Home on the amazing and determined TTC after mc-ers. We know all about the ups and downs, trails and tribulations,, how it feels to live in the cruel world of Facebook baby bombs. Solidarity, sisters!

[Justonemoretime]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Im so sorry were all a bit low ladies :(

Sorry to hear what you've been through. It's all just shit.

I'm still wrestling with the take more time off/don't take more time off debate.

How long have you had off? What is your job?

I had a week and a half off and then it was school holidays as in a teacher. This is my third week back after the holiday and I'm really struggling.

Well, AF has rocked up today. 26 days after my mc. In a way I'm surprised as I thought it would take longer - but also not surprised as my normal cycle is 23 - 26 days so its almost like my body knows what to do and as returned to normal.

This is it peeps - going to be positive and this time, bean WILL stick.

Just scared as to how I will feel if it doesn't happen. But trying not to think like that. Being positive that I CAN do this is the only thing keeping me going.

Treacle, take every single day as it comes. Get through tomorrow. Then get through the next day, then the day after.

I hope you feel better soon - I hope we all feel better soon x

Wow, what a busy thread today! It was my first day back at work, hence why I haven't been posting like a maniac.

Welcome all the newbies, I'm sorry for your losses

Lou I had to terminate my first pregnancy too, after Edwards syndrome (very severe, babies die in womb or within a few days of birth) was diagnosed at the 12 wk scan. It's a heartbreaking decision, I really feel for you.

Any miscarriage is awful. For me, the worst thing about MMC are the scans and the words the sonographers say that you will never forget. With the first one, it was my 12 wk nuchal, and looking back on it they knew from before I even lay down because my bloods were off the chart. The junior sonographer immediately handed over to the senior one within a couple of seconds. She could tell straightaway there were all sorts of problems. It lasted ages and they were SO quiet. And yet me and DP were looking at him thinking the whole time he was perfect. And then she said "all finished" and I thought 'great!' And then she turned around and said 'There's a problem with the baby'. I'll never forget it, I can hear her saying it now. The second time (MMC) it was the dreaded 'are you very sure of your dates?'.

I'm another 'if I conceive this month, my due date will be x' person! I think ttc turns the most sane people into maniacs, ttc after a miscarriage just dials that up to 10. For me, what's driving the desperation to be pregnant again is the overwhelming fear I will never be pregnant again. That I am somehow damaged and my body will forget how to do it. That's why I think a follow up appointment with a consultant to do a scan and look at your bits and just say to you ' everything looks fine' after a miscarriage would help so many women feel more positive.

Sigh. Stay positive ladies.

Good luck to everyone in their tww!

carly you're absolutely right. I don't think it matters at all how you mc or found out you have a molar pregnancy, it is an awful awful thing to experience that you can't even begin to describe.

I also agree and sympathise with still being devastated. My mc was 17 weeks ago tomorrow and I make no apology for still being devastated by it. There's no time set on grief and our angel baby will always be part of my life, no matter what.

I can't remember who asked (on my phone) re whether it is easier to deal with mc if you already have a child. No. Absolutely not. They can numb a little of the pain by being silly, doing a funny dance, saying certain words (our two yr old likes "knob" as discussed the other day ) or understanding you're upset and therefore giving lots of cuddles and kisses but, no, it doesn't make it any easier.

Who's going to give us some posifrickentivity this week then?!?!

Monten - the fear I feel about never being able to conceive and then carry to term consumes all my thoughts. I guess they are normal thoughts though.
Broody - it was me that asked if it was easier if you have little ones already. I know now it's not though.
On a positive note, I seem to be surrounded by pregnant ladies and new borns, this was killing me but now I have a competition to beat my previous days target and starting to giggle as I tot up the total daily.
Today was a personal best
4 x preggas on tube
5 x preggas walking from tube to work
1x preggas lady that sits next to me at work
2 x preggas ladies in front of me in q for burrito lunch
3 x preggas ladies on walk back to tube
1 x mother singing to her newborn on tube platform

Anyone beat that!!!!

It's a great tww distraction! And perhaps it's a positive sign for the future!

Hi :) Wondering if I could join you lovely ladies.

I was briefly pregnant over two weeks ago - period was six days late, had two BFP's which just got fainter and fainter and then finally a bleed. I don't really know if this is a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage but regardless, I was/am devastated. We've been TTCing number 2 for several months with no luck. I think I about to - or am in the middle of ovulating but I've no idea if this is possible or what but we have continued TTCing.

broody in some ways I think it's harder to deal with a mc if you already have a child...I keep thinking about the potential my baby had, now I know what my DS grew into in my belly, who I gave birth to, who he is now at 19 months. Not to take anything away from anybody just...I was so naive and ridiculously lucky throughout my first pregnancy. But then I have a baby and some people don't and that's awful and stupidly unfair. I don't know. It's all hard.

