Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

Knicker watch here too RPopz. Not due until the weekend I think but you know how it goes. Every loo trip is exciting now!

Just looked up endo mich, sound horrible. Why can't they just check?! Sounds relatively straight forward to check. Hope the appointment comes through soon!

Hows everyone feeling on the Monday morning? Grey here - like my mood!

Feeling a bit bonkers this morning! My cycles have been 33, 34, 35 days recently so af could be due tues/ weds or thurs!!

Me and Mr Rpopz have been JSing like nobodies business this weekend (probably because there's no chance of making a baby at this point... typical lol). I just can't get enough!!! Hoping its a preg thing?? Wishful thinking...

Well it's definitely a second trimester pregnancy thing, so maybe you're just getting it early! You should probably pee tomorrow, just in case my life is so dull, this is the only excitement I get
Must be about time for you too Fox?

Haha Dulcet, I hate crotch watch. I think if I get pg again I'll be on it for the first 12 weeks!

Hope you're engaging in lots of scottish shagging Lala. We have a house guest at the moment so has been none for us . Don't think I'll get a BFP this month.

Af due on Wednesday but I couldn't wait any longer.

POAS, big fat fucking negative.

So, on the plus side I can have a little tipple probably get bladdered at my sister's hen do next weekend......that's going to be fun to watch......

Wil how long is your house guest staying for? Could you send them out for a pint of milk/cup of sugar whilst you Dtd and get yer legs in the air?

Dulcet why you feeling so grey? and (((hugs)))

You never know Rpopz!

Well I definitely know now. AF is here, so now have a 32 day cycle to throw into the mix. So much for fucking positivity.

(((Hugs))) RPopz

How long have your cycles been 32-35 days?

Never really tracked them before but always been about 5 weeks long since I was a teenager. Tracking since December and they've been 35, 34, 33 and 32 up to now!

Oh sorry rpopz! What a pain in the arse! Have something to cheer you up, it helps! I think cycles change the more we watch. Jan was a 23 day for me and Feb was 33. Where is the sense in that?!

Thanks for the support fox, i'm ok really. Just a glum day. All the mothers day, injured foot, work being rubbish type stuff that keeps me down. Keeping a smile on my face though!

The varying days make it pretty bloody awful - shorter cycles bring on the heartache a little sooner, longer cycles give you that glimmer of hope.

Dulcet you're ALLOWED to have glum days, if having a smile on your face is too difficult then so be it - you don't have to pretend.

Completely understand the feeling down about Mother's Day. Last year I was so hopeful that, by yesterday, we'd have a snugly little bundle of love. But hey, it isn't to be at be moment.

Ach I'm having a glum day too, I'll join you in a mini-pity party if you like Dulce

Hate all the Mother's Day crap. I had a lovely "Happy Aunty Day" cuddle off my gorgeous DNs. Love them so much.

Re Endo - well all they have to do is stick a camera up my bum (looking forward to that), but I'm waiting for an appointment. It may be delayed because the poo sample I had to take in "got lost".... hmmm, hope it's not sitting in a forgotten drawer somewhere in the hospital then, that won't be a pleasant discovery!!!!!

Ooh Lala have fun in Scotland, and if you conceive will you call it Angus or Hamish if it's a boy and Morag or Nessie if it's a girl? Excellent

(((hugs))) to mich too - god, what's happening to us all today?

Don't worry about the colonoscopy, I've had 3 now (all without sedation) and it's fine. The worst part is the prep, and also not being able to have a cuppa - but once you're through that it's a piece of piss

Colonoscopy does not sound fun. Can you have vodka first?

to everyone feeling glum.

Sorry about the witch RPopz, can't believe she turned up early. However Fox you are definitely not out yet. 2 days before AF could easily be wrong.

House guest leaving in an hour and other half back around 8.30 so I'll hopefully be getting my cape on. It could well be too late but as I have no clue I'm just going to go for it anyway.

Mother's Day would be fine without fb I think. It's quite a nice day but there seem to be hoards of people feeling they deserve congratulations for being a mother and of course competing with others to show they have been spoiled the most.

Eek 4 colonoscopies without sedation??! They'd have totake me out with a blunt object!!

So I've cried my eyes out for an hour. Now I have chocolate digestives and CAFFEINATED tea... wine and fruit and nut for later!!

Got an app with the GP on Thurs. She'll prob tell me to bugger off but hey ho.

I got right hacked of with FB yesterday - it was full of "I love my mum she's just the best", "my first mummies day with my gorgeous bubba" rah rah rah.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my mum very much and I do spoil her on mothers day but it was getting on my tits yesterday, along with all the mummies posting pics of their babies....

I think the green eyed monster has taken up residence here. Oh well I'll get over myself soon.

