

Hopefully there will be a load of positive HPT's in 2 weeks time!

Hang in there reni1, despite feeling like every month is your last chance, it really isn't - there will be another one soon enough (and sometimes that feeling of imminent AF is a symptom of pregnancy).

Good luck everyone

Fingers crossed for all those coming up to ov! By my calculation I am two weeks past so should start today, giving me my shortest ever cycle of 23 days . But I don't quite feel as if I am going to (I have pms symptoms but not on-the-day symptoms iyswim) so might be a long luteal phase to put me back on track. It's certainly on the way though, sadly I know the difference between pms and pregnancy symptoms in myself after four pregnancies!

Interesting about the stress gum something I think about quite a lot, especially as DS (MiniDiva? He certainly lives up to the name!) still is not a consistent sleeper. Also DH is very stressed at work, can't be good for him.

I lost 4lbs in the first week of Bootcamp

Grizzer Don't beat yourself up about the coffee and alcohol - I reckon as long as you are not bingeing on either, no harm will come of it. I struggle with reducing caffeine, too, my self-imposed limit is 2 coffees per day, and then I switch to roibosh tea (which I love, so it's not really too much of a problem). And I actually found that if you get a good one, decaff coffee isn't so bad! Maybe worth a try?

gum Your holiday sounds lovely... Do you have the beach close to your house? I think I remember you mentioned it in the past. I would love to live closer to the sea - it's about a hour's drive from where we are, which means we never go there

reni Another month, another opportunity... But the arrival of AF is always such a downer. Agree to the

Well done on the weight loss diva, that is amazing! I'm averaging about 2 lbs a week loss at the moment, but I have to work really hard at this, it doesn't come easy! I am thinking about giving the 5:2 diet a go to speed things up, but can't make up my mind about it! Trying to focus on our skiing holiday in March, so at least I have a goal to work towards.

Well, we have now dtd 4 days in a row, and I am well and truly shattered! Sad to think that this used to be the norm for when we first started dating, but I hasten to say that in those days, we only saw each other at weekends!
I think I ovulated on Saturday, given I had a strong OPK on Friday evening, and my temp has been on the rise since Sat morning - however, it has not done it's usual 'jump', and FF has not yet put the red cross into the chart - guess it'll do that tomorrow, when I have 3 consecutive temps above cover line (I hope!). The Cbfm has been useless, though, I've been getting a 'low' reading all the way through, no idea what to think about that. I am inclined to believe the OPK and temp shift, I think I'll stop using the monitor now...

Well turns out my ovulation detector is better than my on-the-day radar - AF turned up this afternoon.

cloudjumper wow! four days? I'm sure all the exercise is helping the weight loss too!

Hi all, I've been reading along, learning lots!
My AF arrived this evening! I didn't really expect it. My last AF was post mc and lasted 2 weeks so I wasn't sure whether this would alter the total cycle length. It seems not as this AF has begun exactly 28 days after the last.
I'm hoping that once this one is over I will be back to "normal" and chasing that bfp!
Only blip is the dental work I'm scheduled to have on Wednesday which will require a course of antibiotics.

I wish I had paid this much attention to my cycle when not ttc. The time around ovulation always feels like a time of opportunities and new projects for me, even outside of ttc. Sometimes that is a really successful week at work, sometimes I do something new with dd or even something as trivial as finally clearing out that bookcase... Around AF it's more a time for tea, routine and cuddles.

So happy to have found this group and so many on it. I turned 40 last November and have an (almost) 3 yr old and a 18 month old. Had a mmc end of Aug 14 and it really devastated me and . Have been really down about it. have been actively trying for another baby since last October and using advanced CBFM and OPKs but no luck. Spoke to my gp and she said she thinks I need to put a time frame on trying and then give up if it doesn't happen. But am not sure if I am ready for that. Thinking of contacting my OBGYN if nothing has happened by March (will be sixth month of trying and sadly around time my lost baby would have been due). Am not really sure what to do. The other three pregnancies happened really easily and am panicking because it's taking so much longer now.Part of me feels like time is running out and the longer this goes on the more disillusioned I am getting and sometimes think that I should give up.....
Any advice would be welcome!!
Sorry for the rant!

AF is here, like clockwork. I want to start temping this month, the thermometer will be delivered tomorrow. Is it a problem to start temping on cd3 rather than cd1 or should I not bother this month?

reni No problem at all. Starting at CD3 will still allow you to get a clear picture of what your temps are doing during your cycle.

spellbound Welcome to the thread. Ttc in your forties is no mean feat, and more often than not you hear negative comments (don't even look at the stats...). However, there are many success stories, and a lot of them on this thread! I still think that we have a decent chance, but sometimes it's hard to stay positive... Like you, I've had a number of mcs, and with each one, trying to muster the motivation to ttc again is becoming harder. I usually fall pg very easily, but no luck since we started again back in September/October - however, I do think that we could have tried a bit harder... Did SMEP this month and am now in the 2ww, we'll see...
I would agree that talking to a OB/GYN specialist will probably more useful than 'just' your GP - in my experience, GPs know woefully little about ttc in general, let alone for the 40+!
I am having an appointment with a consultant today to discuss my ttc 'journey' and to try help me figure out what my chances/options are...

fromwest Good luck for re-starting ttc! Ask your dentist for antibiotics that are safe while ttc/being pg.

