New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

Pregnant people everywhere are absolved this week. Even the one that came with the comment 'well this was hardly on my bucket list but I guess we gotta suck it up'.

God the consultant said let there be droid and on the 10th day lo there was droid. It fucking hurts but I can't really complain, it's just a massive relief to be honest.

Whoop! Whoop! Go DROID! (on this specific occasion).

BESH I have a problem. I'm not quite sure how to say this. I think I've developed an intolerance to gin.

I'm sorry Barking I'm not sure I'm hearing you right old stick. An intolerance you say, to the gin you say? My very palms are sweating for you. How does this horror manifest if you can spare the pain of the telling?

Nice work Cherry!!

Nothing wrong with a bit of lightweightedness Barking. Non-lightweightedness is over-rated and has led to a shortage of gin in my house

Go go cherry!

barking I am assigning you extra gin-drinking homework until normal service is resumed.

erica I hope things are not as bleak as they were yesterday. Crustaceans of courage to you right now.

Cherry it's rather distressing, truth be told. I have, since abstaining for a period of time from the old baby making efforts while awaiting a chat with the doctor, been quite partial to a few gins. The following day being a school day or not a school day anymore actually, which is why I'm able to be drinking on a school night, but I'm confusing myself now didn't appear to matter, business as usual as they say. Then last week I had but two G&Ts in the pub. I was left feeling a little delicate in the morning and not my usual energetic self. Then at the weekend I had a couple of G&Ts at a party and the next day could scarcely raise myself from the bed until after 10 of the clock! I was left with lingering feelings most unpleasant.

BESH, what do I do?

What a terrible pickle my friend... It does appear you are rather affected by the substance. Pray tell... Is it all intoxicating liquor or specifically the botanical variety that does confine you so? A most misfortunate tale. How about imbibing some berocca with that? You know, the best you with a hangover you'd ever manage.

Maybe Effin has it right, gird the loins and get the double rations on the table.

Cod of comfort to you Erica, how are you feeling?

Thanks for the cheerleading hags.

It must be something you ate Barking. It can't be the gin. It just can't. Maybe something was up with the tonic?

Cherry -- whoop whoop - go body and amazing drucks!! Keeping everything crossed it continues that way

Oh hags! Had a massive crying fit on Tuesday night and felt somehow cleansed ... I've also been at a conference since, which has provided a distraction!

Barking Definetely something you ate!

Ttc sexy times start this week end. Aaaaaaaargh, so anxious already, how could I think I could do this 'gently'?

Good point Fab. You can never be too careful with tonic.

Glad to hear you had a cathartic cry Erica and the distraction therapy is almost working. Deep breaths for the sexy times or neck a glass of red wine seems to work for me either way, jumping in I guess is the only way. Hmmm, sardine of sexiness probably ain't gonna cut it though. You're on your own there love...

I have a grim TMI question for you hags
Before they did a complete runner a couple of years ago my droid has been a bit of a non event for years and years. Hindsight says shit hormones at work. Even on the HRT I'm lucky if I get anything at all. The consultant suggested I would get a good bleed after all the northeristerone to clear stuff out but even this chemically induced one seems to be fizzling out a day later after it started.

So does this mean lining is shit or it's not all clearing out properly or my extra clotty blood is doing an uber efficient job or I'm reading too much into it and I should just shut the fuck up and see what the clinic says on. Monday?

Anyone know the correlation between lining quality and droid? Not something I've pondered much before and now I'm interested... discuss...

No idea on the correlation but my ivf droid was pathetic both times too and they didn't seem bothered at all! Are you on any of the ivf worrier groups Chez? Egg buddies was a godsend for me when I was going through it we were all innit togevva innit and you get people on that journey who seriously know their ivf shiz. Are the egg buddies still around does anyone know?

Cheers Fab, that's reassuring to hear! I did look for an egg buddies type fred and didn't find one that wasn't full of baby dust I'll have another ferret though, share the load of ridic questions with you poor folk

Cherry I've been reliably informed that quantity of DROID and quality of lining are unrelated (it was always a concern of mine). Troo fact.

Ok BESH, solely for the porpoises of skintific research I have got oneself squiffy on much red wine followed by a rum chaser (vv nice it was too). Tomorrow morning we shall ascertain whether I can't handle my alcimahol, or whether it's just the tonic that is tres dodgy.

