Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

you start between cd6 and 9,depending on what it learns about your cycle dulcet. you have 5days to set the start of your cycle at the beginning of month. cd17 here and have been poas since cd9, high the last 3 days. bored now! I want a peak!

min stop poas!

Dulce: you have to set up the cycle by day 4. Then start peeing on day 6 and every day until you ovulate it seems. This is my first month with it though so its still "learning". I guess I won't have to pee on it as often when it knows my cycle!

Bizarrely, once you've set the cycle up, it doesn't count the first day of your period as day 1, it uses the next day. Threw me a bit when I was setting it up - kept thinking I'd put the wrong dates in it!! But then I looked at instructions and there is a note in there saying it "may" count like that. Anyone know why!!??

Slowly losing the plot. Tips for staying sane during TWOT?

when did u press the m button rpopz? idmf u pressed it on cd2 you have to hold it down until it changes to 2. you can do that any day up to cd5, not 4, just holding it down until u get to the right day.
makes sense UV started from cd6 on first cycle. I did too but as I ov late it went to cd9 last cycle and this before it started asking for sticks.

fail! idmf= if

will if we knew how to do that none of us would be here!

I don't know if I have an M button!? Lol... fail... I've got the advance one I think its called? The one with the lid? Is yours the other one?

Going for a shorter name there Wil? I would advise drinking lots of wine ;-)

hiya lovelies ... feel like I've abandoned you all. v busy planning for the move and jsing

hope you are all getting your capes on and not letting the other buggers get you down.

x

hi ayles hope all going well with packing!

rpopz I didn't know there was more than one type ! no lid on mine and def an m button. its great from a simplicity POV but I hat poas 2/3rds of the month! how do u tell it the start of your cycle then if u don't have an m button?

just realised actually cd18, not 17. have only dtd twice and have just hinted at doing it tonight to dh to be met with "I'm not in the mood" ffs babies don't make themselves, and regardless of that I'm not a f'ing nun! grrr

Haha Lil, sometimes I would long for my DP not to be in the mood! Will bribery work?
Yes RPopz, I cba typing it out every time I sign in! Trying to stay off the wine until ERTD. Had completely decided I was pg today, until this evening when I have done a complete 180 and decided I'm not. Aaargh I need to keep busy or I'm a fucking nightmare.

There is a spider under a yoghurt pot in my hall. I'm scared I go to bed before other half gets home and he doesn't read his text and then he walks into the pot and the spider escapes. It's too big for me to deal with. What I really need is one of you animal-types here to put it outside for me.

Been POAS for the last 11 days, had 2 days of low (ie nothing) then 9 days in a row of high fertility with no peak.... Stupid test, coming up on cd20, and according to test haven't ovulated yet.

Tho I must say DH has been very obliging when I've demanded asked he oblige with JSing.

Just sulking cos no wine, tho if we believe contraband there's no was I'm pg, but we're believing the contraband is wrong lol. mutters about wanting wine

wil slide a piece of paper or card under the pot without picking it up! then you can take it out and nudge the pot with a stick from miles away?

ooh I like the nudging idea. It's the picking up I'm not sure about. What if I can feel it move...? God, how am I a grown up?!

I'd offer you a cat to get rid of the spider wil but you'd still ha e to pick up the bits of legs when they are done with it!

If you use a bit of card you won't feel it move. Or, if you do, it's tarantula sized!

Good luck!

Haha actually Dulcet I could deal with that. I'm ok with dead spiders. Well I am so brave. I did it, and didn't even use a stick. Took it right out to the pavement. And the bloomin' thing just started scurrying back towards the house. It's going to be back in in like 10 minutes isn't it?

Well done! And no, the walls of the house are just a bit warmer on a cold night like this, it'll just find a warmer space there.

Least that's what I'd tell myself :)

You ladies are good to know! Thanks Zyla. Well that distracted me for ten minutes. Now back to sorting out laundry and wondering if I'm upduffed...

Lil its called advance fertility monitor. Basically same thing just in a fancier box I guess! I got it cos on ebay there was only about a tenner difference between this one and the original one. Unfortunately the pee sticks are more expensive and you cant use the same ones as for the old monitor! Its touch screen though, that's how I tell it things. DH calls it my gameboy advance..... lol.

Wil I just leave myself signed in all the time!! But mostly only use mn on my phone. I'm a bit terrified of the card trick!! Spiders usually stay under glasses for days in my house... or til DH takes pity on me haha.

Chocolate?

Dulce my cats just stomp on spiders... very funny but not so effective in there removal haha!

*their.....

Yeah I'm too paranoid someone picks up my phone and discovers my secret identity!! loser.

Well what do you know? Clearly spider excitement was too much and it's spurred the witch on. Spotting and cramps. Ertd will be here by morning. I'm so cross with myself for getting carried away. Although it has reminded me that I really need to get this nausea issue sorted out. Sigh. Onwards to May.

Sorry to hear that wil - she really is a stupid witch!

Aw booo! Now you have to find that spider and stomp on it!