Thanks cloud jumper, I've had the procedure done and been given two lots of antibiotics. I think the second lot is not suitable while pg, but the course lasts five days so I will still be on AF while taking it. So shouldn't it be ok to ttc after completing the course?

Fromwest - it takes a few days for most antibiotics to leave the system, can be longer, depends which one/ how much etc.

Ok thanks Reni. It's metronidazole 200mg. I've just looked it up and it says no alcohol for 48 hours after completing course so I'm guessing this is the length of time it's still active in the system. That makes it very tight for this month.

Cd2. AF. The really boring part of the cycle, drums fingers. I am going to start temping tomorrow.

Spellbound - you GP sounds like she has absolutely no plan to help you? Set a deadline and if nothing happens, give up?? Would she set a deadline to a patient with diabetes and if the blood sugar doesn't improve by diet alone, resign yourself to being an untreated diabetic? Very unhelpful advice.

Hi there,

I'm new to this board. I'm 44 and had a mmc in December 2014, at nine weeks. I don't have any other kids.

I went to see a gynaecologist in March last year to ask about problems with bleeding. He did no tests, but looked at my age and said: "You're not ovulating and you have less than a 2% chance of conceiving, even with the help of IVF."

But my Clearblue monitor said I was ovulating. So my partner and I started saving for IVF and I started looking into why my hormone levels might be out of whack. (Refused to believe I was peri-menopausal, as my mum and gran didn't hit menopause until their mid 50s). I found out that stress can deplete your progesterone levels, so I made big efforts to reduce my workload. I also moved to organic food (as much as possible), and started taking Agnus Castus supplements.

My bleeding problems massively reduced. Then I just got pregnant naturally in October last year. Sadly that ended in miscarriage, but I'm hoping we can get pregnant again naturally, very soon.

I'm trying to stay really positive. There are plenty of 40+ year olds out there getting pregnant (four of my friends have, without IVF). And since my mc, I've found out that many, many people I know have also had them - and they're in their 20s and 30s.

There are also stats that show there was a huge spike in births to 40+ women immediately after WWII - and there are also now record numbers of women aged 40+ having abortions.

I talked to a heavily pregnant lady in a lift the other day, and she was going to be 47 when her baby arrived - no IVF, a complete surprise.

I think all the negative bs that doctors come out with is damaging - so I've chosen not to listen. They're just parroting text books that were probably written decades ago, and making massive assumptions based on age.

Sorry - sounds a bit ranty! But I went into all this thinking that doctors would help, support and encourage me.

So I'm definitely for banning the M-word.

:)

Welcome gingham I like your attitude!! I'm 44 also, so here's hoping that we can prove those doctors wrong. I have to say that my GP has generally been quite supportive. She has never dismissed me because of my age, and has referred me for every test possible on the NHS before I have to go down the paying route. She keeps telling me that there is no reason why it shouldn't happen - bless her for her optimism!!

So, I am on CD8 today, so officially first day of SMEP tonight (although we did have a cheeky one on Tuesday as it was DH's birthday!!). I've been very good at taking my temps, and they are all nice and low. Going to start OPks tomorrow. So far, so good this month - just need to get DH to co-operate with the SMEP thing - that's the hardest bit!!

Ha ha! Break the plan for a birthday treat - well done you. My other half is gamely sticking with our plan, love him.

I haven't done temperature checking at all, I've just been using a Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Would temps be a good thing to do too?

I like doing the temps as it's really satisfying when you see the shift - and it really is quite noticeable. You have to have 3 days of higher temps before you call it, and by that stage you know you have well and truly ovulated so you can happily draw a line under ttc for that month.

The down side is trying to remember to take it as soon as you wake up before you do anything. The number of times I have got up to go to the loo, or go and get ds out of bed and then remembered that I didn't take my temp!! If you can get into the routine of doing it though, I think it's worth it!!

I am starting to temp tomorrow morning. Chart got send with the thermometer, love the cervical mucus row, that'll be a lovely read for DH on the bedside table! Ttc is not for the squeamish I gather. What is the importance "cervix position"?

Hello Gingham and welcome! and hello all. have been lying low for a few days..

Gingham it's interesting you say this - I went to the doc last week to ask to get my hormones tested (I have never had this before and never been offered despite MCs and MMC, and I'm 43) She was very snooty with me - she said 'oh well at your age, you will only ovulate three or four times a year.... if it turns out you DID have chemical mc, and have ovulated next cycle then I might refer you for more investigations, but the NHS won't touch you with a barge pole.' charming I thought... but I will get progesterone tested which is what I wanted.

the thing is I don't believe her. I am sure that I am still ovulating every month. whether the eggs are viable is another matter.

am having acupuncture and also just started on a course of herbs which have perked me up no end! Recommended.

hang on in there everyone...