BFPs for the month of love... The February bus is on the way!

[barmybunting]

New February bus thread... Old thread is here - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1967468-All-ttc-or-expecting-their-BFPs-welcome-Fingers-crossed-for-a-fantastically-fertile-February

Here is to more February BFPs!

[RetroHippy]

Right, I've had my wallow. Lots to do today so in getting out of bed!

Not allowed back on here till I've walked the dog, showered, and done something productive that doesn't involve pee sticks or babies.

[missmrsmummy]

Hi rambini I am a teacher too and my bfp is also due on 12th!

Don't feel guilty about leaving your class. I am off with stress and don't know when I'll be going back. I have Year 6 so they might have to get through the SATs without me!

Your health is more important

[missmrsmummy]

Good plan, Retro. We will still be here when you get back x

[sazzlehopes]

Ginger - the idea of you chanting stuff whilst or after dtd really made me laugh. I feel I'm allowed to only after having got a bfp after 14months. I have everything crossed for you....you SO deserve your bfp soon x

[rambini]

Thanks missmrs. I dont know what it is about teaching which makes us all feel racked with guilt for taking time off. Its crazy, our health is so much more important. Ooh a BFP buddy too :-) how long do you think ul hold off until the urge to poas rears its ugly head?, im already struggling! Hopefully having some time off to yourself to relax and destress will help your efforts at TTC. X

[Hazelbrowneyes]

Thank you all. I'm so confused. He won't change his lifestyle yet doesn't understand why we should stop TTC. I've pointed out that alcohol affects sperm count and mobility. I'm trying to make him see that I don't want endless months of BFNs because of it. He doesn't think it affects sperm at all. I don't see how I can get him to understand without it constantly descending into an argument. It's too exhausting.

[missmrsmummy]

rambini if no AF on 12th I'm not sure what I'll do! I've not had chance to poas yet (TTC since Dec) as AF has always arrived (thought I had a 28 day cycle but it's been 23/24 days). I'd like to think that I'd wait another couple of days and if still no AF, test on 14th? What are you thinking of doing?

DH won't really let me poas early as tests are expensive and I don't dare to buy ics as I don't think they'd be any good for my sanity so I'm not classed as a poas addict! Yet!

[rambini]

I am exactly the same regarding ics missmrs. I think if they were that cheap and readily available I would drive myself crazy! I am also going to try to wait til 14th. Wouldn't it just be the best valentines gift?! My cycle is ridiculous though so I am trying not to get hopes up. Over the last 12 months it has varied wildly with anything from 25-49 days!

[missmrsmummy]

Oh wow rambini it must be so hard to know what's happening! I'm starting to wonder how long mine will be this month, given that I haven't ov'd yet! Ok shall we agree to poas on Val Day (unless we get AF'd by then!)?

[rambini]

Yes missmrs it does make it pretty difficult to know what is going on! But fx by some miracle it has happened! My mum and gran both went through menopause at ages 27/28 so my doctor has been doing blood tests to try to rule that out. So far I haven't had anyone tell me its impossible so I remain ever optimistic. Also although varying wildly in cycle length, I am still getting fairly regular AF so I refuse to get downhearted yet. It isnt over til the fat lady sings (or the AF lady stops singing!) That sounds like a good plan, so unless we get AF beforehand, we shall poas on the 14th and hope for a valentines gift for us both x

[MrBsMrsB]

Hey Ladies, can i ask a very quick question.
At what dpo do you think a normal not me person would poas.

I'm telling myself the answer to this question is after AF has not arrived - but i wonder if there are any other opinions.

Hope all the 2WWaiters are doing ok?

[rambini]

Hi MrBsMrsB I was wondering the same thing earlier and stumbled accross a website which tells u the liklihood of getting a BFP on each dpo. No idea how accurate it is, but might make for interesting reading...

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/dpo-chart.php?dpo=10

[Treaclepie19]

I am not sane enough for ttc!!!!!
Not been well, think im getting a stomach bug... I really hope not. Still went to work (also a teacher) but lost the plot. So anyway im at 7/8dpo and decided to test to make myself feel better! Stupid me.

Obviously bfn but this mornings test has now got a pink smudge which im guessing is an evap line?
Hey ho. Serves me right for testing so stupidly early.

[angelicjen]

Thanks for the new bus. Keeping my seat for the moment. 9dpo, stroppy and cramping. Last month I convinced myself this was a good sign, now I am just dreading stupid af.

Good to see some early bfps. Hope this will be a lucky bus.

