Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Morning all, I haven't visited all weekend and was sad to be missing all the fun....then I read the last comments to gaggia and was quite pleased to miss that fun, tis not a good time to be put off putting on the cape.

Sorry purple and good luck lala hang in there fatty maybe not the witch yet.

The witch is due today, so I'm trying to avoid peeing in case I see her....which is tough as I have been peeing for England for the last few days and have nips almost as sore as my burnt shoulders. Keeping fingers crossed.

I think all the TWOTters will have to discount nausea as a possible symptom as we recall poor Gaggia's ordeal.

Good luck fatty and butter

Anyone for

I'm so sorry Purple, she's been a particularly nasty witch to you this cycle :(

Gaggia, that is the grimmiest thing I've ever read! Thanks for sharing though!

I'm off on a wee min cruise with mummykato next monday, and will miss my fertile window... might be a good thing to give myself a break for a month, especially while DH has the hayfever!

We've had some awesome shagging this weekend, however I'm straight off AF so fruitless from a ttc pov, but fun all the same. Just furious I don't have an intercourse diary yet to boast about it! (I lost the feeling in my middle toes!)

By the time said diary arrives I bet we'll be on a drought!

Thanks girls xx
Witch is being particularly vicious and I'm feeling very sorry for myself

And Gaggia I'm going to pretend I didn't read your post!
You did make me laugh in your instructions to him to dismount though

When did you last test Fatty? Do you normally get spotting before AF?

Haha Pis, good point.

Not sure if I can be bothered watching tennis Butter, when's Andy M playing?

Where did my post go ? I'd said a big 'ewwwwwwwww' at gaggia

Ughhhhhhhhhh....vomitus maximus.

Gross.

Yuck.

gaggia I am sorry to say I am laughing at your expense. Ew, ew, ew.

purple stupid evil witch

To everyone symptom spotting.... carry on hooya!

My scan went well this morning :):):) little heartbeat flickering on the monitor and everything! We couldn't hear it but the machine could: 108 beats per minute at 6 weeks. I feel a million times less anxious now (for now at least, ha ha). I am still not leaving you ladies for the grads fred yet, though! I may dip my toe in soon, but I have to straddle both. After all, I started the piss in post thread!

He's winning at the mo wil. I love a bit of tennis.....and concentrating on that stops me running up to the loo every five minutes to make sure the ERTOD has not started flowing.

Straddle away red but put some knickers on eh?

delighted to hear about your scan! What a wonderful thing!

Exciting Red amazing to see a little heartbeat, im new to all this and still find it unbelievable that at 6 weeks a heartbeat is already there going crazy.

Oooh! How exciting red! Lovely

Yes please do wear some knickers - bit disturbing otherwise...

fatty did you say a week late? Are you newly off pill?

Oh that's lovely red!

Have fun on your cruise Kato! Never noticed a loss of sensation in my toes.... Sounds like a challenge for DP

Enjoy your cruise, kato! What ship?

Oh i caught the last set thanks Butter.

Fab news Red how lovely.

ah red!! just ahhhh!!

feeling jealous of katos toes!! haha!

well I feel left out so I'm going to symptom spot the things I usually symptom spot so that in future I know not to symptom spot them!

OK so sore nipples since icing day, starting to go off now (4dpo), feeling bloated - most definitely the booze and cake at the weekend, bigger boobs - rocking my low cut tops in the sunshine!

it really is quite refreshing to know I'm not pg and not be wondering. I would highly recommend a month off to the 1yr+ers! except the lack of sex sucks

yo yo!!

been drs this am and I have a blood test booked in for 29/7/14 to see if I am ov-ing.

Mr Duck was very much in a "strokey thigh there there sweetie" mood until I told him that he may have to jizz in a cup, at which point he went a bit funny and chuntered on a bit about the fact he can't just knock one off at will. Poor little soldier has hidden in his man cave listening to test match special all afternoon ha ha.

It is very disconcerting having to tell your GP about the amount of cape action you're getting especially since he doesn't look old enough to go to the shop by himself let alone have had sex!

Sorry about AF purple everything crossed for next cycle.

red awwwwwwwwwwwww hearty congrats!

Doggy style is not going to happen, if he coughs in the same post code as me again he's getting sent to his Mam's.

Boo sorry about the witch Purple Have some

Awesome news about the scan Red! Mine is on Wednesday, I'm terrified! And straddle away, I'm doing it as we speak

Good news about your blood tests too Ayles. Sounds like you need to have a word with Lalas other half... get some of his JIAC enthusiasm onboard

Lovely to hear red :)

Had bloods done today, actually day 22 but yesterday was a Sunday! We'll be going for results in a week or so I think.

Tesco stopped me from testing far too early! Wanted a Frer but they didn't have any and AF not due for 6 days

I'm sure your bank account will thank you Zyla!!

Awww red that's fantastic. Makes it all seem more real now. I'm so chuffed for you

Fx for your scan RPopz. Hoping for a sticky bean