40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Thanks for that info Grizzer.

Thanks Grizzer. I have made appt with herbalist as think I will try vitex.... Good luck to everyone in the 2WW. January really drags doesn't it!

Thanks Grizzer and jassS for the welcome and reassurance.

DS2 is doing brilliantly, and the leukaemia is very unlikely to relapse so I am trying to stay calm! We knew he was doing very well in November 2013 when we received some important test results about his response to treatment, but had to take a while to calm the fuck down after having a dreadful shock and a very scary time - I knew I wasn't strong enough to cope with potential M/C, scans, poss medical abortions etc which is a risk of any pregnancy. I'm pretty certain we are in a better place now.

January really does dead daftgeranium

dead? Drag...

Twunk so glad to hear that your ds is recovering well from leukaemia. What a nightmare that must have been for you. I hope that you are all in a better place now.

In regards to progesterone. When I went to see a fertility consultant, he prescribed me some progesterone pessaries which I should take as soon as I get a bfp. You have to use them for the first 12 weeks of a pregnancy to keep progesterone up. I haven't been specifically diagnosed with low progesterone, but I think because of my age, he thought it would be a good thing to do. Anyway, my acupuncturist suggested that I start using them a few days before af was due, just in case I was getting pregnant, but then not holding onto it because of low progesterone. However, what this does is effectively delay your period, as that is what progesterone does. So it means that you have to take pregnancy tests for quite a few days around that time to see if anything has happened. This didn't sit well with me at all as I never take tests unless I am pretty sure, and I felt that I was interfering with my cycle. I took the pessaries for a few days one cycle, and when i was pretty certain that I wasn't pg, I stopped and af came straight away. I haven't used them since, as I didn't like messing around with things, but that is an option if you think you may have low progesterone. Your GP may be able to prescribe them for you.

As for me, dh and I dtd last night as I was feeling much better. It was day 14, and I'd had a lot of cm (which is very unusual for me), so we are in a good place this month. However, after that, we had the worst night in ages with ds, who was standing in his cot screaming to get out for 2.5 hours, starting at 3am. We knew there was nothing wrong with him, he just wanted to come into our bed, but if we do that, then no-one gets any sleep, so we had to let him get on with it. Of course, no-one got any sleep anyway, and we all felt horrible and snappy with each other this morning, so right at this very moment, I am thinking that one is enough!!!

Joey,cunfortunately there is a theory that low progesterone before bfp can up the mc risks. That is why it is. ften prescribed for cycle days 16-25. Starting at bfp, if you really havethos problem, is really too late. But since you do not know that you actually have this problem, I guess it does not matter too much.

Hi jassS. Yes I fully agree with that. However, I don't think that I am getting pregnant and then having early mcs, as my af always arrives either dead on time, or a couple of days early. Surely if I was getting pg, then it might at least be a couple of days late, and probably a bit heavier than they are? I just don't think that I could do the whole pessary/taking tests thing every month. I might look into this cream though! Thanks.

Well no, I would think you would get at least a weak line on early test if you tested early enough. Chems do not always make you late, in fact. I have had chems which end earlier than normal AF and ones which go over (due to suspected immune issues I am testing 10DPO and catching all these damn chemical pgs).
I was more thinking along the lines that if you have a reason to suspect low prog and you fell pg then miscarried it would be such a waste of an opportunity. But there is no need to guess - do a day 21 test together with basal temperature that month (to check it was not an anovulatory cycle) and you would know then. Of course if you want, not wanting to take the investigations route is undesrtandable also.

I have creepy feeling this month that I had a xhemical I missed because hcg never went high enough. I think i am going crazy probably, but I felt for couple of days this terrible heaviness and sleepiness which has always beenmy first symptom, appearing usually a week after OV. It only lasted 8-9 DPO, I am probably 10 dpo now and the feeling is gone. The test was neg this morning, but had a bad evap line after about one hour from doing it. I guess I am turning into a loon, expect me to pack a baby doll into pram or stick a pillow underneath my sweater soon....lol

Hi all - crikey, what I would give to be 39 ... or even 43, Notsoold, but v. sorry to hear about your miscarriage .

