Eggcellent egg buddies - a thread for all those IVFing in January, February and March - Volume 2

[resipsa]

Hi all. As promised, a sparkling new thread that is going to see a lot of action in the next few weeks, I hope!

Sometimes ds says 'when I'm a daddy I will have two children. Twins! A boy and a girl so they won't ever be lonely.'
And that tugs at my heart. But plenty of siblings just annoy each other a lot of the time. Dh has two older brothers who hate each other, they really don't get on at all. I don't think a sibling would necessarily be as great as ds thinks it would be!

I find it hard to accept that there will never be another baby. I don't feel done. Otoh if this doesn't work I need to try and move past it because it has tainted ds's early years already. I've thought 'I'll never have this again' instead of just enjoying him.

I've just used the auto injector for the first time and I literally didn't feel anything but the syringe was empty. Has anyone used one? Is this normal or am I lucky? There was no blood either. I'm worrying it didn't work.

Lucky - enjoy it!

Hi turquoise are you using a pen injector? I did (gonal f) - I never had blood and it only stung three times, other than that, I didn't really feel much at all. I'm sure it's worked if the syringe is empty

Yes it's an auto injector pen. Thanks for replying. I thought I was going crazy. I'm hoping for a nice bruise tomorrow to confirm it did inject. It's for buserelin.

What a great injection if it did work. The one yesterday was a normal injection with just a syringe and that did actually hurt.

One and Resipsa, I'm over feeling sad for my son if he's going to be an only. He absolutely loves all the attention he gets and we can afford lovely presents, activities and days out as he's our only one. He actively doesn't want a sibling now he's six. He did when he was about 3 though. I'm blessed with one but another would be lovely.

Those pens sound great! I found injections painful because of the super blunt needles. I take it you ladies aren't NHS?

Interesting reading about peoples' feelings around accepting having one child. Right now, I can't bear to think like that. My DP and I are both one of 3 and we would like two more. I realise how unlikely that is to happen now, but we would definitely adopt if this IVF doesn't work. I could put myself through 2 more fresh rounds, I think. It's the cost which bothers me the most. And that devil's juice Buserelin! That was by far the first bit for me. I would rather have egg collection every week than inject that again. I am proud to say that I haven't tested today but have spent far too long on google panicking about everything. I really want to see a dark line! Am in school for the next three days so will test on Sat morn. Goodnight ladies xxx

I feel guilty perusing a second child in some ways. Especially if it doesn't work. I think what we could have used the money on - something nice with ds, home improvements, ds's savings etc.
I also worry that I will become unwell (the diabetes adds to my worries) and that ds will be left without a mother. I know this is not rational.
I also feel bad that whilst going through treatment I am grumpy and short tempered. When I was doing it I was certain I wouldn't do it again...but now I think maybe once more.

It's so difficult.

Yep Bad sadly we are private, we were told by our NHS fertility clinic that we had to have been ttc for 3 years to qualify for NHS treatment in our area (even though we know we are infertile and why... ttc-ing for another year wouldn't make any difference!). I could have waited another year but in our area once you qualify the waiting list is then 3 years long. I couldn't face waiting another 4 years, so we bit the bullet!

Turquoise - ours is just 3 and wonders why she has no baby like all (literally) her friends but if she knew the reality of a sibling, she'd probably care less!

I don't even want to think about not being able to have another baby. Just doesn't bear thinking about.
Vall I am so jealous of myself on my first round too. I really didn't have any idea and thought that IVF would be the answer to my prayers. We were really lucky and got pregnant on our first attempt ducks to avoid the plates being thrown by the other egg buddies and so assumed that getting pregnant with Nr 2 was going to be the same. God, ignorance is bliss.
res my goodness she is a big girl but no wonder with those genes. DS is tall for his age (90cm, 21 months) but his Dad is 6'7" so no wonder really.

I used to wonder if I'd have a big family; I'm one of 2, DH one of 3. I was always very envious of my cousins in families with 4 or 5 kids and used to dream of having that many myself. TBH even if I had been an instadiffer it would've been unlikely seeing as I was already nearly 31 when we started TTC, and I would probably rather have fewer kids and more holidays, but it would've been nice to have the choice. I guess I will consider us incredibly lucky to get 1 let alone 2 but at least I know for sure we'll never be using contraception again...

