Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

well dh finally found some testosterone. finally got him into the bedroom now for another 2 week wait... for sex! mind you once I've iced I probably won't be so upset with him about it, lol.

I will never look at a Pringles tube in the same way again!

yey well done lil!

yeah I feel way too crappy to get the Cape on. am sure by second trimester it'll be fine...

I'm on app and forget who said they are POAS tomorrow. (was it could)? But good luck whoever you are!

AF/BFP due in 11 days. I think it will be AF as my left boob is hurting.

I think my cold may have gone or is it the calm before the storm?.

In honour of you all I'm going to consume a tube of Pringles then piss in it just to test the theory.

PIAPT - ROC for hungry girls.

lmao

Oh my god it's mr Las birthday, he is wasted and I just finally got him to leave me alone and go to sleep.

Such a funny thread! So I always thought she wees for pee, moon cups for ertd? I pee in cup at festivals.

Good. Luck to twotters! Xxx

Pringles are ruined for me!

Yeah you have to eat them before you pee in the tube or they will get ruined.

Shewees for weewees, moon cup for ERTD, Pringles for emergencies, none of the above as a conception aid (especially the Pringles tube )

Well I POAS but got BFN, have no clue when AF is going to deign to appear. Have had one AF since coming off mini pill so according to those dates this makes it CD30. I guess AF is waiting in the wings. Either that or I've tested too early. I should not buy any tests as too tempting to pee on them!

I reckon we've got the first part of our next title already...

Shewees for weewees!!

could might be too early still - not out til the witch sings!

PIAPT, ha!

I had no idea people actually used mooncups! I thought it was just hippies at glasto as there are ways signs for them on back of festival toilet doors. I've used shewees (and peemates) many times.

Still twotting, af/bfp due 27th. This cycle is draaaaaagging coz I iced early I think.

Dh off to clinic today, he's quite excited bless him

Name: fluffymouse
Age: 26
TTC since: february 2014
DCs: dd aged 3.5

RANT TIME!

So as we can't ttc this month I thought I'd give blood. I stopped going when we started ttc for obvious reasons. I phoned to check I could give after being on the antibiotics I was given for hsg. turns out the anti biotics aren't an issue BUT because I'm "under investigations by a Dr" I can't give blood, even though I haven't seen a f'ing Dr yet and there's nothing wrong with me, my dh just has Moron sperm.

ANGRY doesn't come close!

Am I losing the plot?
Witch didn't turn up this morning like it always does so I POAS -wtf?
Obviously it was a bfn and it was a cb test too. Haven't found FRERs anywhere
I think I am losing it

Oh lil, I think sometimes they actually don't want the blood! They've stopped me giving blood now after three strikes for being ill/failed to give. I have good blood damn it! Can you make DH go? I tried to make myself feel better by getting others to take my place!

Am I the only one to just hover over a festival toilet and not try the shewee?! Maybe I am missing out. I was jealous once when I saw a girl using one to wee against an icecream van. Felt bad for the van of course but jealous of the freedom!

dulcet the last time dh gave he passed out, had what appeared to be a seizure, and ended up in a&e! my mum can't give cis she had cancer and thats pretty much the only people I would have any chance convincing!

as for shewees I've never even been to a festival so, ya know!

hi fluffy sorry didn't mean to ignore you!

purple the waiting game continues! enjoy crotch watch today! fx tho

purple witch is a troll sometimes - try to put it out if your mind and see what happens. Could be stress delaying or could be bfp but not enough hormone yet. Fx for bfp!

lil they won't let me give blood because I'm ttc, can you believe. I've tried so many times now and I've been told if I go again and can't give I'll be struck off for good. It's ridiculous.

fluffy hi!

lil sorry you cant give blood, I feel your pain. I have been banned too I have dodgy joints, spoke to a doc and they thought it was 'ME related' honestly, I've seen people with ME, I ran a triathlon last year! cant prove it, cant disprove it. But no I'm now unwelcome. Sucks.

Hang in there could

Day three of a stinking headache is with me...sore boobs too, but could all be the witch. I guess I'll just have to wait till Monday.

Love a bit of symptom spotting! Fx for bfp butter

Fanks girlies. wonders if all the JS'ers are all girls

I'm still on pant watch and I have a night of drinking tomorrow night too....work function!

Where can I buy a FRER?

I have never been to a festival but I have been to see bands in Sherwood Forest before so had to use 'those' loos

I also get turned away from giving blood as I have deep set veins. I used to go but it was torture as they kept trying to find one. The tests they do when you're upduffed do scare me a bit!

Purple glad it's not just me POAS impatiently! Although at least you know when you're due, I don't even know that so am quite literally p'ing into the wind!!

Is FRER the first response test if so you can get them in superdrug

Shame about not being able to give blood. I'm not eligible to give blood either, I'd love to as well (here, if you're from the UK, you can't donate). At festivals, I always used to go on a toilet (always horrible and dirty and the lines took ages, but I wasn't going to use a shewee).

We went to V last year, not necessarily a proper festival but a festival none the less....they had some lovely ladies from a Cancer charity with a couple of loos that they guarded and kept clean. Cost you a quid to get in but nice clean loo with paper and soap and everything....and all the tight buggers didn't want to pay so the line was shorter too.

Good luck Purple hope the pants behave.

Fx purple and could and butter (and anyone I've missed)

Can you not donate if you're TTC? Might try and sneak a quick pint in soon as I'm only just setting out on the TTC journey.

Glastonbury does have the best loos of any festival I've been to but even grim loos are better than peeing all over your shorts and there's the PIAPT in the comfort of your own tent option