Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Happy Birthday Lala, hope Mr Lala gets the nerve to phone and you have a lovely time tonight xx

Happy birthday, Lala! Sending you cake and yummy tea!

I had my cape on last night and it seems that the prodding finally made the ERTD start. Cramps are horrible today, blood is streaming out and I feel like shit. I want wine and a smoke. The husband has been warned that he'd better come home with chocolate.

Happy birthday lala, have a great time!

Hope you have a lovely time tonight Lala - make sure you get some birthday cape action too x

Sorry the witch is being so awful Fatty. Kill the pain with chocolate and wine.

I'm having an awful one too Fatty. I think it's psychological because I sooo don't want it. I hate periods anyway but now they are the fucking pits!
I'm just thinking now that it will be gone in a couple of days and then I get to get my cape on and get busy trying again

Happy birthday lovely La! May your birthday cape be sparkly.

purple and fatty

no news here - couldn't be arsed with pissy sticks this month so doing it the good old fashioned Jsing way (but he's out late tonight so no cape for me).

Red, a heartbeat, I am utterly thrilled for you.

Gaggia, gross just ewww

Purple fatty,

I swear I have just had the worst 2 days of busyness, and all whilst being sexually rampant frustrated, still had no nookie on the Sunday night. Monday morning we notice the cat is limping and not letting anyone near her leg so she got bundled in cat carrier, and taken to the vet. Luckily only a cat bite cyst,so the vet thinks, I was panicking thinking she broke it, so only a jab and anti-inflamatories (sp) and check up on Friday. Bushes came for the car, dp fixes bushes car still fucked but wheels not screwed anymore. Get friend round to assess car, he says transmission and possibly gear box. Better off scrapping it. Then spent 2 hours trying to get house nice with kids being bribed into doing chores for icecream helping, as letting agent will be round to check it next day. Kids go bed late. Me and dp go bed, he falls asleep in 2 minutes flat this time! This morning wake up, check for dead rodents, sort school runs etc, go to next town after offering brothers ex girlfriend fucked car if she can fix it, she jumps at it ...lovely!try To get loan, park in carpark see a dog in a car, panting away, windows barely open, pop in pay mates rent come back out, dog still there. Wait ten mins think owners have come back, turns out they are not owners but people who had parked earlier in morning and were also concerned for pooch. So I rang the police. Who came nice and quick to smash the window in!! Went to apply for loan was about an hour drove by dog incident and police are still there with the dog. Waiting on loan. Used what cash we have to get new car!!!!! We got a chud wagon!!! (Multipla) which means we have a spare seat to fill!!! Do thinks that tonights sludge will be the one that does it, I'm five days away from period. Not going to happen dear sorry about essay guys.

Dp not do and spudge not sludge!

wow babble you have been busy! love that u now have a extra seat to fill in the car...maybe its a sign!

Poor pooch (I think spudge and sludge work equally well!)

As my knicker watch has been so interesting (for me - not expecting anyone else to coo over the contents of my pants) I've been googling methods for checking for EWCM so I don't balls up so much next month. I'm going to have to be careful what I google in work though.....

Yesterday I was reading through a case study and came across the term diaper work (in relation to brickwork). Uncertain whether this was a genuine term or a typo, I googled it and sure enough it is a form of decorative finish. However I then scrolled down the google list and to my surprise found there is a fetish site for men who wear diapers on a regular basis for kicks. Google had hit on a specific thread on wearing diapers to work. With the same compulsion that draws people's eyes towards a car crash, I clicked on it to and read out the madness to my colleague for a chuckle. We both thought it was kinda sweet that no matter how weird you think you are, there's probably a whole internet community out there waiting to embrace you. However my newly installed, up-to-date IE now displays your favourite sites on tiles when you open it. Since this was the FIRST flipping website I'd been to since installation, it suggested 'diaper days' was my favourite website

I'm now no longer of the opinion that 'in-private' browsing is purely for porn.

Hey shaggers! There is a real baby in there.. whoop!!! xxx

Awww Popz that's lovely!

ah congrats rpopz

just got my appointment to see consultant through...3 weeks tomorrow! finally!

Hurray Lil great news!

Popz we're going to need more of an update than that! Glad it's good news though.

Haha Pis, you'll get a letter from HR shortly . What people get up to never ceases to amaze me.

Awwww popz that's amazing! Hooray!!

And great news lil!!

Thank you for lovely birthday messages we went for dinner which was lovely until I had proper ttc meltdown after dinner, sobbing about Mr La not understanding the stress of testing etc. all good now apart from puffy eyes today - it's just been a bit of a stressful time with work redundancies etc.

Mr La phoned clinic (hooray!) but results not back yet. My appointment was therefore a waste of time but oh well

Due af today. No symptoms to speak of

Xx

I do hope the ertd comes early this month, I have back ache and period pain, don't like it

babble I did feel for you with your busy day, so familiar!

Cat bite abscesses are awful, lucky you caught it quickly. And well done saving the dog, you've likely saved its life
Sorry to hear you are sore

Woohoolil. 3 weeks is nothing, you'll be shagging with intent so very soon again kid!
Happy birthday for yesterday lala, sorry didn't realise as this topic fell off my 'I'm on' list.. Must try harder to post.
Xxx

Congrats rpopz bet it's reassuring :)

Congrats rpopz that's wonderful!

I still haven't applied the cape since the incident

Oh wow Popz that's fab xx

Aargh babble to your car woes. Hope you're all sorted soon

Fx for test results lala, keep us posted

Thanks Dudettes!

Great news on the app Lil, hopefully the ball will be rolling soon!

Hope you enjoyed your meal apart from the emotional end La - wine always does that to me too!! Any sign of the witch?

Sounds like you've been busy as usual Babble!! Hope you get a well deserved shag soon