Hugs to the people who are finding it hard this month. It's a surprising strain on relationships, sanity, concentration on anything other than ttc, isn't it. I kind of wish we lived in the olden days, before opks and a medical knowledge of how it all works. It must have been easier to believe in storks and gooseberry bushes and just be pleased when it happened, insead of crushed when it doesn't.

Oh well, let's keep at it ladies. It's so nice to read all your stories when it feels like no one, especially DP, knows what this is like.

[MrsExtraOrdinary]

Hazel this might be a bit controversial and I don't want to upset you by saying this so feel free to bite my head off but don't be too hard on your dh. I know In an ideal world, everyone would be at their optimum physically at conception, but that's not always realistic. For a lot of men until they actually see and hold a baby it isn't real. Dh didn't give up smoking until after our little ds was born and had his first bday. It suddenly hit home he wanted to see our son grow up and be there for him into adulthood. Which he wouldn't have done if he died at 49 like his dad, a smoker. He went from 30-40 a day to nothing over night. He'd smoked no stop for nearly 30 years. I don't condone smoking and he never smoked in our house, car etc, but the penny only drops when it drops. Bringing babies into arguments is not good though so I'm hoping you can sort out these differences very soon. Good luck

[MrBsMrsB]

Thanks rambini
I shall read after whilst putting together this presentation for work.

[Hazelbrowneyes]

MrsExtra, not at all controversial and you haven't upset me. You're right. I am being too hard, I think. I'm a bit calmer now, so will have a chat with him tonight. We're both at work so a bit difficult to do it now.

[EnglishGirlAbroad]

Hazel, how much is your dh drinking? If it's only social drinking i'm sure it wont do too much damage. Yes ideally, we'd all give up all our vices but realistically none of us know how long this ttc journey may take. Giving everything up could make the time seem even longer and a lot less enjoyable.
Maybe you could at least persuade him to take some sort of vitamins, so he's putting some good stuff in? I'm sure all will be fine.

[Hazelbrowneyes]

For the last 2 weeks he's not had any larger at home, or bought any which is fab.

Last week he had 3 or 4 pints every night Mon-Thurs, 7 (maybe even 8) on Friday, 6 or 7 on Saturday and 6 on Sunday then 2 glasses of wine at home. Then 4 last night. In the last 3 months he's probably had 8 days without any alcohol at all.

I'm actually embarrassed to write that.

[Writerwannabe83]

Only just caught up with the February Bus. Congratulations to those with BFPs already and commiserations to those who got AF

mama - I can't believe your spotting has gone on this long?! I really hope your GP takes action, after all, something must be causing it??

hazel - I felt sad reading your post, your disappointment in your DHs attitude is completely justified. His alcohol intake is quite excessive and it's probably fair to assume it may be affecting his sperm quality. Has he always been quite a big drinker? One of my exes was always drinking, he was having numerous bottles of beer or cans of lager every single night and it used to worry me sick - he honestly didn't think it was a problem though. I asked him to cut back and asked if we could just spend one night in together where he didn't have any alcohol but he couldn't do it. Hence why he's my ex! Your DH should be putting in just as much effort as you when it comes to TTC. Think about all the emotional stress you are going through but he won't even cut back on the alcohol, it seems a bit unfair. I really feel for you. I suppose the key is making him understand what the affects of excess alcohol intake can be on sperm - do you think he'd be receptive if you gave him some research to read or something?

[MrsExtraOrdinary]

Hazel I agree that is an awful lot of alcohol and I think for now you are making the right decision. But perhaps try and have some realistic goals for him. If you put ttc on hold that's all it is on hold. Doesn't mean it won't happen when other factors are more resolved.

Hello writer hope you're feeling like the Iron Lady, super strong and fighting fit

[Writerwannabe83]

MrsExtraOrdinary - I'm feeling so much better in myself since starting the Spatone!!! My breathing is better, I have more energy, my moods are better and I'm sleeping better!!! Thanks again

[Hazelbrowneyes]

Yes, unfortunately this level of drinking is not new. It's been made worse since living in a small village with lots of pubs though.

Thanks both. I'm so angry with him. I'm putting my life on hold because he likes to drink excessively. How is that fair?

[EnglishGirlAbroad]

Hmmm Hazel, that is quite a bit. I understand that you're worried. It must be so frustrating. But I do think it's something that needs talking about, if you both want children some sacrifices need to be made. Even if you could get him to cut out midweek drinking it would help. Good luck, I'll be sending positivity your way.

[Writerwannabe83]

Do you think he has a drinking problem Hazel?
He is being incredibly unfair and your resentment will only get worse. Have you told him how unsupported you feel and that you can't understand why he won't change for the sake of having a baby?? Is he as keen as you to have one?