Twunk - really good to hear your DS is recovering so well. I've a little cousin who's completely over his leukaemia now, but his poor parents went right through the mill for a while.

Well I haven't posted much in the way of personal updates, as I'm actually still waiting to start trying again after my MC in late August, yes, bloody ages ago - and panicking like crazy.

I wanted to take a little time out after the MC, to straighten my head out, plus have a whole pile of RMC tests, one of which you had to wait 2 cycles for. So I did all those tests (nothing treatable found), but then ended up having investigations for a completely unrelated health issue which has really stressed me out. Hopefully I'll be able to start TTC beginning Feb, but that's a LOT of time lost - it totally sucks.

Anyhow, I hope I picked up some tips from the miscarriage consultants. Two separate consultants advised progesterone supplements (Cyclogest 200 mg pessaries twice daily) from positive pregnancy test until 12 completed weeks of pregnancy. I didn't get any advice to take it earlier than that, 'just in case' you're pregnant.

A different fertility doctor had already prescribed progesterone pessaries with my DD, so I used them from 5 - 13 weeks. Then my NHS obstetrician decided it 'wouldn't hurt' to put me back on them from 20 - 36 weeks, although I'm pretty sure he did that just to calm me down (had several episodes of bleeding when pg with DD) not because he thought there was necessarily much therapeutic benefit after 12 weeks. Having said that, I took the pessaries just the same with my MMC - quite obviously they can't save a pregnancy that fails for other reasons.

An interesting point about baby aspirin - I'd read advice to take 75mg daily whilst TTC. But this RMC Professor I saw told me it blocks the action of an enzyme that helps implantation. He put in his letter: "we advise against taking aspirin in the early stages of pregnancy as it may interfere with the preparation of the lining of the womb for pregnancy". However, he did recommend taking aspirin from 7 - 8 weeks of pregnancy, as he said there's good evidence that it helps prevent pre-eclamsia in about 15% of cases.

So in the midst of not being able to actually try, I had some baseline fertility tests done this week to try and keep an eye on things. Wish I hadn't fucking bothered! Last month FSH was 6 (the same as last July), which was fine. This week FSH was 12 !!! which panicked me a bit. I also had an Antral Follicle Count scan, which was 8 (four each side) - again worse than back in July when it was 13. I'm scared to get AMH retested as it was already low (1.8) six months ago. DP says, well at least you've "got some eggs" and FSH "could be worse", but he has no more idea what all this means than I do. Any thoughts much appreciated. But high time to crack on and see what happens I think.

Jass - the 'creepy feeling' you described. I'm convinced I had an early, early chem once myself - all sorts of symptoms that soon just vanished. Its funny how you can 'know' ...

Because you get pregnant so easily and so often - did you ever look into one of those immune / NK cells protocols where you take a v low dose steroid - e.g. 25mg Prednisolone - from ovulation (well, from positive OPK), then stop on negative HPT, or carry on if pregnant? (I was recently investigated for that type of stuff but it doesn't seem to apply to me.)

I have done the tests and it did not show up. Nevertheless, with 4 pgs without a single mc in between, when suddenly tons of mc, seems typical of immune issues, my womb is just protecting my life so that I could grow my existing crowd. There is a theory that body sometimes knows it would bleed to death with next child and so rejects pregnancies. Sometimes it can revert, that is what I am hoping. It is true that I had placental troubles with three of my 4 pregnancies, i.e. it tends to grow into muscular lining. So my body is doing what is right, considering no medical help. But it does not know that nowadays I would not bleed to death, unfortunately....

