40+ and TTC? Join the club...

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

Returning to the thread after 'joining' then disappearing - can I ask for some OPK advice from other users?

My cycle has always been regular, though has shortened in the last year or so from 28/29 days to usually 27 or fewer. Last cycle was 26 days. So we're now in our first full month of ttc - started part way through last time. DTD on day 7, 11, 13. Around day 10 I dug out the OPKs I had stashed away. I did use them last time round but that was 7 years ago so am struggling to get into seeing the lines properly. I got lines on day 13 and 14 that were distinct, but not as dark as the control line. However, on day 15 there was no other line to be seen other than the very, very faintest trace. Since then, same, no line. So can I assume that even though the line didn't match the control line, that was my 'surge' happening? The OPKs are not the newest (I got them a while back and then ttc had to be put on hold again, so they're within date but not by much).

I'll actually be glad to think that I have ovulated around day 14, as I have been concerned for a while that my shortening cycle would mean a short luteal phase and cause problems ttc. But just don't know what to think. Is it worth DTD still now for this month?

Last question: all of the above is based on counting the days by day 1 being the 'first full day of flow' as I think Toni Wechsler says (quoted on here somewhere too) rather than the day AF actually makes a first appearance. Is that what everyone else does? I have previously been counting day AF starts as day 1 but then read some stuff and thought I was probably wrong. I had a vague hope of doing SMEP this month but a weekend away with DS in the same hotel room as us put a spanner in the works a bit...

cloudjumper sorry about your bad luck on the spotting and appointment fronts.

Can't go back to previous page now but hope everyone's doing ok.

Oh that's interesting re AF starting - I have usually a day of a tiny bit of bleeding then it starts full flow.

My cycles are 28 days - can practically set my watch by them. I've always assumed I ovulate in the middle. This month I didn't really feel like I did ovulate so I might start with the OPKs.

Hi ladies. Yes, I believe Toni Wheschler says that day 1 is full flow - if it starts in the morning. If it starts in the afternoon, then day 1 is the next day.

Fridge, as for the OPK's - I'd say you may have just missed the surge - it may have been earlier on 12 or day 13 morning, or later day 13. Sometimes I get almost as dark but not quite as dark lines, but then do another test the following morning (and I know everything says not to test in the morning) and get a blaring positive. The surge window can be quite small and easier to miss. I think that's why the clearblue fertility monitor can be quite good as it measures estrogen as well as LH, so that you have a better chance of catching the surge and the egg.

One way to have a better idea of when ovulation took place is to take your temperature. When I was doing it, it took some of the confusion out of the equation. I didn't do it properly last month and regret it a bit, as I wasn't sure of when I ovulated, but also whether there's been a significant temperature rise. I took my temp for a few days in the tww and it seems quite low, but that may be because I am sleeping in a very cool room, or it may not be that low compared to pre- O temps, but I don't know..Anyway, lovely AF turned up yesterday. The weird thing is that I had very tender boobs, even after AF showed, which is very odd. I always have the breast tenderness fall away before AF shows. However, I am having a full flow, and there's no mistaking it for "implantation" bleeding, and breasts are less tender today.

Cloud, sorry to hear you are out too this month. May next month be more fruitful I have consoled myself with a bit of this today.Actually, the last three days have been a carb fest, looks like I might need to go easy tomorrow, and may even have a fast day if I can manage it. Or I will go to the gym and do a dance class (more fun than fasting!)

Cloud sorry this wasn't your month. I hope next month will be.

Ds2 slept through the night ...first time in 14 months and a bit.... I woke up and waited waited waited.... go figure!!!
We had dtd for the amount of time I could convince dh. Now it is all about school, timetables etc for him ( a teacher obsessed with his job.
So the wait starts....
Can't scroll back...sorry but
Fridge you might have lost the window of opportunity here....

Hi guys :) sorry you're out cloud, the appt thing is v annoying, how long do you have to wait for a new one?

Gum, I had that last cycle! So much so I did several pg tests thinking my v light af MUST have been implantation bleeding. But no. Just a wtf cycle for me anyway. Did you do a test? Just in case?