Treaclepie speak to your curriculum leader and head if you're really struggling to cope. You can go to the doctor and get a sick note to cover your absence if you still feel unfit for work. my department is so understanding and all my colleagues looked after my classes to ensure I don't stress when I return. I don't know how much your colleagues have helped you but if the work is too much and you're not coping and finding everything difficult, speak to your head. Honestly.. Your health comes first and nothing else.

Hi zebra, that's interesting. I do wonder if when I ever have a baby ( please please) it will hit me again because I will realise, fully, what I've lost. Who knows. Children or no children, natural mc, MMC, molar pregnancy or tfmr, it's all shit. We were pregnant and now we are not and that is shit. I'm sorry for your loss.

broody I agree we need some posivrickingtivity. But if I ever say 'baby dust' make sure you punch me. lou I like the idea of seeing the funny side of ludicrous ways the universe likes to rub our face in it. I want to know where all these fucking pregnant women were hiding before this all started!

Hi zebra, I remember you from a thread a while back, not long after we had started ttc and I was asking about bf while ttc. So sorry to see you here. Look after yourself x

Well ladies, this month was not my month, af arrived today. Have already calculated new potential due date! Thank god I'm not the only nutcase who does this!! Chin up, tits out and fish slaps to anyone who needs them!

Thank you hope, my head has tried to be understanding but the other staff are being horrible. Not the ladies I directly work with I might add.
I'll speak to the head again tomorrow. If there's no resolution ill be going to get signed off.

Sorry to hear that office :(

I know what you mean about the due date. I also caught myself calculating what would be happening around 8 and a half weeks (the time I miscarried last time).

I just want to clarify that I dont think any miscarriage is more/less painful than any other they are all unbearably shitty.

I am just getting so frustrated with my boss who keeps suggesting I should talk to my gp about being depressed, IM NOT DEPRESSED, im devestated, sad, angry and lost but I cant get that through to her.

shes experienced losing a baby so I thought she would understand, the fact that she clearly doesnt made me wonder if its because we had different types of miscarriages, I dont want anyone to think I was belittling their grief, I was just musing out loud I suppose.

Ok af is nearly finished and im feeling a little more positive.

my plan for this month is to have sex everyday (preferably twice), dp is very happy with this plan

Haha smiling, that made me giggle. My DH can't wait for af to be gone. Think its the end of it today. He will be pleased.
With pregnancy bleeding and then the mc we haven't had sex for ages.

Also my boS's is the opposite, never had or wanted children. I know what you mean though because I've found the people who have had miscarriages at work aren't very understanding.

Tbh not many of them are. They're too worried about what they can moan at me for next.

Sorry, I am happy sometimes honest!

Cd7 today, will be starting again tomorrow (if af goes)... Nervous but excited.

Lol smiling, that was my plan this month I am now a) walking a bit like John Wayne and b) never, ever want to dtd again! I must have enough sperm floating around me to make a sperm factory! Sorry tmi! Keep panicking at work I smell of it...

Treacle I am CD 5 tomorrow and ready with my sticks and cbfm. I am feeling excited, anxious, happy, sad, fearful but after being on here for 24 hours I already feel much more normal knowing we are all thinking about the same things.
In the nicest possible way I hope none of us chat for too long here and we all what we want. I'm rooting for everyone if us!

Monten - the preggas ladies.... I NEVER noticed them before. It's like there hiding behind MASSIVE trees ready to leap out at me. I stare FAR too long at them also. I can't help it!!

Aww lou, it does help knowing youre not alone doesn't it.
I'm temping but will use my ov sticks from about cd10. I'm a late ovulater.

I ovulated on cd16! Which is today. I've been ttc this month and will join the waiting game with the other ladies this month.

Sometimes I just laugh at this situation thinking wow I would've been 5/6 months by now.. But you know what everything happens for a reason- this experience has only made me stronger and more wise and to appreciate all the blessings I do have in my life.

I'm glad you are feeling positive hope :)
Fingers crossed for your bfp :)

Can I just ask a tmi question? End of first period after mc, is it normal to have dark brown blood and black bits? Guessing it's just old blood but I stress about everything at the moment.

I had that following my first erpc before the second was done but my AF was just super light and super short. I've read in lots of places the brown blood is normal though.

Yep first af after erpc was light and I had lots of clotting (which is actually normal for me but it was worse than usual) and at the beginning and end was brown blood.

this month has been normal but a little longer than usual.