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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

thread maxed out!!

532 replies

misskgb · 11/03/2014 08:55

The 'Um hello newbie' thread has maxed out at 1000 messages so hoping we can find the people who were on there and continue where we left of..........new people welcome too!!

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mrshjb · 29/04/2014 10:15

Haha fair enough. I started mid cycle last month and found it really useful but I'm finding it harder this month because I've been waking up at different times so dunno if that's why my temp is all over the place or whether it would have been at this point on my cycle last time. I want to sack it off too but it really helped me to know when to expect AF last month so don't want to lose that! Such a pain!

binkybunny · 30/04/2014 18:58

Am going to ask the question on here as it seems to have got lost on the antenatal thread!

Does anyone know what the sonographer checks at the 20 week scan if we have not asked for any tests done ie downs syndrome? The MW on the antenatal thread said the point of the scan was to check for anomalies but we dont want to know if there are any!

weebairn · 30/04/2014 20:13

Hey binky

The downs risk is checked at the 12 week scan and the blood test that goes with it. I don't think they check for anything relating to downs particularly at the 20 week scan. They look at most of the organs in depth to check the heart, brain, spine, kidneys are all functioning etc. Cleft palates. Stuff like that.

Here's a good summary of what they look at in the 20 week scan

www.babycentre.co.uk/a557390/anomaly-scan-20-weeks

If you really don't want to know if there are any anomalies you don't have to have the scan - its not compulsory!

In my last pregnancy I had a low lying placenta on my 20 week scan and I got quite stressed about it, thinking I might need to have a c section etc. They rescanned me at 36 weeks and it was absolutely fine, not low any more. I agree sometimes it's just better not to know!

binkybunny · 30/04/2014 21:36

Thanks wee I do want the scan to see our baby again but we dont really want to know about anything that might be wrong! Will have to have a chat with DH and see what we decide to do.

mrshjb · 01/05/2014 07:10

Morning, that's an interesting conversation, didn't really know that you had the option not to have the scan. Do you think you could meet half way and have it so you can see your baby but say that you don't want to be told if there is anything wrong?

weebairn · 01/05/2014 07:22

Why is it you don't want to know about anything that might be wrong?

Is it because you would keep the baby no matter what?

I think I am the same but bear in mind some of the (very rare) conditions they can pick up on the scan are treatable. So if say baby had a heart defect they could make all the plans for surgery immediately after birth, have paediatricians present at the birth to help immediately etc - sometimes they even can operate while baby is still in the womb!! (The mind boggles!) These are obviously very rare situations.

I have a friend who is a midwife who didn't have any scans in her pregnancy, she just kinda wanted to do it all naturally I think

Ladymillion · 01/05/2014 09:21

Hi ladies, this subject came up in conversation with my friend who was around 24 weeks at the time. We were discussing scans and gender etc (I already knew that her and her partner had not wanted to know the sex at their 20 week scan), and she asked if I was going to have the screening for Down's Syndrome. Until then I hadn't even thought that some people might opt out! And then she also said they hadn't wanted to know anything at the 20 week scan either (except checking the heart rate was healthy and growth was on track). Since then I have spoken to another pregnant friend who has also chosen not to have the screening for Down's as it would just make them more anxious and it wouldn't matter either way, she said.

I can understand the reasoning behind this decision but I personally will be having any screening / checks offered - if I received some bad news I'd like to be as prepared as possible; whether that meant speaking to other parents in the same boat or researching or like weebairn mentioned, making sure plans were in place should there be any complications or issues during pregnancy or after birth.

For me, having some kind of control over this roller coaster of a ride stops me from going insane! Wink

I've been popping by to get an update on how you're all doing, can't keep away haha xx

weebairn · 01/05/2014 09:29

I considered not having the downs screening but I think I'd want to be forewarned (though i know it's only a risk factor not an absolute unless you have further tests)

Also while I would massively struggle to end any pregnancy, I think I would if the baby had a condition that was incompatible with life, or they would only live a short time in pain after the birth

Very personal decisions, no rights or wrongs

KikiThePea · 01/05/2014 12:05

An interesting, and difficult, question to answer.

We decided not to have the screening for Downs; this is mainly for very personal reasons on both sides. But secondly because we didn't hugely see the point in being given a risk factor - absolutely nothing definite - and there was no way I would go through with the second stage of testing as it carries a miscarriage risk ( I don't care how small, there wasn't a chance I was going to take it).

We're having the 20 week scan this afternoon and have read everything I could on what they're checking for. A friend of the family has a darling little 5 year old who was born with an incredibly rare and serious heart condition - because they knew about this in advance they were all able to prepare and baby was operated on as soon as possible after delivery, and subsequently plan his early-years care in advance. Seeing that this preparation saved his life has meant that I'd always want to know in advance if we needed to be ready for such a situation.

Saying all of that, I completely understand both why people don't want to know anything, and why there are those who want to know everything.