And yes, even without rised NK cells I have been on prednisolone with several of my mc, it did not help. I can not start pred post-ov, I have to wait for bfp, or it messes up my OV for next cycles. But anyway, it did not help. Best progress I have made was in Aug last year and that was without pred. Also, I have the nagging worry that I had some long-time retained products until my last erpc, as doc said it seemed really ingrown. I have had since second mc bleedingbefore AF which suddenly now disappeared after last mc. So my hopes now are up that if something chromosomally correct forms it might stick finally:-)

Here here JasS. Are you all attending private cons? You seem to have great advice.

chewy to be 39 again sounds wonderful ( running to check yet another wrinkle)

Loads of fabulous advice on here. Well done, girls!

Welcome, Twunk, so sorry you have had to go through such a harrowing time, but very pleased to hear that your DS is in remission. I can't imagine how worried you must have been.

Chewy, that's really interesting about the aspirin. For a long time I had been taking it during the 2ww. I have stopped in the last few months - I am pretty well off all supplements. Seems pointless. However, I'll feel like a complete idiot if a bfp was to show up out of the blue and I haven't been taking folic acid. I probably only have a 1% chance of pregnancy at my age, but it's still a chance, no matter how tiny, right? And my GP had great delight telling me (when I got pregnant last March) that I wasn't the same as other 47 year olds, that my fertility wasn't nose-diving like the average "woman". Hasn't helped keep a pregnancy though Anyway, I should just start taking a prenatal again. I have a cupboard full of all sorts of sups, I just can't seem to get a routine going.

I am pretty sure AF will be on her way in the next few days. That's ok, as I didn't expect anything this month.DH has a sore back, but getting treatment, so hopefully in the next couple of weeks he'll be able to DTD. I do worry about all the anti-inflammatories he's been taking. Would that affect sperm? Actually, I think his thyroid is still not quite right - he's on medication, but I think the dose is wrong. He's having a blood test next Thursday to find out. Maybe that's affecting the quality of his sperm. I am really grasping here, but there may be something in it?

I think my progesterone may be lowish too. I have taken my temperature a few times in the tww, and it really isn't very high (it used to be much higher). It doesn't surprise me that it would be lowish at my age. I believe a B supplement can help, so I might add that. Is it B12 or 6? I think it has to be a B complex?

I have tried a progesterone cream, but I am a bit unsure about the stuff. I've read such conflicting stuff: some women swear by it, others say it made no difference, and there seems to be little scientific proof. I think if you are worried about low progesterone, then it is worth having a blood test done, to find out for sure, then have the script ready for when you get a bfp.

Some of you may have read about my struggles to get that happening last year. I live in a rural city (it's rather like a big town, not a city) and we have tonnes of GP's but few "specialists" (what you'd call consultants - I am in Australia). I have two gp's, one a woman, whom I really like, but is impossible to get an appointment with as she does all the obstretrics in town, the other, my family gp, who has been looking after my family for 18 years, delivered three of my babies, but knows little about fertility. Anyway, I asked my female GP to give me a script for progesterone, as I had hoped it might be the key to helping me keep a pregnancy. She prescribed three different things: all were completely wrong for pregnancy (tablets, one was estrogen hrt, one was for bringing on AF, the other was another form of estrogen!) In the end she didn't want to prescribe anything, even after I emailed her the information on what I should take - she wanted to send me to a fertility specialist in the big city, but I didn't want to go as I am pretty sure they would just tell me to stop being silly and do DE IVF). She did , however, test my progesterone level at day 21, and it was fine - but that was a while ago.Then when I got pregnant early last year, I saw my other GP and asked if he'd prescribe progesterone. He told me he felt it was pointless, that my body would produce it and all would be well. I miscarried that pregnancy, but I think it was just a chromo issue.

So, it has been close to impossible to get progesterone, and so I bought the progesterone cream. I guess if I was 100% ttc (rather than supposedly throwing in the towel and being realistic) I would see a specialist and maybe get the script for the pesseries. But there would be a huge expense in seeing a specialist and I can't really justify it.

