40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Daft - sorry it didn't work out for you this time round x

Oh, daft, so sorry about AF. Ttc is a cruel business sometimes...

So sorry daft that this didn't work out for you. Fingers crossed for next cycle.
I am currently on day 26 of my cycle. It's quite strange as I have absolutely no af symptoms. Usually I get sore breasts about a week before, and I can definitely tell when she's coming (as I say to DH - she's packing her suitcase and calling the taxi ready for her visit!!). Not got any of that at the moment. I did a test this morning though and got a definite BFN, so it's probably just a weird cycle. AF usually arrives around day 28. The latest she's come in this 18 months of trying is day 30, so I have a few more days to go yet before thinking too much about it!!

Anyone else waiting for af to arrive around now??

joey af arrived today 2 days early. I didn't have any symptoms but still annoyed.... hope yours decide to leave you alone and send you a bfp instead.
There we go....back to dtd....

Daft sorry it has taken this disappointing turn. Hope for better next time and that you're getting by ok

Thanks everyone for the advice and perspectives on OPKs. It was all really useful. I think then I must have ovulated with the strongest lines I got. I'm going to do another month with the cheapies I already bought but then consider changing if it seems too difficult to know what's going on.

Joey I'm also waiting for AF. Getting nervous now as today will be day 26 (if discounting first, partial day of flow - this is when it started last month) or 27 if you just count the first day. I don't get symptoms so no point judging by that. I also try and resist testing at least until I'm actually late to maintain the illusion as long as I can, so am going to wait until Thursday and if AF hasn't arrived then I'll test. DH is away tomorrow till Thurs evening so I'd rather find out either way just before he gets back.

Good luck to everyone else, wherever things are for you.

Just thought I would nip onto the thread to say hello to everyone! I don't want to lose you all again.

I am doing the low carb bootcamp at the moment, inspired in part by gum talking about it as a boost to fertility. I don't need to lose weight particularly, but I thought it might be another way to arm myself in this slog! Am enjoying it actually, only another 11 days of the really hardcore plan!

Argh, I'm out. AF arrived today.

awwww fridge I'm out too. Started spotting today bang on schedule. Oh well. We can be cycle buddies this month. I'm out this evening with my mum friends that I met through antenatal with my ds. 2 already have second children, and one is expecting their second. Great - just to make me feel even worse!!

Have a good time joey and grit your teeth for the difficult bits! Fingers crossed it will be our turn soon. I am in on my own and disappointed in the lack of trashy TV right now. DH is back tomorrow - I had planned to test right before he got home but will have to hold that thought now.

I am slightly encouraged that my cycle was a day longer this time as that had been a concern. Going to take vitamin B6 this month and see if that helps even more, plus I am definitely doing SMEP.

What is SMEP? Do I need to be trying that? My friend gave me some DHEA tablets this evening so I am going to try those. I'm really going to concentrate this month. Going to do opks, temps, everything!! Well, I will at least try - I usually forget after about day 2!! My cycle was also bang on this month - last 2 had been a bit short. Don't know if that means anything

joey SMEP is the 'Sperm Meets Egg Plan' - basically a dtd regime that enhances your chance of conception. The idea is that you dtd on CD 8, 10 and 12, then every day on CD13-15 and I think one more time on CD17 (if you have a regular cycle with ovulation on day 14, otherwise you adapt accordingly). Apparently, the semen quality is meant to be better if you dtd more regularly...no idea if that's true.

Grinch Good on you for doing bootcamp! I agree that exercise definitely makes you feel better. I started running again at the beginning of the year and try to go out at least 4-5 times a week (only for 30 mins or so). It's a slog, but helps to blow the cobwebs away! Plus, I really need to shift that weight that has been creeping up again with all the miscarriages...

I have tried this a number of times and failed miserably because it is, frankly, exhausting! However, like fridge, I am determined to have another go this month (getting a bit desperate). Well, I'll be doing a 'reduced' version of SMEP, as it's CD10 for me today and I couldn't be arsed on CD8!
Still waiting for my DHEA to arrive, it's taking ages... Might pop into Holland & Barrett at the weekend if it doesn't arrive by then.

Thanks Cloud. I am going to do that then this month too! I'm throwing everything at it this month - SMEP, OPKs, Temps, DHEA - you name it!! Oh, and I suppose DTD too (that's always the difficult bit to manage!!).

I'm a runner too. I also try and get out about 3 times a week. I love the 'me' time and it's very refreshing and invigorating in this cold weather.

Officially day 1 for me as only spotting yesterday. I took my temp this morning, so on track with the good intentions so far!!!

