Home on the amazing and determined TTC after mc-ers. We know all about the ups and downs, trails and tribulations,, how it feels to live in the cruel world of Facebook baby bombs. Solidarity, sisters!

[Justonemoretime]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

treacle making the decision to have time off was extremely difficult for me, i havent taken a day of sick in 6 years! The guilt I felt about letting down my employers was huge and deeply upsetting but im so glad I did.

I wouldnt have been any use to the children and I needed time to grieve for my baby which I couldnt do whilst looking after someone elses, despite the fact that I love my charges.

im still not back to my normal hours, ive been doing a slow return, its been hard but I feel able to cope now, I didnt for a long time.

if you need more time off take it, take as long as you need.

I find it strange that if we had lost a 3/4/5/6 yr old society wouldnt think anything odd in us taking 3 months off work if needed, but because our babies werent visable to them we are expected to just get on with it and return to work as soon as the physical pain has gone.

Thanks just, you're probably right!

smiling, i agree. It's the paperwork I'm not doing. Im managing most of the time with the children.
I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

A friend, who is a counsellor, has very strong opinions about this - that there is something almost misogynistic about a culture where we are expected to maintain a vow of silence about pregnancy. And if you have a miscarriage you're not supposed to talk about it. It's a bereavement, but it's messy and it involves bleeding and a womb and therefore we aren't allowed to mention it lest people feel uncomfortable.

treacle I'm sorry you're not feeling great. You could speak to your gp about how you're feeling, I would be surprised of they wouldn't sign you off for another week or so. Then work just have to lump it.

I was planning on going back on Monday but this infection has really knocked me back. The doctor signed me off for another week, without hesitation. This coming weds will be two weeks so I may go back then.

Thanks monten, i just don't want to let them down. We have sports day Friday that I'm meant to be organising, I'm meant to be observed monday afternoon, the week after reports are in and it's induction evening for the new parents as well as every Wednesday inductions for the new children.
Feel like I'll be really looked down on for not being there and be lost in September.

Also treacle early af pains (a week too early) were my first pregnancy symptom, both times. #justsayin

Haha it can't be that monten, i am bleeding and we haven't managed to dtd.

I'm just not sure if this is mc still or af. I'm going with af so that we will be trying again soon.
Had a panic moment of "oh no what if it happens again".
What a roller coaster. I feel so bad moaning when some of you ladies have had it much worse than me!

Oh god, sorry treacle. And it was me that instigated the introductions

Having it happen once is enough, no ones experience is less valid than anyone else's - it's shit for you and you're entitled to feel as crap about that as you want

Haha don't be silly monten :)

I am sitting eating biscuits and chocolate now after a long chat with DH. Not good for my diet!

Just, I love the fact you've posted a cat picture! I'm definitely going to discover unfollow buttons, it'll make life much easier as I get my daily fb fix!

Monten, I'm not sure why people want to put pictures of their womb on fb but I'm pretty sure they haven't been in our position or they'd know how much it kills the rest of us! It's pure jealousy on my part though!

I also found a smoking, drinking mother and, very uncharacteristically, gave her a bit of a bollocking - think my hormones were all over the place on that day - or that's what I'm blaming! Super unfair!! Xx

I'm sure it is af Treacle remember, we are special!

I took 9 weeks off in total - I felt guilty but my doctor said I needed it to physically recover - although it did get complex physically to be honest it did me the world of good to be allowed to get my head straight. Sports day will still happen other people will pick up the baton. If you want to use my planning for various sports day events based around the Olympic values you're welcome to it - just leave it at school and take the time to recover - school definitely shouldn't be observing you - it's the last thing you need! The rest of the the things are so small in comparison to what you're going through. You can email reports through and I'm sure the children won't notice if you're there for transition or not - as long as they see the setting that's all they need. Make sure you're giving yourself a break and don't be so hard on yourself. This is the one time you need to think of you :). Big hugs xx

We are Mrsgingerbread :)

Thanks boozle, sports day is nearly organised now I just need to get some helpers.
You're right I do need to look after myself. My head is just a mess. As for my observation, i don't know what to think. I've planned it but I know it won't be good.
People just expect you to be fine after a week. It's been a month since I started bleeding so now I think they have forgotten all about it.

Agree with what bootle says. We are all so very good at feeling guilty. When did we learn to be so hard on ourselves? Sadly, in my experience, no one gets a medal for soldiering on. You need to be the guardian of yourself. There is no 'should'.

Facebook unfollow has saved my life. Everyone who is pregnant has received the treatment, as have some others just for being so damn annoying.

Treacle, do you have union support? Hopefully the pressure to go back from is your own sense of work ethic and not in RL, but seek advice if you do feel pressured. On one hand, work can keep you busy and take your mind off things a bit, but if you're not ready, you're not ready. Still, only 5 weeks to go.... :) Take care of yourself.

I think if id worked in an office or supermarket etc I would probably have gone back sooner but as a nanny whos rresponsible for 2 children I just didnt have the energy to give to the children.

that sounds terrible I know but for the first month it took everything I had just to get through the day there was nothing left over to give to the children

I know if they were mine I would of had to but its different, they were a reminder of what I didnt have ie I love them, cook for them, take them to school, help withhomework, bath them, put them to bed and then leave them to go home because they arent mine

Thanks everyone.

The problem is I've already been back.
The head has been good in one way, she's giving me all of Tuesday to catch up with work. In another way though she's set up this observation and still pressuring me about sports day.
I'll see how I go. Really don't see the point me being observed though.

Another Low on the CBFM cd10, no EWCM, instead I'm getting the kind of creamy cm indicative of pregnancy, albeit with negative hpts of course!! I assume my progesterone is still high, will be interesting to see if I ovulate later this cycle.

The amount of times I swing between quitting altogether and sticking with one child as it's so much easier, to convincing myself he needs a sibling and I will really regret it in the future if I don't 100% try whilst I'm potentially still able.

I'm upset that I've heard nothing from the two part time niche jobs that I applied for two weeks ago. The industry dictates that there wouldn't be 100s of applicants as most people wouldn't want the work that I do and it's quite specialised. Anyway, I haven't even been called in for an interview even though I've worked for the (MASSIVE) employer before, quite recently.

Sorry just seem that I've waded in inbetween a conversation, sorry girls xx

treacle it doesnt matter if youve been back its perfectly ok to say I tried but it isnt working I need more time. Do whatever you feel is right for you x

sebsmummy thats really rubbish about the jobs, is it worth contacting them just to check theyve recieved your application?

Thanks smiling. It was an online application both times with a confirmation email afterwards so I know the applications were received

Still, it's a bit rude not to give you an update sebs, least they could do is say they're short listing or are taking time to review applications or just a simple sorry, you've been unsuccessful this time. What is it you do, if you don't mind me asking?

I don't think it works like that anymore unfortunately. They just write a caveat underneath of something similar to; if you don't hear within 6 weeks assume your application had been unsuccessful.

I look after animals within the science field broody. Not along the lines of beagles being forced to smoke fags, more along the lines of breeding fish and monitoring frogs.

Sebamummy I get what you mean about considering quitting altogether and stuff. I feel the same. One thing that keeps me going is my husband has a son already, and it's very hard on my daughter seeing him come and go all the time and not be particularly interested in her- he only talks about this other sister he's got at his mums. Makes me so sad and one day she will realise. So I'm determined to give her a sibling before she starts to realise how awkward things are!!

Just had some spotting so I guess af is on the way

im trying to stay positive but I just want to curl up and cry.

Af is here, very light and early