Good luck Barking - praying that the hangover gods are kind to you

Chez of course you can ask questions here - we should all have a wealth of experience between us by now and I'm sure there are PESH lurkers (that's you Bugs ) that can also give ivf advice especially when they are ivf winners!

Gutted that the egg buddies have turned into a bunch of babydusters - that was the reason I joined MN in the first place as I'd finally found some people going through the same thing and their only thing for joining was that you had to hate babydust and swear. A lot. Suited me just fine!!

Sshhhhh, keep the blimin' noise down would you?

I'm feeling very delicate. I think it was dodgy dim sum.

Fanks for the reassurances hags! Oh Barking you lightweight! hope your Friday got better, what a mare!

Damn that dimsum - be there were prawns involved. It's always the damn prawns and never the rum that's for sure!!

I'm allergic to prawns. Maybe there was some cross contamination....

Dealt with it by drinking bubbly at the office party tonight. Felt ok so moved on to sloe gin at a house warming party. Now not feeling so ok . Really glad that an hour ago on the spur of the moment I agreed to get up at 7am tomorrow and try a 108km cycle ride.

Oh Barking you are a trooper. Massive respect How very dare the hangover gods frown so unkindly upon you.

Chez hurrah for droid! Am sure that it's heaviness or lack thereof is not a reflection on anything. This Is Good News. Praise be.

Effin there must be some relief in knowing your body is sorting itself out, but I'm sorry you have to put ttc on hold and eat scotch eggs. Hope the family news improves.

I am missing red wine . Had a small glass of red on holiday and it just made me want more...had to make do with alcohol free beer. Not bad actually but I am vicariously living through Barking's drinking binges.

Erica sorry to hear about all the announcements and subsequent meltdown. It's understandable. And Kate fucking Middleton...I wish she would just get out of our faces. She got married a month after me but I only started to dislike her when she got diffed the first time. Haven't liked her since. Don't they know the dangers of telling the world in these early stages??? I hate the nativity of it most of all. Oh and the ROYAL BABY excitement of seemingly the entire world. I couldn't give a rats arse. Anyway, glad work is giving you a distraction. What do you do over there pray tell?

I had a lovely holiday hags. Now back to reality and continued home improvements...sigh.

Any more experiments in the name of science this weekend Barking?

Glad you had a lovely holiday Fankle, TBH I'd be relieved at not craving gin... it's something I worry about a little bit... too often its an easy way to chill out after a bad day. With any luck I'll have to develop a different non baybee harming bad habit in its place. that will probably involve mega calories instead otherwise it's gin and puppies all the way for me!

How are you doing this beautiful Sunday morning Effinand Erica? (Is it still morning in Africa Fab I did used to lurk a bit on egg buddies to fuel my IVF menkul, they were a good bunch but BESH is better

Whatsup Hags?

arse arse arse - my lovely message disappeared. grrr. Now let me see, where was I?

Barking how's the head love? Have you now completed your clinical experiments into gin consumption vs hangover? I haven't seen your full notes but it seems to me that you'd be well within your rights to assume that hangovers are directly contributed to someone spiking your food with prawns.

Chez, you're right, BESH is best :)

Fankle, hope you had a lovely time on your hols? Where were you again? It's Blue who's in Mauritius isn't it? I'm looking for a last minute holiday for when my contract finishes before I start the next one which will be 7th Oct - anyone have an idea on where's good at this time of year? My last hol was the lake district in August last year whilst I was in IVF 2WW so it wasn't my best time away - we're quite desperate for some time away from everything!

Hags I have a stinker of a cold and am feeling very sorry for myself - I've actually been in bed for two days I feel that rubbish :( I feel really pathetic doing this over a cold but sometimes just soldiering on doesn't get you better any quicker and I hoped a weekend in bed might help but I'm still feeling rubbish. Boo. What a wuss. Someone quick, give me a shoulder punch or something...

my sympathies- both MG and I have come back from Crete with colds. So yes, we were in Crete and it was lovely! Still hot...and likely to continue to be into October so good for last bit if sun before winter sets in. We stayed in a fab little hotel just outside of Chania. Shame about the cold ...hope you feel much better tomorrow.

Did anyone notice my hilarious typo in my last post? 'Nativity' was meant to be naivety . So just to reiterate, Kate fucking Middleton's naivety in this early stage of pregnancy is massively annoying. That's all I will allow myself to say on the matter for fear of offending any loyal monarchists or Kate lovers.