Hello everyone, can I join? I am Reni, 40, 1 dd (6) and ttc 2. It was relatively easy first time around, one miscarriage, pregnant again after a month, but no such luck this time.

I just realised that my earlier post wsa slightly disjointed... I meant that I have tried SMEP and failed. I struggle with the weight loss, too, but not because I find it exahausting

Welcome reni, may your stay here be short and sweet! I've also had no problems falling pg in the past (more with staying pg, though), but no luck now for quite a while... But I have to admit that I've not been giving it everything, hence the SMEP!

Thank you, cloudjumper. I hope we will all soon be moaning about stretch marks and stuff on another message board. I stopped contraception (coil) 10 months ago and the we went all out 5 months ago, opk, timed sex, supplements until we rattled, you name it. Stopped opk to relax and am even more tense now that I don't know what day of the cycle it is..

I have read in the 1920s the average age at last birth was 42, which of course includes lots of widows etc so many women who must have been less well fed and healthy than we now are had babies well into their late 40s, we can do this, surely?

Hi Reni! I think there are a few of us with one child so far of a similar age

Re timing it all, the month my DS was conceived we had only DTD twice, and both times so late in the cycle I didn't have any expectation of it working. I'd been very ill earlier that month and had mentally written it off. So something I am going to keep in mind is that although I'm going to try and detect when ov happens, I succeeded last time when totally outside that apparent target time. This month I'm going to aim to cover later dates as well for that reason. I'll probably need a holiday to recover from all the effort by March..

reni Yes, I am still hopeful and more or less positive that it is possible to have a baby in your forties. Lots of ladies have graduated from this thread since I joined, so there is precedence. The stats might not be in our favour, but I'm trying not to let that influence me too much... Some days that works better than others!

Like fridge, I have managed to fall pg in the past after just dtd once (DH was so proud of himself ), it's all about timing. However, due to my biological clock ticking with a sonic boom, I'm thinking I don't want to take too many more chances... I am struggling with mustering the motivation, though, dtd is more of a chore these days

Can somebody enlighten me re: temping? Is it more accurate than opks? My opk (clearblue dual hormone) warns it might not work in over-40s. Picked up ov for me, but maybe it's false? Also, how do you do this- I know you need a basal thermometer, what gory details? Measure under the tongue? Please say tongue... Can you skip days? (Not that I'd try, but the morning rush..)

Fridge, at this rate we'll end up with more sex than teenagers!

reni I have never heard that temping doesn't work in the over-40s! I've been doing it for about 2 years and have found it really reliable, always confirmed the OPKs that I have been using alongside.

Yes, you need a thermometer that shows at least 2 digits after the comma, as the temp rises would otherwise not be picked up. You can get these very cheaply on Amazon. And yes, measuring under the tongue is completely fine!
The general advice is to always measure at the same time in the morning, before you get up and start moving around and getting ready, that is really important. Ideally, you should have had at least 4 hours of sleep before taking the temperature as well.
I have my alarm clock set for the same time every morning to take my temp, which is before I get up - so the alarm goes, I stick the thermometer in my mouth, wait until it beeps and then usually go back to sleep until it's really time to get up. After a while, it becomes a routine.

It's obviously better to take your temp every day, to get as complete a picture of your cycle as possible - but I have missed days in the passed when I've been sick or up during the night with DS.
I can highly recommend the FertilityFriend website, where you can plot your temps, lots of information on there (and they go a good app, too!).

Thank you, might give it a go next month. Will check out FertilityFriend. I spent my 20s terrified of accidentally falling pregnant after the lessons in school about the subject. Oh the irony.

reni I always think that the statistics don't take into account that most women in their forties don't want more kids, as they have had their families earlier - so there are already fewer trying, so fewer of the target group to get pregnant! (Not sure I am making myself clear there, sorry.)

I am not temping, as my DS ensures that I never get four straight hours in bed .

Very good point, Grinch. Another reason to be optimistic.

Hi Reni and welcome. Have you been trying long for #2?

I would definitely recommend temping, as you can clearly see the temp shift, and it's quite satisfying to see when it happens. I keep mine by the bed, and it's the first thing I do when I wake up (or get woken up) in the morning. Like Cloud says, it's best to do it after at least 4 hours sleep, but not always possible with a little one when you have had to get up in the night. But generally I find it quite a good tool.

I'm on day 2 today - remembered to take my temp this morning - nice and low for pre-ov!!

Joey- a bit over ten month now, the last five with opk. Have you been trying long? Sorry- you prob said it ealier in the thread, haven't caught up yet, it is long and busy, which is lovely.

Opks say I ovulate on day 10 of my usual 25 day cycle, which is a lot earlier than I thought. I believed day 14 is normal.