Original poster
misskgb · 01/05/2014 16:18

I've said I'd like to find out. My 4 month old nephew had a shadow behind his neck on his scans. It could have been several things inc downs n my sis had lots of tests. Baby was born with a slight chest infection n nothing else so lots of worry for nothing.

Despite that, I'd want extra care during pregnancy if it was needed so we've asked to be checked & told n deal with it if we have to. Obs fx we all have healthy pregnancies!

Kiki let us know how u get on!

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weebairn · 01/05/2014 16:24

Good luck today Kiki!! Mine is in 2 weeks.

KikiThePea · 01/05/2014 17:16

Hello everyone!

I'm thrilled to say that baba is fine, albeit badly behaved once again - seemed far more interested in showing off its spine and bottom than anything else. Once again it's been accused of being the wriggliest baby the sonographer has ever encountered (not even the same person!), but it was lovely to see everything as it should be - lovely long legs apparently! The placenta is in the correct position so they're not anticipating any more scans. I can relax now (although my poor old pelvis having been jiggled around trying to get the baby to face in the right direction at the right time, may take some more time to recover...)

mrshjb · 01/05/2014 17:19

Aww amazing news Kiki, congratulations!

Lolly84 · 01/05/2014 19:29

I agree very hard question answer. Have opinions but each to their own!

Waiting for first scan is hard. Felt super pregnant last week and not so much this week. Having a lot of ups and downs with it. Feeling a little achey and putting it down to stretching going on. 18 days and counting, wish I could put my mind at rest x

binkybunny · 01/05/2014 19:48

Hi all. Interesting to hear everyones thoughts. We decided not to have the tests as we would continue with the pregnancy no matter what and deal with it when the time comes. There are so many cases of healthy babies being born after months of worry that we just dont want to go through it!

The thought of being able to have surgery straight after birth if anything is found has made me think twice though. Unfortunately I'm not having a 16 week midwife appointment, they don't do them where I am but I think I might see if I can talk through options with my midwife before the scan. We def want to see our baby again and find out the sex!

Kiki so pleased to hear alls ok and s/he was nice and wriggly! Did you find out the sex?

weebairn · 01/05/2014 20:17

Kiki that's great news, so happy for you!

Original poster
misskgb · 01/05/2014 21:32

Lolly me too. Swam yday no worries but today felt like a stretching feeling. Not always sure what is Rice Krispie & what is constipation! ! Haha (way tmi!) Dh told me I look pregnant today. Still worried how big I am for 12 weeks so can't wait for the scan nxt thurs n to confirm the pregnancy!

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Lolly84 · 02/05/2014 09:32

Glad it's not just me, I am sure we will be the same waiting for the 20 week scan lol!! U must be so excited MissKgb?

Having a little bump must be reassuring? I'm starting to feel bigger, feel more bloated than anything. Feel like I was going to pop last night before bed lol. Boobs are aching this morning, I am sure it's the way I am sleeping.

So glad I am working from home today so I can relax a but more. I have been here there and everywhere this week. I work all over the country so nice to be out my car and at home. X

mrshjb · 02/05/2014 11:56

Please can I have a collective finger crossing from you lovely ladies?! Cd17 and ecwm has started over the last day or so, really praying that temperature shows ovulation soon and I have two normal cycles in a row. That's not too much to ask for surely?!!!

chillychicken · 02/05/2014 12:13

My fingers are tightly crossed for you h!

Lolly84 · 02/05/2014 12:43

Everything crossed Helen! U will be sure to ovulate within the next couple of days. Remember legs up in the afterwards. Wink xx

binkybunny · 02/05/2014 12:49

Fingers and toes crossed for you H!

binkybunny · 02/05/2014 12:53

Lolly working from home sounds lovely. Hate being at my desk all day,, am knackered today. Also my colleague bathes herself in perfume and it's still making me gag. I could cope driving around instead!

Have had really weird and vivid dreams this week. One night I dreamt I was being mugged and had to wake myself up I was so scared. Last night I dreamt I had had a miscarriage, when I woke up it was just lots of discharge but freaked me out! I keep dreaming my DH and I are trying to DTD in really random places too but get interrupted Blush I'm blaming it on the hormones!

KikiThePea · 02/05/2014 15:24

Thanks, all Smile

binky, we didn't find out - so,surprise in September!

Helen, I have absolutely everything crossed for you xxx

Original poster
misskgb · 02/05/2014 15:37

Everything crossed H! :-) keep us updated

Lolly- very excited. Thursday can't come soon enough tbh. It is reassuring to have a bump but still really want someone to tell me for sure everything is ok!

Telling my dad tonight as he's away next week & then will tell everyone else after the scan between Thursday & Saturday so I can relax at our presentation Saturday night! This next week or so is fx gonna be great! :-)

Binky-dh cheated on me in my dreams last week. Was very real & woke up crying but did kick the c**p out of him in my dream for it. Def with u on the discharge thing too. Bloody hormones! !

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