Fridge I'd been using the cheapie opks and I got v frustrated cause the lines never seemed to get strong enough and I couldn't tell if I'd surged or not. Was a bit afraid I wasn't ov'ing at all. My cycle has shortened a bit too which also threw me. Anyway I bought the smiley faces ones this time and got the surge day 12. Was good not be squinting and wondering though they are flipping expensive.

Still waiting on af here, am feeling stiff but not much else period or pg wise...

hello all, I'm 13 dpo and finding the waiting so so difficult. BUT I feel, and look, like a beached whale, and don't remember that from pg, so.... oh we will see....

Have never used opks but I'm finding the temping thing really interesting. My temp for the last few days has been higher again, so I'm trying not to thing triphasic ;)

am I right in thinking that a few of us are synchronising as we are on the same forum... hahaha!

I am having one of those wtf cycles, probably as a result of the chem last month. It means I didn't ovulate when expected and of course DH was away... So probably out this month. Heigh ho! And time marches on...

On OPKs - in my experience, the test line hardly ever comes up as strong or even stronger than the control line (certainly for the brand that I have been using - Amazon cheapies), so for me, a positive test is a test where the line does appear and is easily visible, regardless how strong it is.
I've also found that it is very easy to miss the surge, the line can appear and disappear again within the space of 12 hours sometimes! So I think that you ovulated on/after CD14, fridge!

AF has arrived today . I need to make a more focussed effort with ttc again, I think... Sigh.

Sending hugs grinch and cloud. It's difficult, isn't it.

I have been doing OPKs for around 10 (all lost) pregnancies now. And one successful before that. I have never seen a line darker than control, I only test once a day. So I assume OV happens on the first day when line is back lighter. I usually get two days worth of a line quite similar to control, but still somewhat weaker. And then. a weak one. As I have got bfps on day 10 from the first not positive OPK, I assume I usulally ovulate on that day.So, if in day 12-13 you have strong OPk lines, and day 14 is a weak one, I guess you are ovulating around day 14.

Sorry, Cloud, that you are out and Gum, you too!
I did not do OPks this month, which means I did not know OV date and have instead been peeing on hpts. More expensive this way, i will in the future stick to OPks and only need hpts on days 10-11. This time I have tested 5 days in a row....All neg, so waiting for AF. No spotting pre-AF again, so this seems to be really solved by last eprc. I have a cycle as I used to have it - no spotting in late luteal phase.

Still no af here, poas this am but it was definitively negative. white white WHITE. Don't feel pg tbh. AF all over the place lately sigh

Sorry anyone who's out, but soon time for another go!

On OPKs I admit I gave up on cheapies and use the bloomin expensive smiley face ones (altho a bit cheaper online). But at least they're decisive, and I find if you ignore the instructions to start testing as ridiculously early in your cycle as they say, and start maybe a day (or so) before you expect a +ve, you can get away with only using 2 or 3 tests - makes a box last longer!

I had a shred of good news - I did a test and I'm deficient in Vitamin D! I'm sure many will know, low Vit D is said to be linked to low AMH, subfertility, even miscarriage. So maybe some extra supplementation will help, who knows ? (Searches for "deluded" smiley face in list ...).

Not sure if you can get tested on NHS (???) but for anyone who may be interested, I used a home test ($47) - wasn't too tricky - that you post back to a lab: www.zitawest.com/buy/services/tests/zita-west-vitamin-d-home-test-kit.htm.

Results said "a level of at least 75 nmol/L is associated with improved fertility and IVF outcomes" - mine was about half that - and apparently should be "between 75 nmol/L and 100 nmol/L". They said to take 1000iu (25mcg) 3 x daily, i.e. 3000iu daily, then ideally re-test in 6 weeks.

Anyway, I personally found it interesting as one of the RMC consultants I saw had also suggested taking 1000iu (25mcg) twice daily, i.e. 2000iu total, without any sort of blood test. He said none of the popular pre-natals have sufficient Vit D - but afraid I hadn't bothered taking the extra tablets . Oh well, new start tomorrow ...

wilting - did I miss something? Are you late? Re-test tomorrow?