I have heartburn hags. And a blocked nose. And a cough. Bleurgh.

Happy Sundays hags,

In solidarity with Barking, I've consumed a lot of red wine this week end. Had a boozy date night with Mr Erica on Friday and went to a baby-free, bump-free birthday party last night. Today I've spent most of the day reading the Paying Guests by Sarah Waters in the garden , eating cheese and drinking tea. Feel a bit hangover but quite cheery and enjoying the sunshine!

Fankle Glad you had lovely holidays! I work for a social enterprise that works supporting girls and women with reproductive health and menstrual hygiene education. I really love my job but it does make me feel really powerless sometimes.

Chez High Five!! BESH IS BEST! I asked my gyno once what light/heavy periods mean and he said that most times, it was random and shouldn't read into it unless it super extreme.

Fab Sorry you are ill, it sucks! i won't punch you but I will throw a concoction of lemon, ginger, honey and whisky at you, it's a flu killer!

I think I'm going to ovulate Tuesday/Wednesday, so Mr Erica and I had a little friendly chat about our sexy times schedule for the next few days. It's fine but TTC does do strange things to a relationship!

Also: what do you do in terms of drinking alcobooze during the 2ww? I tend to drink less that I would normally (usually I stick to water in the week but enjoy a few on Friday/Saturday night) but still feel guilty thinking how it could affect the outcome. On the other hand, the three times I got pregnant, it was over party week ends/holiday so... what do you think?

I have to say, I love the the BESH admit to missing alcohol during pregnancy/TTC/whatever. Motherhood/wanting to be a mum doesn't turn you in an nun and thank fuck for that.

fankle ta for the respect but my drinking prowess is less awesome and more a little embarrassing.... Unfortunately it seems that over 2.5 years of being careful 'just in case' has left me woefully incapable of drinking more than one drink without having to (wo)man up through the consequences the next day...
Still, one most persevere through these things.... Hope your heartburn/cold/cough all fuck off soon.

And I loved your typo . I was imagining a staged nativity scene with Kate as Mary, and the newborn prince screaming in a manger... That should be a better media opportunity than sneaking out the back door of the hospital.
I've avoided all mention of the event - have they announced really early again? I know their hand was forced last time, I'd assumed they'd waited until the 12 week thing this time. As an aside she's looking really old and wrinkled, doncha think hags? .

cherry no further experiments possible, after Thursday/Friday drinking I did a stupidly long bike sportive yesterday, and by the time I got home having been on a bike for 7.5 hours I was almost dead only a tiny exaggeration couldn't have lifted a glass to my mouth if I'd wanted to! For the first three hours of said bike ride I was still feeling hungover. It took two attempts to eat breakfast in the morning as I couldn't face it the first time!

Fab head now fine, cheers. Will be returning to clinical experiments tomorrow evening. I have realised that I have failed to follow the basic rules of science investigation that I've been teaching primary school children for years, in that I've changed more than one variable. Tomorrow night I shall try drinking only red wine. Later in the week I shall try drinking only gin. I'm sure you're all waiting with baited breath for my report.

Erica a bump-free, baby-free party sounds amazing! Hope you've got your sexy times schedule pinned to the fridge . I'm not the person to talk to about ttc and alcohol, I naively stupidly cut it out completely, then after a couple of years started having a few drinks in the first two weeks, now currently trying to fall off the wagon but it keeps running me over then reversing and knocking me back down again.

Phew, that was a bit of a long one. I've got my mc clinic appointment on Wednesday. Likely to be nothing but a few blood tests and then more waiting, but I'm already feeling a little on edge, like I've got to face things again rather than ignoring all things ttc as I've been doing quite happily since the end of the last mc.

High fives BESH! Man I fucking love Sundays.

lalalalalalallala

Sometimes ignorance is total bliss. Just remember you only have to act on the info when you feel bloody good and ready as if the bloody clock will let you

Hurrah for a sprog free party Erica, what a strange job you have! So are you like tears and tampons full time? Sounds exhausting and like it has easy potential for hormone overload especially when mixed up with all this TTC lark.

Hoping your colds feck off soon Fab and Fankle have a mackerel of mentholness to see you through.

Please pray to the god of wombles for me. I'm back in for dildocam scannage tomorrow, all being well to find some nice tumbleweed blowing about in there and fuck all else. pleasepleasepleaseplease.