Sorry about the novella

I'd better get ready to run DD's into work. I think I'll take DS too and visit his cousins, he will love that.

Gum, it has to be B6 to help with thenluteal phase. I find them together with folic acid, good combo. But it is made somewhere in Latvia, so hardly available in Aistralia...

My doctor is not private, but is university hospital, fertility issues expert and more a scientist than just a doctor. She also has contatcs w prof Quenby and prof. Christiansen in Uk and Denmark rspectively.She has consulted with them both about me (because I fit their scientific interests I guess). Frankly, I find finding quick specialist help in Estonia really easy compared to your stories in UK or my own Luxembourgish experience. I checked, we have more doctors per 100 thousand habitants than any other country in EU....

Hello everyone, back to say hello properly rather than in the midst of the kerf unfelt the other day. I am sorry to have been absent for so long. My head has not been in a good place at all, the mc brought up a load of shite from the past that I thought I had long ago buried. But I am determined that 2015 is a new start. I am even trying to think of a new name, as Grinch is probably a bit - well, grinchy!

twunk so sorry to hear of your terrible time with your son's health. Wonderful to hear how much he has improved.

gum did I ever say that I am a fellow Antipodean? Here in the UK for the last 21 years, but retaining a faint accent. And still fall over cultural differences in unexpected places! Oh, and about the 1% chance - someone has to be the 1%, right?

I have just had a chemical pregnancy in the last cycle, which bizarrely has cheered me up a bit. It means I am still ovulating and can still get pregnant. Wasn't sure after the mc that that had been my last opportunity, as my cycle was so all over the place. Now just need to keep one. At the age of 45 - did someone mention being 39?

I don't really have anything to post. Just wanted to climb back on the wagon. And hopefully remain here...

Hi guys. Can I just ask how you know when you have had a chemical pregnancy? Does it mean that you have to test before af is due? I really hate doing that, and I've always just gone by af arriving, which she usually does bang on time. Is there any other way of knowing about a chemical? I would be interested to know if I am getting pregnant at all but not hanging on to them. Does it mean I have to start peeing on sticks every month?? Thanks.

Hi, can I join please.
I'm 41, had a mc Xmas eve, absolutely gutted and trying to get on with my life, busy doing a social work course ATM but it's the last thing on my mind ATM also!
Have older children but me and my partner of nearly 4 years would love our own child to complete our family.
Taking vitamins both of us and read books on getting my eggs into better shape, diet, exercise, supplements etc, going to start charting bbt when my period comes, already started ttc, I hope it happens.

Hi Ladies

I just wanted to pop back and wish all you fabulous ladies a very happy and fertile new year and that you all get the BFPs you desire .

I am 30 weeks now and my LO is hanging on in there. I am starting to believe that he will actually make it - he is certainly making his presence felt by wriggling/kicking around a lot -especially when I am trying to get to sleep . I am still be monitored closely which is quite reassuring and my anxiety is lessening over time.

I saw your debate on aspirin and thought I would add that my consultant put me on baby aspirin at 12 weeks onwards to reduce the risk of ore-eclampsia. They don't recommend it until that point which is when the placenta will have taken over. They also made sure I was taking a pre-natal vitamin with iron in but I have to take extra supplements as my iron levels have been quite low.

The final thing is that I have not had any negative comments at trying to have a baby at 45. All of the (many) medical professionals I have come across have been very supportive and have commented on how longed for he must be

So here is my stats for the list:

Greenlizard 45 - 30 weeks Pregnant with #1 DE IVF. Conceived twins but lost one at 9 weeks. 2 miscarriages last year (1 at 12 weeks ERPC, 1 at 8 weeks blighted ovum). AMH 1.3 FSH 8.

Good luck will be keeping up with all your journeys and cheer you on from the sidelines.