RPopz sending you a big hug and big chunk of cake xx

I think Mother's Day is tough for me as there is no mum or baby. Makes it a bit if a nothing day for me but have to watch others celebrate. I'm alright if I don't think too much though, thinking is dangerous!

Don't fancy the camera up the bum much! But then I don't want it up me fanny either and that's booked more May. Maybe you can have appointment same day as me mich, it can be camera day for the Fred! No posting pictures though, that's probably over sharing!

Ill take some popcorn rpopz! Cinema sweet, yeah?

Oh dear, I have started a glum section. So sorry!! Will look brighter in the morning I hope. Do we need to do the 'things we are grateful for' thing again??

OBEM tonight too. Hopefully wont make us worse!!

Yeah I'm not a fan of mother's day. I never really had that kind of relationship with my mother. She was largely abusive to me growing up.... so cards full of mush about how wonderful and supportive you are mummy... they're just woefully inappropriate to me. And now, obvs, I have a second reason to hate it!

Anyway, glumness is definitely taking hold here isn't it! Bloody Hollyoaks isn't helping!!

Am def avoiding obem today...

well if u are all glum don't do what I'm doing...watching obem what happened next. why do I do this to myself.

for me mothers day was OK, until sil gave me a plant from my nephew as a - and I quote - thank you for being my pretend mummy on Wednesdays mother's day present. owch!

still, we have our referral appt tomorrow morning. sil going for appt about bump so hoping we won't bump into her! I'm feeling worried enough as it is without having to avoid people too!

sorry for AF turning up. was hoping we'd have another bfp on here this week! was it rpopz saying about cycle lengths? mine are normally between 32-35 days. 2minths ago 39 days the last month 28 days! I think out bodies just like to annoy us!

I'll take some prosecco and popcorn if there is any left!

Oh RPopz massive hugs. Hope the doctor's appointment is useful.

I don't think it's the green eyed monster Ayles. It's possible to have both a mother and a child you love very much without feeling the need to share your cheesy-arse emotions with the rest of the world. Don't worry, you won't suddenly turn into one of these annoying people the minute you have a baby. I have faith we're all better than that! I can imagine it is especially shit if you don't have a mum around or have a difficult relationship.

Sorry Lil x-posted. Good luck for tomorrow.

Yeah it was me lil. Wouldn't mind going down to 28 tbh, less waiting around!! Good luck for tomorrow. You must be nervous x

tbh 28days was rubbish, I feel like I got cheated out of sex! dh gives up after icing, his drive is rubbish! I think we managed 3times last month so no wonder AF showed up!

I am nervous about tomorrow, but also relieved that we are moving forward. dh is surprisingly calm about it and that worries me more!

I think we need to bring this thread back to pma, or we are in danger of displacing all the water in the pity jacuzzi! so if you could be an animal what would you be? you can't choose an animal that someone else has already chosen, and you have to give your reason.

so, I would be a kitten because I like cuddles, but I also like having energy to run around and cause havoc! who's next?

Cocker spaniel!! Just cause I love 'em ? (Especially the little black and orange one laid by my fire right now) They are also very snuggly yet havoc causing ;-)

Unicorn!

Without a doubt as it's everything I want to be. Elegant, graceful and magical. Ahhhhhhhhh bliss.
So, sorry I've been Mia, work bloody work right gets in the way doesn't it!

Nothing new to report here, I'm in the twot, not feeling so hopeful but there's always a glimmer of a sliver of chance I guess.
I have my theory test tomorrow, wish me luck. I reckon I'll need it. Also going for my day 21 (23 for me) in the morning and marinating a chicken in the afternoon.
God im boring.
much oh dolly, I'm so sorry your suffering right now, hopefully it's beginning to ease off a bit tho?

Aargh don't torture yourselves with OBEM! I've just had my Zombie fix (last in series, Sob!), so I'm happy.
Dulcet
I'll take some prosecco and popcorn if there is any left - I have a PopCorn Maker so it's never ending. Just need to find a Prosecco maker and I'll be sorted!!

Good luck tomorrow Lil good to get the ball rolling with getting things sorted.

Fourfox - eeek 3 colonoscopies! Dulcet at least a camera up your fanjo is less 'invasive' since your fanj is designed for things to go up there!! I'm not too worried about it, I'm quite looking forward to seeing what's going on inside there! (will prob cry if it's riddled with Endo though).

RPopz sorry you've had a crap day. Hugs and Popcorn for you xx

OK - what animal would I be? Well am I allowed to be a German Shepherd, since RPopz has already picked a dog? Mine is so handsome and sensible, I love him.

If I can't be a dog, I'd be a Killer whale, because they're awesome, double hard, beautiful, super clever and the ladies rule in their societies!