Cwtching - 4 years is indeed a long time to wait. I didn't qualify for NHS either, since I already have my DS but felt slightly better about paying when I learned that even if I was eligible, I would have had to wait for another 18 months. That would have put me at nearly 40, so I think even if we had been eligible we'd have paid anyway. I am self-funding at an NHS clinic, which is slightly cheaper than going private, but it's very much like being on a conveyer belt. I haven't seen the same doctor or nurse twice and have to answer the same stupid questions each time I go. Some of the nurses are nice, but some are old dragons who have no time for you, so I can see why some people pay more to get a better service.

Hope you are all we today. I just came into school looking like a bloated whale and my HOD said 'Oh my goodness. Have you done a test? You look totally pregnant!'' Am of course lying about having tested, but I don't want everybody to ask me. Terrified of a miscarriage!

Urgh, I was meant to be going to a numeracy session at ds's school this morning but the progesterone has upset my stomach so I've had to come home instead. Feel bad for ds, hope he isn't looking for me bless his little heart.

Got to ring the clinic later and see if any of our remaining embies have made it to blast but I highly doubt it. They weren't faring particularly well!

Bad I haven't bloated at all, I'm taking that as a bad sign.

I wouldn't, One. The nurse said it was because I got 16 eggs. Your follicles re-fill with fluid afterwards, hence the bloating. I also think I'm reacting badly to the progesterone - I'm the opposite to you - it's making me constipated and windy!

Damn the progesterone. It's the only thing that's caused me side effects really. I feel sick too. But mainly I feel guilty for missing ds's workshop.

I was expecting to bloat but I think actually I've lost weight on account of the high sugars so eating less and the feeling sick.

I've put on half a stone through IVF. The hormones have made me much hungrier than usual. Try not to feel too guilty about the workshop. I feel guilty every time I drop my DS at nursery and come to work. Although I must admit, am finding it easier sitting here marking books in the English office than looking after him!

I think it would have been different if I wasn't trying to keep my sugars between 4-8 all the time. Usually I wouldn't stress about the occasional higher sugar but I'm paranoid that it will cause my embies to give up the ghost. I think without the diabetes I might have put weight on too!

I'm sure ds will survive and there are only a few parents from his class going, I usually go though which is why he might be looking for me.

Have spoken to the clinic, the embies didn't progress.
This does not leave me much hope for the ones I had put back.

Think I'm out.

One honey. I understand how you're feeling sweetie, but please remember having frosties isn't a sign for getting pregnant. I've never had frosties out of 7 cycles, apart from 1!! I had no frosties on the cycle I got pregnant with my DS and I didn't even get to day 5! I didn't have any frosties on the cycle I got pregnant but miscarried. They always put the BEST ones back inside us and that is the most natural place for them to be xxx

Thanks bugs.
I feel sad for the little ones that perished. How silly is that? I think the hormones may be getting to me.

Spoke to dh who feels similarly to me, if the others weren't going to make it then these probably wont either. They all developed quite slowly, the best one was a 6 cell at not quite 72 hours. It's just horrid thinking they've probably already stopped dividing and yet we have to wait another 12 days to know for certain. All this hoping when they've probably already gone.

Will chat to clinic re trying again and about why the development was slow, I guess it must have been the egg quality. They did assisted hatching as my eggs were hard boiled. I'm only 31 so not sure why. We knew we had severe mfi and now we have hard boiled eggs too! It's not very promising. The more I find out the more ds feels like a total miracle.

Thanks stars x x

I just think if the ones they didn't put back have stopped developing then the ones they put back probably have too. Especially since they were slow. If they'd put back 8 cells I might feel more optimistic.

Bugs is absolutely right. Mine with DS cycle were 6 cells at day 3!!!

It's not silly at all to feel sad for your embies that didn't make it. They are all our potential babies, well that's how I see it. I guess I've just hardened up a bit to it all after 7 cycles.

I'm really struggling and feeling very depressed. I want to just enjoy DS but instead I want to curl up and sleep for a very long time.