X

Ps. hopeful2015 so very sorry to hear of your miscarriage. It is so difficult and I hope you are taking care of yourself. You have come to the right thread for advice and support.

I hope your 2015 is your year

Welcome hopeful and welcome back Grinch. Fancy you being an Aussie Sheila, 'ey? I am guessing you decided to leave the beautiful shores of Oz for the chilly, grey skies of the UK because you met a man? Or perhaps you stayed as the British are a bit more cultured than the convicts down here?

I know what you mean about the chemical pregnancy - sorry it wasn't a sticky babe, but I get what you mean about feeling positive about getting a positive. I always felt lucky to get the two pink lines (or blue), it helped me think I was still in with a chance.

Right, I am off to take my multivitamin, B-complex and folic acid. I am still a bit about aspirin.

Green - I am so pleased to hear from you and to hear all is well with your LO. Only 10 weeks to go. Woo hoo! have you made plans for the birth? SUch a lovely, exciting time

green! How fabulous! Not long to go now until you meet your DS, what's your due date (if you don't mind asking me?). So pleased for you, hopefully you are able to enjoy your pregnancy a bit, after all that heartbreak you have had.

Welcome hopeful, sounds like you are doing all the right things!

joey Well, my (maybe simplistic) definition of a chemical pregnancy is that get a BFP and then your period starts shortly after, ie. you don't get past the 4-5 weeks stage. So you would have to test to confirm that you are pg in order to say whether you are having chemical pgs or not.

There is a lot of debate out there regarding aspirin, the opinions are very divided. Some say to take baby aspirin when ttc, but I think the general opinion is more and more that aspirin can interfere with implantation and should therefore be avoided during ttc. Or during pregnancy, unless you have a blood clotting issue.
The obstetric haematologist that I have seen whenever I have been pg has advised me to take it when pg, but this is because I had a DVT a few years ago, and the risk is increased when pg. I also have to take heparin because of this.

10 DPO today, but am resolved not to test yet. I've had some backache and cramps in the last few days, so there is a distinct possibility that AF is on her way. But of course, these could also be pg symptoms... So will try to distract myself until Tues or even Weds to see what happens.

green so lovely to hear from you - I was wondering how you were getting on. How exciting that you are 30 weeks and feeling all the wriggles.

gum technically speaking I am an Ozzie, having been born there, but was brought up in NZ. Family Irish and been in the UK for 20 years, so god knows what I am really!!

Interesting debate on aspirin. The specialists researching HELLP and preeclampsia recommend taking from a BFP if you have had severe PE or HELLP but maybe that is because it's assumed there are good reasons for that. Certainly the general obstetric consultant I saw said from 12 weeks. In my case I might go with the specialists next time (get me!) since they work with my specifics closely.

So. I am low carbing, taking supplements religiously, exercising. Stress is still a bit of a bugger. How on earth do you deal with that? DS is going through a sleep regression too, so sleep is at a premium, which in turn contributes to the stress . I am going to take a day off work soon just to try and sort my life out a bit.

Welcome, hopeful so sorry to hear of your mc and the timing of it. Do look after yourself. I know how easy it can be to throw yourself into other things, but you need the time to recover as well.

Green good to hear all is moving towards a happy ending! Or is at end at all - after all,cwith DE you prob have time to go for no 2!

Joey, I guess only testing helps to find out a chem. I quite often have a chem detected 10-11DPO and lose it by 14DPO, so if you really think you may be having em, test. There are ealry symptoms I have, like sleepiness and lots of watery discharge, so maybe you could also try to see whether you feel different some cycles than others and test if you are more tired/have sore breast or sth., so you could rule in or out the chems. Lots of people prefer not to know though, but for treatment needs it might be useful

Gah, big temp drop today, and I had some spotting this afternoon. Looks as if I am out for this month
My consultant appointment on Thursday got cancelled, he had been double-booked (not his fault, and he was very apologetic, but still annoying). Now it'll be on the 28th instead.