Sorry to you ladies who are out this month. I hate that time of the month when the disappointment sinks in. Usually takes me a few days to recover and then I get positive again as the next cycle begins!!
Giraffe - I completely agree about the smiley face OPKs. It's so much easier just to see the smiley face than try and work out whether lines are lighter/darker. Like you, I have become pretty sufficient at starting to use them on the right day, so that I only ever get through 2 or 3 a month. Not that it's made any difference to me getting pregnant!!!

Interesting about the Vitamin D. I might start taking some of the supplements anyway. I'm currently not taking anything. I got so fed up of taking folic acid and nothing happening that I kind of had a strop, and just stopped taking anything. If I ever do get pregnant I will have to take an overdose of them to make up for it!!!

Not much happening with me. I'm about 6dpo - didn't do any opks or temps this month, so don't fully know when I ovulated, but if it's as per usual, then I'm about a week away from af. I usually start getting sore boobs about a week before. That's not happened yet, but I'm sure it will happen in the next couple of days. Trying not to think too much about it this month.

Good luck to everyone who is getting close to af/test dates!!

I'm on vitamin D anyway as I barely left the house/hospital for about 8 months. Otherwise I just take folic acid.

I'm out for this month too but then I expected it. Sorry for everyone else too.

Smily face OPKs are on my shopping list.

You lot are terrible for getting me to spend money :) Will have to add some posh opks to my shopping list!

I am about 3 dpo I think but I didn't take much notice of ov this month. I've been taking soy isoflavanes the last 3 months and I don't know whether it is coincidental but my cycle has been back to 28 days (had been around 35 / 40 for a few months).

I think I have more or less given up though.

Gerald - given up this month, or given up generally? Don't give up! Well, s'up to you, but sounds like you've made progress, re perfect length cycles etc. And you're relatively young aren't you? Even if your user name reminds me of a house track from 1988 (A Guy Called Gerald - Voodoo Ray) and hence that I am, in fact, quite ancient for this caper!

So it's 14DPO for me, my period would normally be here, and couldn't resist a test this morning. I've got raging PMT symptoms double the normal, and high temps.

... and a very faint line appeared in the test window!

hardly dare to hope this is good - I wonder how long it will last. still, the old body's got some life in her yet, perhaps....

keep your fingers crossed everyone.

Oh my goodness! Fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossed for you daft

Wow Daftgeranium, that's amazing news!! So pleased for you

daftgeranium wonderful news!!! It made my day!!!

Yay daft! A line is a line

Interesting about the Vit D chewy - I would suspect that everyone struggles with getting some sun at the moment! I leave the house when it's still dark and get back in the pitch black, the only time I get to be outside is during the weekend!
But I would have thought that the pre-natal vitamins would cover the RDA for Vit D... I will definitely check that tonight.
I've decided that I will start taking DHEA now as well - one of the books that I read made a strong point for this helping to boost egg reserves, apparently it is commonly give to women undergoing IVF.

daftgeranium - A BFP!!!!!! What fantastic news, good for you! And I do hope you might hang around here a bit and continue to encourage us with good progress!

Cloud - on the Vit D - yes, I thought the same as you that there should be enough in prenatals. But as I said, one RMC Consultant I saw (Dr Shehata at Miscarriage Clinic) recommended 2 x 25 mg Vit D daily on top of whichever prenatal you take (Seven Seas, Pregnacare, whatever) as he thinks you can optimise the dose. I'm pretty sure that's the same general advice he'd give everyone, as despite testing a million other things, he didn't test Vit D. Then obviously Zita West recommended a slightly higher dose still, but that was on the basis of my blood test.

Hope you get on OK with the DHEA - would be interesting to know how you find it? I've just started it too, but struggle to remember to take anything 3 x daily .

FFS - 25 mcg twice daily (2000 iu total). I guess 25 mg would be a lot